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Brian: This time be like Brian.

Two things I wanna make clear to everybody in this room: Never betray me, and it’s time to go.

Well then, get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know - take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum. I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together.

Brian: Rebecca, can you help me with my training?

I’ll tell you how I feel about school. It’s a waste of time. Bunch of people runnin’ around bumpin’ into each other, got a guy up front says, ‘2 + 2,’ and the people in the back say, ‘4.’

You appear to be dying. I will make efforts to prevent this, but can promise nothing.

Brian: Rebecca, if we're gonna survive tonight, you're gonna need to harness your repressed rage.

Brian: So, I’m going to grab a healthy breakfast.

Brian: Boyle.

Brian: He's reading it! He's reading it!

Oh, let me introduce myself. I’m the problem.

Boyle: Are you really qualified to give romantic advice? You’re not exactly the king of mature relationships.

Brian: The thing that freaks me out about having a kid is, you could get one and it could be shit. It could be a douche, and then you have to spend the next eighteen years pretending to love it.

Boyle: We need to just learn to hate each other in silence.

Brian: Eyes closed, head first, can't lose.

I can never really trust when someone that good-looking is into me. When it’s somebody mediocre looking, I can appreciate why their standards are so low, but when they’re that pretty I’m just like, uh, what are you hiding?

Brian: It's so beautiful out here.