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I've seen a few takes on the eye-marriage obkk thing where the Uchiha tell Obito he must marry Kakashi. But really, the Uchiha and Konoha in general are set on maintaining a heteronormative society (tho it wouldn't be for long with Minato, Tsunade, Kakashi or Naruto as Hokage), which makes sense with the clan's focus on heirs and genetics, especially those with kekkei genkai.

So picture this: Obito, annoyed at the Uchiha pestering him about Kakashi's sharingan, escapes those conversations by basically breaking Fugaku's brain. Of course Obito is a dumbass and didn't check to see that he had indeed developed feelings for Kakashi and now has to actually try to convince Fugaku to let him marry him.

Minato always knew about Obito's plan but he also perfectly predicted that Obito would fall for Kakashi.

yo who keeps pissing her off

That is what his mom tells him, at least, that to prevent the Senju from fighting a battle on two fronts and the Hatake from losing any more members of their dwindling clan they agreed to marry the two eldest of the clans together.

Except that Tobirama’s parents have a habit of being downright mean and argumentative when in the same room, only to then turn around tell their children how much they admire and respect each other, not only as spouses but as warriors.

Tobirama, ever the inquisitive one, asks his mom how she can respect dad if they can never be in the same room without arguing?

Her answer consists of a long winded explanation that basically says they speak with swords and actions, then words - that when they argue or spar, especially back when their clans were tempting each other into fights at their borders, that they were getting to know the other and it’s why, despite it being an arranged marriage, she loves her husband and finds him worthy of her hand and their children.

Little Tobirama takes all this in and comes to the logical conclusion that fighting the Uchiha must be a mating ritual of sorts and that the fight continues because no one has found a compatible match yet.

Izuna approached Tobirama and offered to let bygones be bygones aiming to get him to lower his guard and dispose of him/humiliate him/steal Senju secrets (or whatever he's bored) and Tobirama Knows it.

Tobirama: Izuna's goal every time we interact is to kill me. This is no different. But I can't reject him without jeopardizing our relationship with the Uchiha.

So they become "friends" and, after the second get together that Tobirama insisted took place on a VERY public location, Izuna realizes Tobirama is onto him. But he won't come clean, because that'll mean he'd lose, and he'd very much rather chew on his own eyeballs than concede a victory to Tobirama, so he goes full on Fake Bitch and tries to trick him into actually liking him.

Tobirama tries to avoid him afterwards because suddenly Izuna became more insufferable than usual but Hashirama is like noooo, you were making friends! Don't ghost your friend! Tobirama he might start thinking you hate him!

Tobirama does hate him, anija.

Madara thinks Izuna is in love with Tobirama because he suddenly got VERY intense about him, more than usual, and he's like no you can do so much better please. He goes to Hashirama and Hashi is fucking thrilled because they could unite their families, a marriage to settle our alliance. Let me ask Tobirama what he thinks about it.

And Tobirama thinks is a great fucking idea actually. There's no way Izuna will keep this up if there's marriage on the horizon.

He's wrong. Izuna DOES keep it up, and after he sees Tobirama's little smug smile thinking he played him, he gets so angry he starts laughing like a maniac. Sharingan activated and all. Once his deranged laugher dies down he smiles "oh I'm so happy, I'm the happiest man alive!"

Now they're engaged and both fucking panicking.

The thing is, Tobirama is a controlling little freak, so even if he DOESN'T want to do this, he takes control over wedding planning and becomes insufferable in turn, tracking Izuna down to berate him because he needs to do his part as well! This is a very sensitive political affair and it cannot go wrong and Izuna I'm a sensor I know you're inside that well, come out you're gonna dirty the water.

Izuna starts to believe he was successful in his plan and now Tobirama thinks Izuna is in love with him for real and that's the worst thing ever.

Tobirama starts to believe Izuna actually meant the initial friendship overtures but after Tobirama's constant avoidance he accepted the wedding to punish him and this might be Tobirama's fault actually.

They tell nobody about what's going on.

On the wedding day Izuna breaks and hisses "I poisoned the wine!" Which is a lie, and Tobirama knows it, and he slumps in relief because that means Izuna does not want to do this. Alas, Tobirama planned this wedding for weeks with little to no sleep and invited a lot of very important people. He's NOT letting Izuna ruin all his hard work, so he drinks anyway and says "no you didn't" Izuna's eye twitch and drinks as well and now they're married.

Tobirama invents divorce a week later but they still keep on being roommates because it'd be humiliating if the other got the house in the divorce. They keep playing the friend chicken game for years to come, and build a life around the other. Izuna because eventually he starts to like Tobirama and decided to be merciful and never tell him about how this started so he could... He doesn't even remember what, kill him? Expose his fake ass? Unimportant (he still thinks Tobirama thinks Izuna meant to become friends at the beginning). Tobirama is like, I'm doing the world a favor by keeping him contained and also after so long Izuna's presence doesn't feel intrusive anymore and it's somewhat enjoyable (he likes him as well but he's never had a friend before)

Since Tobirama has no clue how normal friendships work, he follows Izuna's lead. Thing is, Izuna's naturally inclined to match anybody's freak so they actually end up following Tobirama's lead on it. And it gets. Weird.

Tobirama: hey if in tomorrow's mission you come across some enemies can you bring me a couple alive. I have a new idea I want to try

Izuna: no problem. Any specifics?

Tobirama: an earth affinity would be optimal. But if not, anything is fine.

Izuna: you got it.

Hashirama, Mito & Madara, who were having dinner with them:...

Izuna: hey when I die bring me back so I can kill whoever killed me.

Tobirama: if

Izuna: what

Tobirama: If you die. I'm about to reach a breakthrough on immortalily. You'll die when I let you.

Izuna is very touched.

Just saw this and maybe I'm crazy but I can just perfectly imagine this being Tobirama and Izuna.

Pre-village (that Izuna is obviously part of because he never died and he never will as far as I'm concerned) Tobirama and Izuna run into each other while on the run from someone (I can't think of who right now) so they're both taking shelter in the same cave trying to stay hidden and Izuna offers to take night watch but Tobirama says 'I might as well. I think I might have narcolepsy.’

Izuna is instantly skeeved out. But also insanely curious what taking the night watch has to do with having the hots for dead people. Unfortunately he really has no choice but to trust that Tobirama won't kill him in his sleep and do unthinkable things, if only so that if they come across the (random villains) again they have a chance at surviving the overwhelming numbers.

Anyway years go on Izuna never lets it go, big part of the reason he doesn't want peace. He's just too creeped out by Tobirama. They finally have peace talks and Izuna just straight up asks 'do you still fancy dead people?’

Everyone stares at him in shock. No one knows what to say. The entire table is silent.

'What?' Is all Tobirama can say.

Izuna goes on to explain their conversation and Tobirama just face palms and says 'narcolepsy, narcolepsy you idiot. You seriously thought I said necrophilia??? And then you stayed in that cave for 2 days after that? I would have gone running. But to answer the question you should have been asking. No I don't. I think it was just a bad reaction to the food pills I was trying to develop.'

Everyone is still silent. Just watching them.

Izuna let's add a huge breath of air and says, 'that has been bothering me for years. I always wondered how that big tree of a brother of yours would just let that go on.’

Madara shoots him a look ' Wait is this why you kept insisting that the Senju couldn't be trusted??’

And then they all together discovered that the entire reason that Izuna was so against peace was because of a misunderstanding 5+ years ago. He'd agreed with Madara for years that it would be better for their people, but he just couldn't trust that they weren't all creeps.

Tobirama is worried about consummation of their wedding, but Hashirama assures her that 'it's onky politicsl marriage, Izuna hates the Senju so much they probably won't even sleep in the same room'.

And he's right. Izuna does hate Tobirama, but that only fuels her scheming. When she notices how her new husband avoids physical contact being the little shit that she is, she decides to demand a child (not the most unreasonable thing she could ask for, since they are married).

Another day annoying Tobirama she barges into the bathroom (since the won't be needing clothes for the activities she wants anyway) where her husband is rebandaging her very not masculine chest. Izuna proptly blue screens.

Also, a drawing