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Mal: PSST! I KNOW WHO YOU LIKE!

Uma:

Uma: we are literally at my wedding

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Harry: i guess you could say that i've fallen for you *winks*

Uma: you just fell down seven flights of stairs, how are you even alive?

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CJ: i'm cold

Harriet:

Harriet: fine, you can have my jacket, but next time you ignore me telling you to bring one you get to freeze

Hadie: i'm cold too

Mal:

Mal: want me to set you on fire?

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*teacher asks for someone responsible to do a job*

Charlotte: i'm responsible, miss!

Mason: me too!

Julian: that's a lie

Mason: yes it is and i take full responsibility for that!

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Mason: *ties a knife to a random roomba and turns it on* be free my child!

Evie: *walks in with a cut on her ankle* WHO THE HELL-

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Mason: can i have a birthday cake?

Mal: it's not your birthday... i think...

Mason: shh the cake won't-

Mason: wait what do you mean "i think"?

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Evie: honestly, i don't know why i ever doubted Mal's ability to parent-

Mason: hey Aunt Evie! guess what!

Evie: what?

Mason: what if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave and her name was Mozarella?

Evie:

Evie: oh now i remember

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*Mason & Uriah Hook doing things they probably shouldn't*

Uriah: do you feel like this has gotten out of hand?

Mason: i don't know, feels perfectly normal for a duo that are on 911's blocked caller list

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Mal: *freaking out* i'm not ready to be a parent i can barely raise a spider nevermind kill a child-

Evie: are you sure you worded that correctly?

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Chad: *gets down on one knee*

Mal: oh my god it's finally happening!

Chad: *falls over*

Mal: the poison is starting to kick in!

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Mason: mom went to therapy today

Evie: oh god... how did it go?

Mason: her therapist had to call a therapist

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Mason: it's Monday. and you know what that means...

Ben: please no-

Mason: time to train 10,000 rats for the purpose of revenge!

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Ben: *to Mason* look son, violence is never the answer-

Mal: but it is a great option

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Hades: i don't remember raising you like this

Mal: i don't remember you raising me

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Uma: everyone quick they're coming! Pretend to be gardening, Harry grab that hoe-

Harry: *grabs Audrey*

Evie: i don't think that's what she meant

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Mason: *kicks door in*

Ben: what did you do this time?

Mason: ok so look it's not that bad nobody died-

Ben:

Ben: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

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Mal: please be careful

Mason: my middle name is "careful"

Mal: i gave you your middle name and it is most definitely not "careful"

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