"Incorrect" HashiMada

Madara: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Hashirama. I just think he's cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him.

[Later that night]

Tobirama, holding up Hashirama's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation on here.

Hashirama: No, you got it all wrong.

Hashirama: That's our joint tomb stone.

Madara: Stop it. You're ruining my reputation.

Hashirama: Then get off my lap.

Tobirama, reluctantly: ...Get the emergency supply.

Touka: [carries in Madara and places him in front of Hashirama]

Madara:

Hashirama: Truth.

Mito: I dare you to go kiss Madara.

Hashirama, already getting up: Fine.

Hashirama: That's weird, I haven't seen Madara all day. Where did you see him?

Tobirama, eye twitching: Madara is not the only beautiful person in the world!

Tobirama: Oh yeah? Well, I sleep with my sword.

Madara: You're both pathetic.

Izuna: Why? What do you sleep with?

Mito: Oh, that's sweet. Madara, what did you think the first time you saw Hashirama?

Madara: [narrows eyes] You know other men..?

Obito: What the hell do you do then?

Hashirama: Wow, Madara, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!

Tobirama: Romance?

Hashirama: Ow, you kneed me!

Madara, sleepily: Yeah, I do need you...

Madara, frustrated: Fuck me.

Hashirama: [perks up]