I’m High As My Expectations

My mind is like an internet browser. 17 tabs are open, 4 of them are frozen and I don’t know where the music is coming from.

I think I’ve reblogged this 10 times in the past few days. I love it

(to the tune of uptown girl) uptown rat. he wears a very silly pointy hat

look I know the instructions were right there but you have no idea how much time I spent trying to sing this to the tune of uptown funk

this is what a generation of niggas raised on Spongebob looks like

I’m Crying!!!!

Wisest words of this century

This is the realist shit ever spoke

i dropped off my resume at this place at 1:15 and got called for an interview at 1:45 holy dang

I love genuinely innocent “boys will be boys.” Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans they’d left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going “YOOOOOOOOOO”

I heard grunting outside my window the other night and there were four boys struggling to push this giant snowball (like 7 foot diameter) down the sidewalk.

This is so my favorite Thor movie

that “oh shit” line is my absolute favorite moment in the history of Thor movies

Why does this fucking movie read like a god damn crack video but ITS ALL CANON AND REAL WTF MR WAITITI

if i got to ask a genie for a wish i wouldn’t just ask for money i would specifically ask for all of jeff bezos’ money and then use all his money to do all the things people keep saying jeff bezos could do with his money

Do you read :D as an open-mouthed smile or a smile with teeth?

thoroughly satisfied