Constantine: I can't mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one, boys. Constantine: Manslaughter it is.
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@incorrect-magisterium-quotes
Constantine: I can't mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one, boys. Constantine: Manslaughter it is.

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Tamara: I’m ambidextrous.
Call: And we support you no matter what.
Call: Hey, Tamara?
Tamara: Yes?
Call: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Tamara:
Tamara: Call, where’s Jasper?
Constantine: I am literally an evil incarnate.
Constantine: I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil.
Constantine: Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort.
Alastair: There will come a moment when you will have a chance to do the right thing.
Constantine: I love those moments. I love to wave at them when they pass by.
THANK YOU

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Alastair: There will come a moment when you will have a chance to do the right thing.
Constantine: I love those moments. I love to wave at them when they pass by.
Axel: I’m a little scared of Tamara.
Call: Tamara wouldn’t hurt a fly!
Axel: Oh, good.
Call: She would kill a man, though.
Tamara, teaching Call how to drive: Okay, you're driving and Aaron and Jasper walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Call: Oh, definitely Jasper. I could never hurt Aaron.
Tamara, massaging her temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.
Rufus: Yesterday I overheard Aaron saying "are you sure this is a good idea?" and Call replying "trust me" and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.
Call: What happens if I blend spaghetti?
Tamara: Do that and I blend YOU.

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Cop: I’m giving you this ticket for having three people on a motorcycle.
Call: Shit.
Tamara: Wait…three?
Cop: Yes…?
Aaron: Oh my God, Jasper fell off!
Call: Hold on, I’m having one of those headaches again. The one with pictures.
Tamara: What?
Aaron: Idea. He’s having an idea.
Jericho: Remember when you didn’t solve all of your problems with murder?
Constantine: Stop romanticizing the past.
Kimiya to Alex: This is not you. You’re not a murderer!
Tamara: He just killed Aaron!
Kimiya: I know but I’m saying like…deep down.
Call: We need to get through this locked door. Tamara, give me your credit card.
Tamara: Here.
Call, pocketing it: Thanks. Aaron, kick down the door.

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Constantine: Ooh, look at me! I’m Jericho, and I fold my clothes before putting them away!” I bet you chew your food before you swallow it, too.
Jericho: Well, yeah...
Constantine: Pathetic.
Constantine: Get into the Halloween spirit and make a ghost!
Alastair: That's called murder and I heard somewhere that it was illegal.