sensual desires

when u only know one lyric in a song so it plays in ur head like this

This is just what depression feels like

this is legit how it plays in my head

today i was talking to my coworker jess and she said to me “i’ve been trying to think of how to tell my husband that i want a horse. i’m really non confrontational and i don’t know how to tell him. like, thanks for the flowers, but i want a horse.” and i was like, “well, you could always send him subliminal messages. like tape pictures of horses all over the walls and stuff” and she gave me this really weird look and was like “i said divorce not horse“ oh my god…

classic material

#aparrently a forensics lab disposed a bag of hands improperly which like. how. how do you do that

don’t worry about it

Home schooled is two words. Were you home schooled?

thanks but i did in fact see the giant swiggly red line but made the determination that i am a trendsetter in the modern english language and can therefore do what i please when i please on my blogosphere

As a homeschooler with a 3.6 GPA ..this pisses me off.

if you would’ve helped your mom with the chores a bit more she would have bumped that up to 3.8

pls let him into the dryer

warm

john mulaney is a horrible person. wake up guys. stop reblogging posts about him. stop supporting him. he is a despicable person. seriously. he SAW what they were doing to tyler and he did nothing. tell me, how is he better than a nazi?

He 👏 was 👏 sitting 👏 on 👏 the 👏 bench 👏

still eating the same chocolate bar after all these years. thank you, tumblr…

imagine thinking you’re too woke to enjoy Brooklyn Nine Nine lmaoooo

by this i mean, imagine thinking that “I don’t watch it because it’s cop propaganda!!” is a more progressive stance than “I can watch and enjoy this genuinely very funny TV show that features a diverse cast in gender, ethnicity and sexuality, that doesn’t stoop to stereotypes and also tackles serious subject matters like police brutality, gun violence, systematic racism, homophobia and lgbt struggles and being a woman in a male dominated world and work force. I can simultaneously acknowledge that this show doesn’t depict actual police officers and my enjoyment of the show doesn’t in any way detract from my acknowledgement and anger towards the behaviours of too many real US police officers. And me laughing at Andy Samberg singing Backstreet Boys doesn’t make me any less capable of loathing officers that allow racial profiling to colour their behaviours and lead to the use of excessive force towards and the mass incarceration of poc. This is because my enjoyment of pop culture and my ability to critically analyse the world are not mutually exclusive and i have an understanding of nuance and context.”

Word of advice never try to karaoke Since U Been Gone…Kelly Clarkson is a soprano and she wanted the whole world to know it