mmushrooms.

6-year-old son: “Sometimes I just don’t want to be pushed. It hurts and is mean. And the girls always pretend to be princesses or fun animals and stuff when they have tea parties. The boys just dump the tea all over the place. That’s just stupid and I don’t like wasting all that tea. It takes forever to make.”

Me: “Wow, I can understand why you’d rather play with the girls. The boys seem like they’re kind of rough.”

6-year-old son: “And when I play with the girls they make me the king because none of the other boys want to play tea party.”

Me: “Do you like being the king?”

tea is an excellent way to incorporate green witchcraft and herbal magick into your daily life. here is a list of the magickal properties of different teas.

☾ black teas: the teas of winter. known to bring excitement, courage, and financial fortune.

    ♱ english breakfast: warmth, happiness, and courage

    ♱ irish breakfast tea: energy, strength, and willpower

    ♱ earl grey: the best tea for attracting money and fortune

    ♱ chai: love, prosperity, happiness, and healing

☾ white teas: the teas of spring, and the sun. known to heal and cleanse the drinker, as well as enhance spiritual communication and psychic energy.

    ♱ silver needle: purification, cleansing and healing

    ♱ white peony: protection against mischief and ill will

☾ green teas: the teas of summer. known for its powers of health, longevity, love and passion.

    ♱ sencha: prosperity, physical healing, mental strength

    ♱ matcha: love, passion and lust

    ♱ hojicha: banishing negativity, self-love, and health

    ♱ jasmine: spiritual love, energy charging

☾ oolong teas: the teas of autumn. known to inspire love, serenity, reflection, and balance.

    ♱ iron goddess: clarity of mind and heart

    ♱ osmanthus: transformation, harmony and serenity

☾ herbal teas: mixtures of herbs across all the seasons, with varying magickal properties.

    ♱ chamomile tea: love, healing, reducing stress

    ♱ peppermint: sleep, prophetic dreams, clearing negative energy

    ♱ lemon ginger tea: openness, cleansing, adventure

    ♱ dandelion root: divination, wishes, calling spirits

    ♱ fennel: vitality, banishing, energy

    ♱ ginseng: love, beauty, protection

    ♱ hibiscus: love lust, dreams

This is a list of animals, and some of their metaphysical properties. This is not an all-encompassing list, and only has a good amount of the more basic animals.

Alligator: Maternal, Survival Instincts, Ancient Wisdom, Bravery, Resilience, Stealth, Strength, Power

Ant: Group Minded, Determination, Patient, Active, Industrious, Community, Strength, Cooperation, Diligence, Loyalty, Perseverance Anteater: Curiosity, Nosiness, Action, Awareness, Perception, Intuition

Antelope: Active, Action, Agile, Adaptability, Awareness, Communication, Survival

Vigilance, Mental Clarity, Movement

Armadillo: Protection, Empathy, Grounding, Boundaries Badger: Assertiveness, Confidence, Courage, Independence, Determination, Self-reliance, Persistence, Strategy Bat: Rebirth, Longevity, Secrecy, Initiation, Illusion, Dreams, Intuition, Initiation, Journeying, Inner depth, Communication, Vision, Transition, Understanding grief, Invisibility, Fear, Shape-shifting, Transformation, Psychic Power, Astral Travel Bear: Industrious, Instinctive, Healing, Power, Sovereignty, Courage, Will Power, Self-preservation, Introspection, Boundaries, Creativity, Motherhood, Confidence, Nurturance, Protection, Strength Beaver: Determined, Strong-willed, Builder, Overseer, Protector, Teamwork Bee: Organized, Productive, Wise, Community, Fertility, Defensiveness, Dedication, Success, Obsessive nature, Protection, Nurturing Boar: Strength, Wealth, Prosperity, Growth, Protection, Wildness,Vitality, Self-reliant Bull: Strength, Fertility, Vigour, Determination, Persistence, Vitality, fertility Pig: Prosperity, Abundance, Good luck Buffalo: Sacredness, Blessing, Life, Strength, Abundance, Gratitude, Community, Manifestation Butterfly: Metamorphosis, Transformation, Balance, Grace, Spirit Work, Expression, Creativity, Peace, Joy, Cycles Camel: Survival, Endurance, Patience, Durability, Vitality, Adaptability, Obedience, Stability, Replenishment

Anyway, my supervisor and I worked hard to make sure every customer was happy. And we were succeeding! We had a perfect 5 star rating on Yelp! It was amazing! Then one day we got a 1 Star Rating on our Yelp Page. Someone from Pennsylvania left a nasty review on our site. It was scathing. 

Now, that’s not something that’s too far out of the realm of possibility for my job. While I sold mattresses in a brick and mortar, we also sold mattresses via Amazon and our online store and people from all over the country purchased mattresses from us. But I digress. The reason this is important is, well, where it gets dicey for Yelp.  Because sure enough, Yelp sent us an email telling us that if we paid some fee they would push all the bad reviews off the site. They were extorting money out of us!

And here’s where it gets really interesting. My supervisor contacted the customer to see if there was anything we could do to make them happy with their purchase, so they can change their review. But the customer in question had literally never heard of our company and obviously never purchased anything from us.

Yelp literally committed fraud, and it was only when we threatened to sue that they took the fraudulent review off of our page.