D’Artagnan: Constance is so much better at crosswords than me that I worry she loves me like a dog

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@incorrect-musketeers
D’Artagnan: Constance is so much better at crosswords than me that I worry she loves me like a dog

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manipulate, mansplain, manwhore, mistreat, manslaughter, musketeer <3
Milady de Winter in The Musketeers, 2.10- Trial and Punishment.
Let’s not forget to acknowledge Alexandre Dumas this Black History Month
The writer of two of the most well known stories worldwide, The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo was a black man.Â
That’s excellence.
Let’s not forget that he was played on screen by a white man. And the fact that he was black is barely ever mentioned or the book he wrote inspired by his experiences.
Other things not to forget about Alexandre Dumas:
chose to take on his slave grandmother’s last name, Dumas, like his father did before him.
grew up too poor for formal education, so was largely self-taught, including becoming a prolific reader, multilingual, well-travelled, and a foodie, resulting in his writing both a combination encyclopedia/cookbook (which just— is fucking outrageous to me) AND the adaptation of The Nutcracker on which Tchaikovsky based his ballet
he also wrote a LOOOOT of nonfiction and fiction about history, politics, and revolution, bc he was pro-monarchy, but a radical cuss, and that got him in a lot of hot water at home and abroad.
even beyond that, he generally put up with a lot of racist bullshit in France, so he went and wrote a novel about colonialism and a BLATANTLY self-insert anti-slavery vigilante hero (which he then cribbed from to write the Count of Monte Cristo, the main character of which, Edmond Dantés, Dumas also based on himself).
(…a novel which also features a LOAD of PoC beyond the Count, and at LEAST one queer character, btw, bc EVERY MOVIE ADAPTATION OF ANYTHING BY DUMAS IS A LIE; seriously, at LEAST one of the four Musketeers is Black, y'all.)
famously, when some fuckshit or other wanted to come at Dumas with some anti-Black foolishness, Dumas replied, “My father was a mulatto, my grandfather was a Negro, and my great-grandfather a monkey. You see, Sir, my family starts where yours ends.”
for the bicentennial of his birthday, Pres. Jacques Cirac was like, “…sorry about the hella racism,” and had Dumas’s ashes reinterred at the Panthéon of Paris, bc if you’re gonna keep the corpses of the cream of the crop all together, Dumas’s more widely read and translated than literally everybody else.
and they are still finding stuff old dude wrote, seriously; like discovering “lost” works as recently as 2002, publishing stuff for the first time as recently as 2005.
ALSO IMPORTANT:
SWAG
I am absolutely ashamed to admit I had NO idea Dumas was black.
when this post first went around (a year ago apparently) I was like BUT WHAT ABOUT DADDY DUMAS THOUGHÂ because basically
daddy general dumas was an immense fierce french warrior who was a 6 foot plus, stunningly gorgeous and charismatic Black gentlemanÂ
he invaded egypt
the native egyptians said “is this napoleon? this must be napoleon. we for one welcome our majestic new overlord”
then napoleon showed up
napoleon has all the presence of yesterday’s plain Tesco hummus
the native egyptians were like “… no… no, we’ve thought very hard and we’ll have General Dumas actually”
this did not make napoleon happy
in fact it made him jealous
napoleon felt so emasculated that he launched a campaign of revenge against General Dumas, including taking away his pension, that probably inspired a lot of Alexandre’s rather satisfying scenes in which fathers are nobly avenged and the money-grubbing villains are rubbed in the mud
I was never taught that he was Black either. WTF.
General Dumas (aka Thomas Alexandre Davy de La Pailleterie) looked like this…
…and like this…
…while “Napoleon has all the presence of yesterday’s plain Tesco hummus“…
:-D
I suspect Alexandre Dumas would have laughed at that, because besides looking like someone who laughed a lot…
…he was also a foodie.
He was also born in present-day Haiti. Back then, it was the French colony of Saint-Domingue.
General Dumas was also the highest ranking officer of African descent to have command of a European army. EVER.Â
His stuff is in the public domain, you can find them on Project Gutenberg here:
Project Gutenberg offers 73,007 free eBooks for Kindle, iPad, Nook, Android, and iPhone.
And for those of you who would like to try audio versions, this is what is on LibriVox, the free, volunteer run audiobook version of Project Gutenberg:
LibriVox
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In the past few years, she has suffered a lot, surviving human trafficking and physical abuse. She and her household have managed to escape but the abuse has left her severely debilitated and she has been hospitalized multiple times and had very close brushes with death. I can vouch for this donation page, it would be great if you could make a small contribution or share it, as Caihua is very dear to us ❤️ Thank you
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Athos - The Musketeers
Constance: When people say
“Girl Help” the girl they are talking to. Is god.
Athos: I can’t take Benadryl anymore because I owe the hatman money and I don’t want to see him
D’Artagnan: I almost died making poptarts
Constance: Just another reason I love you
D’Artagnan: My forehead is bleeding
Milady: I know a guy who can get sodium cyanide if you absolutely require it
Anne: Literally I don’t but thanks

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Porthos: You can be positive AND break a bottle over someone’s head though
Porthos: Multiplicity of identity
Please help me pay for my Cat’s dental surgery! I know times are hard for eve… Kaz MZ needs your support for Please help me pay for my Ca
I know times are hard for everyone right now, but please please help me pay for my cat’s surgery, it costs more than I make in an entire month and I’m so scared I’ll have to give him up
he’s literally the only thing that gets me through the day most days
Please please help a queer woman suffering from OCD pay for her cat’s dental surgery
I’m literally begging you
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Cardinal Richelieu
Please help me pay for my Cat’s dental surgery! I know times are hard for eve… Kaz MZ needs your support for Please help me pay for my Ca
I know times are hard for everyone right now, but please please help me pay for my cat’s surgery, it costs more than I make in an entire month and I’m so scared I’ll have to give him up
he’s literally the only thing that gets me through the day most days
Please please help a queer woman suffering from OCD pay for her cat’s dental surgery
I’m literally begging you
$0/2,800
We’re off to a strong start! Thank you to everyone who’s donated so far
As incentive I’m bribing you all with pictures of Mr Tanner
part of the thing that makes d’artagnan so cute is that he always has the most open expression like he has these big wide brown eyes and his face always shows what he’s feeling he’s not like athos who always has a stone face he always wears his emotions freely especially when he’s anywhere within the vicinity of constance like she could not even be talking to him but d’artagnan will still be standing there staring wistfully at her with what feels like cartoon heart eyes he’s so painfully sincere it makes me sick

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Please help me pay for my Cat’s dental surgery! I know times are hard for eve… Kaz MZ needs your support for Please help me pay for my Ca
I know times are hard for everyone right now, but please please help me pay for my cat’s surgery, it costs more than I make in an entire month and I’m so scared I’ll have to give him up
he’s literally the only thing that gets me through the day most days
Please please help a queer woman suffering from OCD pay for her cat’s dental surgery
I’m literally begging you
$0/2,800
We’re off to a strong start! Thank you to everyone who’s donated so far
As incentive I’m bribing you all with pictures of Mr Tanner
Please help me pay for my Cat’s dental surgery! I know times are hard for eve… Kaz MZ needs your support for Please help me pay for my Ca
I know times are hard for everyone right now, but please please help me pay for my cat’s surgery, it costs more than I make in an entire month and I’m so scared I’ll have to give him up
he’s literally the only thing that gets me through the day most days
Please please help a queer woman suffering from OCD pay for her cat’s dental surgery
I’m literally begging you
$0/2,800