My Modern Family

Having a job, raising an infant, and you know... Time is not my friend these days.

And I live Baby Gap

for Tumblr, housework, lesson planning, anything really... I am struggling so hard to find the mommy-wife-work balance and I am failing miserably. Then add to that the fact that my hormonal cycles are back. I am absolutely miserable. There is no way around it. And with my change in job, I don't see any of my work friends. :-( Something has got to give before I absolutely break.

Sure is!

Look! No hands! (Dear lord how did we get here already?!?)

We went to find Askinoskie chocolate at Target today. Couldn't find it. Maybe better luck tomorrow!

It is six months later, and baby is still breastfeeding. And I still hate it, lol. The actual nursing piece is fine now that he can go longer between meals, has more head/body control, and eats more efficiently (10 mins instead of 20 makes a huge difference when you are away from home!) But pumping is a huge pain in my ass. I am doing supplements, pumping 4-5 times at work whenever I can squeeze it in, and now will be pumping at night to try and make up for lack of supply. Luckily I haven't any huge issues with breastfeeding, but it is definitely a commitment. How easy to just mix some shit up and have anyone feed him. Done being upset over something dumb... Today has just been hard.

"Mom, I am not participating in this photo shoot." Also, where has six months gone?!?!

Survived our first baby music class today. Upon leaving we realized that the Dr. who did our insemenation was there with her daughter (she was covering for our normal dr that week... So she didn't recognize us and it took us forever to place her). Next time we are there I think I am going to say hi and introduce her to the baby she made. Lol At bedtime he was obsessed with a touchy-feely book. Hopefully he will sleep well because this lady is exhausted.

Today I signed up for a clothing subscription service. It seems frivolous, but my self-esteem has been shit lately. I gained some weight with the baby, but I wasn’t thin to begin with. Then, when we started doing Whole 30, my gallbladder started to have a freak out (seriously, worse than almost all of labor... I thought I was dying). You have to avoid losing weight quickly or it can flare up again (well, along with eating high fat, etc). I realize that so many women deal with this post baby, but it feels awful. 

Everything will get done, right?!?!

I have gotten so much advice over the last few months: don't co-sleep, crying sometimes just happens, attachment parenting leads to dependent kids, you spoil him (said in a half joking way of course due to our no crying policy at home), and the list goes on. But yesterday the daycare staff asked what I was doing right because he was so happy, only cried/fussed to get an eat/change/nap need met, and was one of the best new babies they had experienced... As a first time mom, I obviously got a huge confidence boost. I know he will have bad days, but it made me believe we could do this. Keep listening to your babies guys. It pays off.

I hate Texas heat and miss this boy.