Incorrect Umbrella Academy

Diego: Hold up let me ask my mom

Reaper: It’s not a choice-

Klaus: Well my name is ‘Klaus’ with a ‘b’ and I’ve been afraid of insects my entire-

Dave: Stop, stop, stop. Where?

Klaus: Where what?

Dave: Where’s the ‘b’?

Howie: Tell us about yourself, Klaus.

Klaus: I’m a recovering drug addict and I lost my boyfriend in the Vietnam War and my dad mentally abused me as a child.

Howie: Wow, you’re so brave. What’s your talent?

Vanya: It was probably me.

Cha Cha: We have ways of making people talk.

[Hazel cuts a piece of cake]

Klaus: Can I have some?

Klaus: The color of the calmest ocean after a brutal storm. A clear sky after a hurricane.

Dave: What?

Five: How did you lose Vanya?

Klaus: I’m getting dressed.

Vanya: Why?

Cha Cha: Did she just call you Paul?

Hazel: Yeah, she thinks that’s my name.

Cha Cha: Well why don’t you correct her?

Hazel: Oh it’s gone on way too long now. The first time she said it was just in passing so I didn’t say anything. And the next time she said, ‘Hey Paul, want a donut?’ And, well, I wanted a donut.

Cha Cha: ...