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@incorrect-vampire-stuff
Welcome, Motherfuckers
I felt like I needed an intro post
Whatās up peopleā Iām Julian (she/he)
Iām a minor, so leave as needed.
This blog will have incorrect quotes, obviously. Here are my tags:
#tvc incorrect quotes - my typical incorrect quotes
#iwtv incorrect quotes - the old version of the above(replaced by #tvc incorrect quotes as of May 9)
#not a quote - donāt think too hard about this one
#pretend theyāre humans - human AU
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[Lestat, Louis, and Maharet walking into a party]
Some guy: Oh, what a pretty lady!
Maharet: Thank you.
Some guy: So which one of you gentlemen would be third wheeling?
Maharet: That would be the pretty lady.
Armand: Iāve recently discovered that Daniel lacks self preservation skills. I believe it is because of the cocaine.
Marius: Cocaine canāt do that much damage to a human.
Armand: Yes it can. Watch.
Armand: Daniel! I wish to race with you to the floor level of this building!
Daniel: What. *looks around frantically*
Daniel: *throws himself out the window*
Gabrielle: Iāll pay.
Mekare: No, me.
Mekare: *taps card first*
[card declines]
Gabrielle: HA! *taps card*
[card also declines]
Louis: Lestat, Marius isnāt coming out of his room.
Lestat: Just tell him I said something.
Louis: Like what?
Lestat: Anything factually incorrect.
[later]
Marius: Lestat, did you just say the Sun is a fucking planetā
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Mekare: Youāre weirdly obsessed with finding meaning for everything.
Akasha: Whatās that supposed to mean?
Lestat: Alright, listen up folks. We have a situation here. From now on, we're using codenames. You may address me as āEagle Oneā.
Armandās codename is āBeen There
Done Thatā.
Louis is āCurrently Doing
Thatā.
Pandora is āIt Happened Once in a Dreamā.
Danielās codename is āIf I had to pick a Fledglingā.
And Marius isā¦ āEagle Twoā
Marius: Oh, thank the gods.
Mael: You are never alone if there are trees.
Lestat: ā¦I donāt know if that was meant to be reassuring or a warning.
Mael: That is entirely up to the trees.
Marius: Where were you and Lestat?
Gabrielle: Kissing, probably.
Louis: Wh-what? No!
Gabrielle: You have his lipstick all over your face.
Louis:
Louis: We wear the same shade?
Armand the IPad kid would laugh at this
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Lestat, pretending to be angry: That's it, Louis! I'm going to divorce you!
Louis, confused: Divorce? But we're not even married yet!
Lestat: Wellā¦ I guess we have to
get married now.
[Two months after the wedding]
Louis, with an amused smile on his face: So I remember you mentioned something about a divo-
Lestat, clinging to him on the couch: This was all an evil trap to get you to marry me, Louis. Now you'll never get rid of me.
Louis, kissing his husband's forehead: You're such an evil vampire, mon cher.
Louis: Lestat, I need to tell you something.
Lestat: What, youāve come to confess your undying love and admiration for me?
Louis: Yes.
Lestat, panicking: whAT
Louis: So I wrote a novel.
Lestat: Oh, may I read it?
Louis: Um. Sure.
[later]
Lestat: Louis this is a dark romance between two vampires do you want to tell me something
Lestat: I was attracted to you first.
Louis: Well I asked you out first.
Lestat: Well, I said I love you first.
Louis, getting down on one knee: Well, I proposed first.
Lestat: Well, Iā WAIT WHAT
Daniel: Lestat, are you free on Friday? Around eight?
Lestat: Yeah.
Armand: And you, Louis?
Louis: Uhā¦ yeah?
Daniel: Great! Because weāre not. Enjoy your date!
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Marius: Lestat, I need to speak with you. In private.
Lestat: Ooh, somebodyās in trouble~
Lestat: Itās me, I donāt know why I did that.
Lestat: *wearing a cool outfit*
Louis: I wish I could pull that off.
Lestat: You can.
Louis: what
Lestat: what