STARSTRUCK !

JUST BECAUSE THEY SERVE YOU ... doesn't mean they like you.

MALLRATCOMICS : emmy's view askewniverse multimuse. feat. canon, canon - derivative, and original characters. SNOOGANS !

how does your muse get local news and updates on current events? are they up to date with all the latest goings-on or do they prefer to avoid it altogether?

did your muse grow up with any particular television shows? do they have a favorite, or a memory tied to these shows?

how much effort does your muse put into their costume for halloween parties and other dress-up events? do they have any go-to costumes?

does your muse stay up to date with the latest fashion trends? describe their style. where do they typically buy their clothes?

who was their first celebrity crush?

what would your muse's bio say if they were on a dating app?

what kind of phone does your muse have, and how customized is it? does it have a basic case or something more unique? is the screen cracked? do they have a popsocket or other accessories on it?

who was the one family member your muse always looked up to, if any?

if your muse drives a car, have they personalized it in any way (bumper stickers, things hanging from the rearview mirror, etc.)?

if given a choice between having a night in or spending the night out on the town, which would they most likely choose and why?

what are your muse's favorite scents, and what do they associate them with?

what kind of shopper is your muse? are they a slow, methodical shopper, a list-maker, or a grab the items and go kind of person? how long do they usually spend getting their groceries? how long do they spend clothes shopping? do they use changing rooms?

if something bad happens, who will your muse call first?

what social cause is your muse most passionate about and why?

if your muse was made into an action figure, what would their five catchphrases be?

what are your muse's biggest fears, and what caused them?

what's the one thing your muse constantly does and wishes they could stop doing?

does your muse know how to fight? describe their fighting style. if someone was threatening them and about to attack, how would they respond?

will your muse eat at fast food restaurants? if they're on a time crunch, what type of food will they grab?

did your muse's parents pass down any quirks or habits that your muse now does? what are they?

does you muse like road trips, or would they prefer to fly in a plane?

what are their thoughts on roadside attractions and tourist traps? when visiting new cities, do they prefer to see the most popular sites, or pretend to be a local and blend in?

what does your muse's bedroom look like? is it cluttered or clean? do they use the overhead lighting, or use lamps and other things to provide a better ambience? do they make their bed every morning or leave it unmade?

you think i'm afraid of you, you big fuck?

she's got a nice ass.

he used to beat the shit outta me in kindergarten.

how much money you got?

when i'm done with them, you're next.

don't you walk away from me.

hey, fuck you.

you got fired, huh?

i told you "no" yesterday!

i think i had a class with you.

do you have any thoughts of your own on the subject or were you just gonna plagiarize the whole book for me?

at least i won't be unoriginal.

my boy's wicked smart.

i've been sitting over there for forty-five minutes waiting for you to come talk to me.

maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?

maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels?

fuck do you want?

do you find it hard to hide the fact that you're gay?

it's not how hard you look at things, it's the way you look at them.

you're in a safe place.

i have better ways to spend my time.

i don't need therapy!

trust is an important thing.

is there someplace we can talk?

you just want to use me and go?

i'm gonna experiment on you for my anatomy class, then go.

want to see my magic trick?

i didn't see you at the reunion.

how long has it been since we've seen each other?

i really don't date that much.

you were thinking you were gonna get a good night kiss.

i was kinda hopin' to get a "good night laid".

i'll take a kiss.

this kid's special. i've never seen anything like him.

let the healing begin!

i'm not here for a fuckin' book report.

you paint this?

i think you're one step away from cutting your ear off.

maybe you married the wrong woman.

if you ever disrespect my wife again, i will end you.

nobody could possibly understand you, right [name]?

keep fuckin' with me. watch what happens.

there's only so many times you can bang your friend's future wife.

i have been laid, you know.

i went on a date last week.

i teach this shit, i didn't say i knew how to do it.

you ever think about gettin' remarried?

my wife's dead.

you ever wonder what your life would be like if you never met [name]?

you'll have your bad times, which wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to.

there's nothing worse than regret.

you should've seen this girl, she lit up the room.

sorry fellas, i gotta go see about a girl.

why do we always stay here?

if you're not thinking with your wiener, you're acting on its behalf.

put some clothes on!

i've never seen him like this before, ever, with anyone, like how he is with you.

the least you can do is show me a little appreciation.

if you're not in love with me, you can say that.

you're afraid that i won't love you back.

did you ever think that maybe i could help you?

do i have a sign that says "save me" on my back?

i just want to be with you. i love you.

i want to hear that you don't love me.

i don't love you.

i just wanted to call before you left.

i love you, [name]. no take-backs.

do you have a soulmate?

some shows are worth the price of admission.

in twenty years, if you're livin' next door to me, i'll fuckin' kill you.

you got somethin' that none of us have.

fuck you, you owe it to me.

if you're angry at me for being successful, for being what you could have been —

you think i'm a failure!

i'm proud of who i am!

i don't blame you!

i won't see you make him feel like a failure too!

i can come back.

is that why me and [name] broke up?

it's not your fault.

don't fuck with me.

don't fuck with me, [name], not you.

fuckin' kid won't back down.

hey asshole. happy birthday.

so that's it? we're done?

i'll keep in touch.

" does evolution dictate one to be a petty thief, as well, mr. caldwell, @inbelief ? "

emmy logged onto tumblr.com forward slash inbelief and smiled to themself. "oh boy," they say, teeming with excitement, "i can't wait to see what isa's going to say today." then they walked to their local library to support it because that's simply what badasses do, no seriously go to your local library please. anyway. "time to go to work at the coolest job ever. can't wait to go home and write my blorbos after."