Give me your teeth @incisorexcisor - Tumblr Blog

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fursonas

an erotic poem:

leg so hot

hot hot leg

leg so hot u fry an eg

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plain-flavoured-english

As a Greek, in response to the current controversy about Matt Damon being cast as Odysseus, I'd just like to share that one of the moments that changed my brain chemistry as a kid was reading a novelized version of the Odyssey and coming across the following description of Odysseus when Circe sees him for the first time and thinks he's hot: "his hair curled like a clematis and his eyes were very brown".

So may I present my own casting choice for Odysseus:

plain-flavoured-english

Excuse me???

plain-flavoured-english

#I do not know who this man is but yeah he looks like great odysseus material #(i'd say better than matt damon but that's putting the bar on the ground tbh)

I will also say that I think the problems with the movie's casting, costuming, and color grading are all related. Like, Nolan went with the Hollywood Viking aesthetic because he thought Odysseus would look silly in a slutty little bedsheet. And it's like, no, you don't understand: Matt Damon would look silly in a slutty little bedsheet. 40ish Jason Mantzoukas in a thigh-length, rust-colored chiton, olive limbs shining in the Mediterranean sun, would send male-attracted folks everywhere into the stratosphere.

sneefsnorf

im gods weakest faggot

crabussy

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

cedar-scars

im gods most literate cat can i join

the-problematic-trolley

I’m a straight up mob boss with a lioness for a pet, you’re all hired.

pinkfire-chacarera

my yellow rat and I find this really offensive and problematic

incisorexcisor

would any of you fine people care for a donut

A Haiku Hike through the Alphabet

Arrange your mask well

Align your eyes, teeth, and lips

And thus hide all else

Be bright and merry

Berate not the sun nor sky

Blessed is every day

Calling from behind

Come back, come back, oh maker

Cry your hopes and dreams

Dormant and passive

Dreams of yours sit and stagnate

Doomed to die, die, die

Eiders (cute sea ducks)

Exude peace, joy, and delight

Evil can’t withstand

Find me company

Finer, though I doubt you could

For there’s none better

Giraffes are too tall

Gulls must crash into their heads

God, what lanky freaks

Hide your feet from him.

He hunts. He scouts. O he scours

Horror! He devours!

Imitation crab

Initiates self destruct

It hit the button

Jeff asked about you

Jokingly, I told him that

Jaguars ate you whole

Killing is simple

Kindness much more difficult

Kingdoms fall to both

Lend me your heart please

Love is something I must learn

Leave it in my chest

Monday came and went,

Moved through and left an email

Mo-mo-mo-monday?!

Now I consume time

Next, I shall eat the heavens

Never will I end

Ogle me you must

Over my form draw your eye

Oh me? I’m your code

Pull the string of fate

Pluck your future clothed in red

Plunder destiny

Quoth the fire within

Quench me now or else I’ll blaze

Quell your own brightness

“Revel” says the night

“Ride forth in a cloak of ink

Reaching for the stars”

Sanitation who?

Sludge is truly my passion

Sewer burst let’s go!

Trust the good in life

Terrible though it might be

Tremble not, my dear

Understand yourself

Upend your soul to search through

Until you find peace

Virtue is worthless

Vice runs unchecked through all

Victory for hell

Wander to wander

Wonder at all the wonders

Waxing poetic

Xylem is plant stuff

Xylophone is music stuff

X-men is nerd stuff

Yo this is poggers

Ya boi is making poems

*Yawn* this is easy

(Okay that last line is a lie, this is difficult difficult lemon difficult)

Zip your bag open

Zoom for a whole seven hours

Zone out completely

#An old poem I unearthed while looking for other stuff in my notes app #I was kinda cooking all those years ago #Not sure why each letter has such a different vibe #Text #poetry #My own tooth

crispysparkfinder

A runaway trolley is quickly approaching planet Earth, threatening to kill over 8 billion people. There is a lever that can be pulled to redirect the trolley. On the other track is a singular man. You are the trolley operator. Do you pull the lever?

But suppose the problem is not that simple. First, pulling the lever will most certainly kill the man but it will not guarantee the survival of Earth. In fact, the chance Earth will be saved is slim, and many of those 8 billion will die in the process. You are the trolley operator. Do you pull the lever?

It still isn’t that simple. The man tied to the other track isn’t tied down at all, in fact he does not know he is part of the dilemma. You will have to tie him down yourself. You are the trolley operator. Do you pull the lever?

But wait, there’s something you are forgetting. The man you must tie down and murder is your second in command, your best friend, your platonic soulmate. You love him. You know he will refuse to be the sacrifice. You watch as he begs and pleads for another way, betrayal in his eyes. He writhes as you give the command to sedate him, and prepare to tie him to the tracks. He goes limp, and you do not cry. He will hate you for the rest of his short life, and you will deserve it. Even so, you know you are doing the right thing.

You are Eva Stratt. You will pull the lever.

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bedupolker

It feels cool to be "in" on celebrity gossip before anyone else. I ran into Californian Condor V9 and looked her up on the condor lookup website. It says her current mate is dead and she has no kids but I saw her with a new man AND a juvenile.

taciturn-nerd

@bedupolker I hope you don't mind but I made a tabloid cover out of this

I used two more condor photos by Andrew Orr and Alam Clampitt from peregrinefund.org

Gotta use the skills I learned from making tabloids out of the Jane Austen novels somewhere right?

Great, now I feel like I'm bird shaming. Congrats V9 on your new family!

#birdposting #Now these are the tabloid covers I want to see

sometiktoksarevalid

#No doctor I don’t have any issues #I have systems

draconym

An ode to Regina (and ball pythons everywhere). Style inspired by the art of @muzinabu.

guy-named-finger

YET YOU’LL STILL HAVE TO EAT IT CUZ LIVE RATS WILL HURT YOU!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

#snek #bapy #very beautiful very powerful

infectiouspiss

violence and death and dying and blood and guts and gore and violence and viscera and fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

ospreyonthemoon

@markscherz do you know what type of frog this is? I can't tell if its a small adult or a baby frog.

markscherz

This is a juvenile Chacophrys pierottii, arguably the most comically proportioned frog ever. Here is an adult. If I had not taken this photo myself I would think it’s some kind of ridiculous meme render.

These are also the frogs that bury themselves in a backwards spiral that is seriously relatable.

#Got hit them with the classic ass-first downward spiral #very beautiful very powerful

orcboxer

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

arroscnleche

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

tracing-rivers

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

clockworkspider

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

orcboxer

y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me

#Gotta preserve this for future linguists :)

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xenosaurus

I think it was before I started posting story concepts on tumblr but I had an old concept called ‘apocalyptia’ which was a dark comedy about a world where every apocalypse movie premise happened simultaneously

xenosaurus

The big joke was that all these HUGE disasters cancelled each other out. A bunch of shit flooding kept the zombies contained. The super intelligent apes stopped global warming. The leather-clad motorcycle murder gangs intimidate the alien invaders.

xenosaurus

Everything sucks in like 8 overlapping ways but it’s just become the norm at this point. There’s a guy named Cannibal Jack that people trust to cook for them for some reason.

xenosaurus

The main character is a recluse with a shotgun who just wants to sit in her shack and give cynical advice to passing young people, but unfortunately, her younger brother and only surviving family member is a conman with his fingers in every stupid decision being made within a ten mile radius

xenosaurus

The brother’s name is Sal, which is short for SOMETHING but he changes his answer every time. He seems to think this qualifies as an alias, and bizarrely, it usually works. Notable ‘definitely Sal’s real name’ options include Salt, Salmon, Salamander, and Salad.

His sister’s name is Marian, occasionally called Misery Marian. It is a running joke that young characters think this is a reference to her bad attitude, but anyone who actually CALLS her that is clearly terrified of her for some unspecified reason.

xenosaurus

Sal’s got an on-again off-again business partner by the name of Kent Bardsley, who is just.... SO irresponsibly horny. Sal’s motivation is money, but Kent’s is sex. He keeps getting run out of town for sleeping with important people’s wives. He’s an idiot, but he’s not a conman like Sal, he just helps him with his schemes as an in to towns so he can visit his assortment of fuckbuddies.

The joke of Kent’s character is that the ‘apocalypse’ he’s part of is conservative scaremongering about sexual freedom destroying society. He gets a last name because while Sal calls him Kenny, Marian calls him ‘Bardsley’ with deep contempt.

xenosaurus

The fuck types of our characters so far:

Marian: fuck off

Sal: fuck you, pay me

Kent: fuck me

Cannibal Jack: what the fuck

xenosaurus

There’s an alien named Glipix who is investigating why the invasion failed and her analysis tends to boil down to ‘damn bitch you really live like this?’

Kent is really into her but his flirting goes right over her head. Marian’s the only one she respects anyways.

xenosaurus

Kent: Hey, you looking to get those eggs fertilized, beautiful?

Glipix: What pollinators are operating on this horrible planet? Did you see one? I need to speak with them if you did.

Kent: uh

xenosaurus

I have a mental image for a TV opening where it’s Marian at like. 12. watching some apocalypse happen through a window and saying “The world ended when I was a girl...” in a really serious tone, and then it pans out to show like 6 other apocalypses happening and her voice turns sarcastic and she says “about thirty fucking times, actually.”

xenosaurus

Alright here’s more content for you guys:

—Marian is 46 and spent her 20s and early 30s as a mad max style motorcycle gang member. ‘Misery Marian’ was her moniker while she was LEADING one of these gangs.

—Sal and Kent are somehow unaware of this.

—Sal’s apocalypse is capitalism. Also Godzilla.

—I’m not kidding about that, Sal and Marian’s parents were killed by a giant dinosaur that still sometimes shows up to bother Sal.

#writing #worldbuilding

mini-moss

Migration

Twitter | Instagram | Deviantart

#art #pixel art #Absolutely magical omg #dragons

tawghasa

Living in the wrong timezone to notice when the hellsite is down - just like old times 🥹

famouspainterwombat

niftyandinterestingstuff

Wait 'til you see what it is... cool!

vampirefabio

please.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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zetrystan

Technically true.

zetrystan

He got the job.

zetrystan

He takes his job seriously.

zetrystan

Prof Rad over on youtube dubbed the Wolf Hunter comic (click here)!

Go check it out and give them some support! :) (also the end killed me haha) ₍ᐢ•ﻌ•ᐢ₎

zetrystan

The farmer sheared the sheep, and it was used to make a gift for Wolf Hunter, so…

zetrystan

Wolf Hunter goes to the village markets.

zetrystan

Wolf Hunter and his conga line of sheep.

zetrystan

Wolf Hunter was looking for them for a while.

senso1954

this tiktok screenshot ruined my life i need to see the serbian pigeon movie so so badly but it doesn't exist it's so foul to make this bad of a point with something so cool and then take it away from me.

deseretgear

Tiktok marvel fans really will be out here like "movie fan SHOCKED because i'd rather watch superhero movie #54 in blue and not a sensual 1987 french horror film about a man discovering his wife may not exist set in what is gradually revealed to be a space station" as if you're supposed to agree that superhero movie #54 is the clear winner in this comparison

kirbymongerr

Love the idea of a story about a complex issue that's told from the perspective of something that cannot comprehend or care about the issue. The way the story would be sliced up and moments that a human would consider pointless would be focused on because the pigeon happened to be there would be hype as fuck

beardedmrbean

silken-scarves

Ok FINE I made the movie poster of it

Mališa, otherwise known as Little One, is a pet pigeon owned by a conservative butler of the Austro-Hungarian aristocracy. She is loved, and she is pampered— until her owner is murdered in cold blood, and she is left to fend for herself in Sarajevo.

In the wilds of the city, she feeds from the poor, working nationalist radicals, and the vieux riches alike.

To Mališa, there are no ethical concerns. No politics. No burgeoning nationalism.

There are only hands that feed her, and hands that do not.

defenestratedcowloftelesphorus

I LOVE YOU MALIŠA!

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