How Can I Have More Confidence in What I Write?
Question From: Skiler Johns
Scribes, do you love your writing? No? Well read on as I advise you and one of our lovely Scribes who asked for my help.Ā
Okay, weāre about to get personal here. At one point in my life, I wasnāt really confident in the way I looked. I didnāt feel like talking to people and being social because I didnāt even want people looking at me. So, I went on YouTube and watched self-confidence videos, and everyone kept talking about how much you have to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are and blah, blah, blah. A few months later, when I was really confident in my looks, I thought back to that period of my life and said āThose videos would have been so much more helpful if those people just said āDonāt like how you look now? Well, change it.āā
Iām not saying that self-love advice doesnāt help. (Trust me, it does, and weāll talk about that later.)
However, the way I look now that Iām confident is very different from how I looked when I had low self-esteem. I didnāt just miraculously start to like my reflection in the mirror. The reflection gradually began to change, and it was the change that I liked. Itās the same with your writing. You cannot write the same kind of story in the same kind of way and expect someone to give you a set of tips that will help you like it. I mean, someone can give you such motivational tips to love your writing that it makes you think youāre the best author in the world, but that wonāt really help you because at some point, you will realize that only your perspective on your work changed, not your work itself. Then you will be bumped off of your high horse and back to square one.
Start by surrounding yourself with like minds. I heard about this writing group called the Indigo Scribes, so joining that will probably help you (Iām so silly, lmao). No, but seriously, get in a place where there are others like you. Of course Iām the founder of the group so Iām going to tell you that this is a place that can help you, and it is, but there are others. Wattpad, or even other groups on Tumblr, can be very beneficial. You learn a lot from eavesdropping on writersā conversations. Look at tips. Look at questions that they ask each other and look at their answers. Thatās how I learned. Then you have to start asking questions yourself.
Read a lot. A woman once told me āThe writerās always reading and the readerās always writingā. I donāt think the latter half of that statement is necessarily true, but the first half definitely is. As a writer, you really donāt know anything about how to use your passion if you donāt witness other people do it. Read all different kinds of books. Get accustomed to how fiction writers use words and literary devices. Learn their patterns and techniques.
Iām going to make a masterpost at a later date filled with writing tips, but for now: ask for help, look at help that others have given, read books, keep a journal, go outside, travel, watch lots of movies, etc.
But now, back to what I was saying about self-love advice. It isnāt worth it if you donāt change the thing that you donāt love. However, the people who say that to love yourself you canāt compare yourself to others are right. Donāt read other peopleās work and say āman, my writing is trash compared to theirsā. Read it and pin-point the things you like about it. Mark down the things that the writer has done right and learn from those things. Look at things she did wrong and learn from those, too. Accept that you have your own writing style and others have theirs. Also, identify your writing style in the first place. You have to define your style so well that people know youāre the author of something without you telling them you are. Also, go back and dig up your oldest work and compare it to something you wrote today. See how much youāve grown? Be proud of yourself. Take note of what youāre doing better.
What helps me is to know what Iām writing about and why. An easier way to love what youāre writing is if you have a personal connection to the story line. For example, if you are writing a story just to test your writing skills, it will feel like a job to you. Youāll try to do it really well just to impress yourself (and others). However, if your grandparents just had their 60th anniversary and you are writing a love story, it will be easier for you. You will like what you are writing because you have a connection to it.
Last but not least: we all know that compliments make us feel good. Go somewhere that you can get some feedback on your writing, and as much as you need to take note of the negative feedback (it can be helpful), pay attention to the compliments! They can make us feel good.
I hope I could help you! Sorry for the late reply. If anyone has any tips for Skiler, go ahead and tell us!