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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@incorrectwolfboy
At the Doctorās Office
Michael: I think I need anxiety medication. Iāve been having panic attacks in and out of the shower.
Samael: Doc, the other day I swallowed a spider by accident. Then I swallowed like nine on purpose.
Azrael: I can see the ādead zoneā.
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Leviathan: I can't find my shorts!
Drekavac: Looks like weāre one short short!
Gadreāel and Thammuz: laughing
Leviathan: DONāT! NOBODY LAUGH! DONāT ENCOURAGE HIM!
Leviathan: Your brotherā¦ has done time.
Michael: What for?
Leviathan: No one knows for sure. He changes the story every time you ask him.
Azrael: I created such a massive fraud that I nearly wiped out all of Altum.
Azrael: I destroyed the second largest Aeternum army using only a belt buckle.
Azrael: I created a Vortex Rift in the mists over Radicalopolis.
Azrael: I killed the angel that killed Faunaā¦ with this spear.
Leviathan: Then he ran weapons for the resistance.
Michael: Which resistance?
Leviathan: He wonāt say. But he does say they didnāt win because he was working against them for the other resistance, whose name he also won't say.
Thammuz: says anything
Leviathan: Snake noise.
Gadreāel: ā¦did heā¦?
Drekavac: Did he justā¦?
Beelzebub: really long heavy sigh
Beelzebub: Lev, did you just say āsnake noiseā?
Leviathan: Of course not.
Asmodai: I canāt take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Astaroth: In a dating type of way or assassination type of way?
Asmodai: I donāt know. Surprise me.
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Lucifer: Bubsy, just wear the birthday hat. This is your party.
Beelzebub: Iām not wearing the hat, Luci.
Baby Leviathan, running in: Daddy! I brought you something for your birthday!
An hour later
Beelzebub: wearing three party hats, has rainbow magnets all over his arm, has streamers braided into his hair
Beelzebub: Not a word, Lucifer.
Lucifer: Levi, Azrael would throw himself in front of a moving battleship for you.
Leviathan: I know, daddy. But really, Azzy would throw himself in front of a ship just for fun.
Azrael: I go by many names. Azrael, the Perfect Entity, Supreme Beingā¦
Drekavac: Do they include āCrazy Mutant Angel with Gunsā?
Azrael: Yeah! Thatās one of my favorites, actually.
Baphomet: I need to get something off my chest.
Eblis: Is it your shirt? Please say yes.
The Royal Family, playing Scrabble.
Michael: Iāll put my āAā down to make āAā.
Samael: Iāll add onto your āAā to make āATā.
Fauna: Iāll add onto your āATā to make āRATā.
Azrael: Iāll add onto your āRATā to make āBIOSTRATIGRAPHICā.
Murphy: flips the board
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Beelzebub: Nothing in life is free.
Thammuz: Life is free.
Gadreāel: Adventure is free.
Drekavac: Knowledge is free.
Leviathan: Everything is free if you run fast enough.
Gadreāel: No one has a crush on me.
Gadreāel: I am too strong to be crushed.
Samael: Weāre gonna disappoint our mothers today.
Michael: Levi, would you do me the honor of becoming my brother-in-law?
Leviathan:
Azrael:
Azrael: Did you just propose to him for me?
Michael: Well someone had to do it!
Fauna: Killing people will not bring you peace.
Azrael: Peace was never an option.
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Leviathan: Reminder that youāre one day closer to finding your soulmate.
Thammuz: And hopefully my grave.
Leviathan: I wish I could block people in real life.
Gadreāel: A restraining order.
Azrael: Murder.