side blog for sanders (sides)

I. The Current State of Thomas and Nico’s Relationship

When I compare Thomas/Nico to Logan/Thomas, I don’t necessarily mean that Nico is neglectful towards Thomas. Quite the contrary, Nico has been perceived incredibly positively by Thomas and the sides. 

But it is important to remember when Thomas and Nico got together. Thomas met Nico during a particularly harrowing time in SaSi’s timeline - he rejected a callback, he attended a wedding he didn’t enjoy, and now he’s riddled with heavy anxiety and intrusive thoughts due to his own moral insecurities. He’s at an immensely vulnerable state wherein he struggles to accept fulfilling his own desires, but he wants it so badly. Like what we see in FWSA and WTIT, Thomas absolutely craves something positive to occur in his life. It gets to a point where he is so willing to drop everything he’s doing to go on a date with Nico.

This inclination Thomas has towards Nico has good and bad consequences. On the brighter side, as the sides have mentioned (including Logan), Nico has positively impacted Thomas’ behaviors. There’s something so fond in the way the sides watch Nico and Thomas on a date, because finally he has someone to talk to that isn’t the sides. 

But, on the negative side, having a positive force like Nico does not simply evaporate all of Thomas’ other pre-existing issues. Let us remember that it was during the whole wedding debacle did we get to witness the sides butt heads more than they should. The current split between Virgil and Patton’s friendships, Logan’s isolation, Virgil and Roman’s reservations towards the “Dark” Sides - these have NOT been resolved. In fact, Thomas himself seems to be in a depressed state of mind, as confirmed by Janus in POF and by the way Thomas’ environment looks in WTIT.

I particularly zone in on how Logan referred to Nico at the end of WTIT: a “distraction”. Logan does not perceive Nico as someone who will solve their issues, despite being a good person in Thomas’ life. It is good that Thomas recognizes he wants a deeper relationship with Nico, but let us remember that his self-esteem issues have not resolved itself by WIDS. Roman often hides how pained his and Thomas’ self-esteem is in a desperate attempt to prove Thomas is a good person. There’s something to be said that by the end of WIDS, Roman says something along the lines of “At least Nico thinks we’re doing something right!” as if the focus of their relationship is not the deepening partnership but rather evidence for Thomas’ good moral character and social standing.

A main conflict we have not seen addressed is Thomas’ indignant demeanor towards Nico throughout WTIT. Specifically, there are two scenes that come to mind: 1.) Thomas angrily hitting his door when he found the tissue with Nico’s handwritten number on it, and 2.) Thomas’ crooked eyebrow when realizing that Nico hasn’t replied to his messages. These two scenes are interconnected with Logan’s own issues with anger because the second scene comes directly before Logan’s outburst. This implies that when Logan says “Stop ignoring me!”, it also reflects what Thomas is thinking seeing Nico not reply to him. 

Besides his mental health issues, Thomas is implied to be generally annoyed due to the fact of potential betrayal of trust. Nico is the one who returned Thomas’ boiled carrots. Nico is the one who gave him the tissue with his number on it. Thomas’ social anxiety is so incredibly high that he is downright anticipating rejection from Nico most times, and when it does seem that way, he gets angry. This does not get addressed in WIDS. I will discuss more about what I expect from this specific plot point later in this post.

Overall, his relationship with Nico is positive, but remember that it was born out of a desperate want to address Thomas’ terrible self-esteem issues which he has not properly talked about with Roman or any of the other sides.

II. The Current State of Logan and Thomas’ Relationship

I’ve already extensively talked about the trajectory of Logan’s character in this old post. To summarize, after LNTAO, Logan has consciously diminished his own agency and assertiveness throughout the succeeding episodes to validate the emotions-centric contributions of the other “Light” Sides. This is detrimental to a fact established in WDWGOOBITM wherein it is necessary that Thomas possesses a balance of logical and passion-driven purpose to become a functioning human being. Furthermore, Logan’s lacking presence during the entire wedding arc, especially in SVS and SVS.R, has exacerbated Thomas’ philosophical dilemmas regarding his morality. Hence, Thomas unconsciously began prioritizing the wants of the more emotions-centric sides, while Logan is sidelined, reduced as someone to supply facts like in SVS and WIDS.

This diminished prioritization of Logan as a side has culminated in his outburst in WTIT. Despite his calm demeanor throughout the episode, he truly does not believe that Thomas is listening to what Logan has to say. The last scene of WTIT where Thomas stumbles while he walks out whilst saying “Everything’s fine, Logan!” is a beautiful yet tragic encapsulation of this.

I do want to emphasize that Logan has and always had highly regarded Thomas no matter what kind of conflict struck. This is an unchangeable fact that applies to all the sides. However, there is also something to be said about Logan’s fixation on Thomas’ schooling days. Many episodes since the dawn of SaSi showcases Logan as a ruminator, oftentimes thinking about Thomas’ engineering degree and getting “serious”  jobs in relation to such. His Spotify playlist in particular parades a theme of sacrifice - about ensuring that Thomas’ welfare remains intact within a torrid, capitalist society (Algorhythm, Fitter Happier, Medicine, Streaks). This sacrifice is hinted to happen specifically during Thomas’ youth when he is most expected to become a more “mature” adult. Equation specifically stands out because it is in the perspective of a child asking their parents if they did enough, implying that Logan was assigned to ensure Thomas’ survival. 

The problem is that, I don’t think Thomas realizes the amount of sacrifice Logan has put into him, despite his share of kind words every now and then. Even if Thomas does appreciate Logan, it is clear that Logan does not believe he is loved, appreciated, or, listened to enough. Logan’s diminished presence in Thomas’ final decisions should show the kind of dynamic these two have.

III-a. Why is it Important to See Thomas and Logan as Parallels?

If Thomas’ low self-esteem during the wedding arc is reflective of the state of Roman’s self-esteem, then the state of Thomas’ insecurities when it comes to dating and the current state of his life can reflect Logan’s own insecurities.

Understanding Thomas as a parallel to Logan provides incredible new insights to the entirety of WTIT and Logan’s conclusions during the latter half of WIDS. Because Logan is a reserved person (or, well, tries to be), we have to read into the subtext to understand more of what informs Logan’s character and decisions today. This is supported by the fact that there has to be a reason for the orange side to jump out, one way or another. Because the sides are extensions of Thomas and vice versa, whatever orange’s role is will impact something in Thomas’ life. Again, Logan is not the only person to have issues in relation to frustration and anger - Thomas does, too.

I’m also not saying that you should ship Thomas and Logan, I don’t care if you do or don’t. The main point is, Thomas’ frustrations with Nico “ignoring” him is similar to Logan’s own frustrations with Thomas ignoring him. 

Let’s get into the specifics.

III-b. Where Can We Observe These Parallelisms? (WTIT)

WTIT is my favorite episode for a reason, although I will hold myself back from talking about Remus because this isn’t about him. I also recommend reading my friend Orb’s analysis of Logan’s demeanor in WTIT.

This entire episode changed in my eyes when I realized that much of Thomas’ insecurities in this episode were reflections of Logan’s own. I believe this is intentionally written, especially if you consider the opening scene. When Thomas wakes, he feels dejected by the fact that Nico has not replied to his messages. His heightened self-esteem issues makes him ruminate about this for the entire episode, to the point where he begins believing that Nico wants to cut him off. Within the same minute, we are shown Logan adjusting the position of Thomas’ college degree that was crookedly hanging on the wall. To me, this hints at the idea that Logan does not believe Thomas has been listening to him since his college days, because ever since he started pursuing arts and theatre, Thomas has begun prioritizing his emotional core rather than his rationality. This is why Logan bursts near the end of the episode; Logan’s role is reduced to being something more akin to a maid or a housewife, reminding Thomas what he needs to do even if he’s not even sure he’ll fulfill such.

Another point that adds onto the idea that Thomas’ insecurities parallel Logan’s is the fact that Remus seems to be particularly focused on impeding Logan’s plans more than he is with Thomas. I’ve written about Remus being secretly intelligent and purpose-oriented before, but all you need to understand is that the “Dark” Sides are implied to have their own behind-the-scenes timeline of when and where they want to reveal each side. Whoever Orange is, Remus and Janus’ suave and calm reactions to Logan’s orange eyes seem to suggest that they are expecting Orange’s arrival like it’s its own reckoning. 

In the context of WTIT, while many people think Remus was simply being a nuisance, I personally think there’s enough intentionality in how he regards Logan and his plans that makes me think he wants to specifically incite something in Logan. Again, Orange. He prods at a lot of Logan’s insecurities throughout the episode - from him stating that Logan “can’t fix Thomas all by himself”, to his final line of “But who do you really want to scream at?”, to the book he holds that makes fun of Logan. And when Logan snaps, it was his gotcha! moment. While we don’t know the “Dark” Sides’ plans, I think Remus’ demeanor in WTIT points to a bigger picture we’re not privy to yet.

So, if this episode is meant to highlight both Thomas and Logan’s shared insecurities, then what exactly are those? Let me list them out for you.

1. Logan/Thomas have a fear of growing older. This thought seemed to stem from Logan remarking that Thomas “didn’t have enough time” in regards to his chores. You can interpret this as Logan/Thomas thinking they’re wasting their life for potentially naught, because there’s a stack of chores they haven’t done, and Nico isn’t replying to Thomas’ texts.

2. Logan/Thomas have a fear of nobody being present to help them if they “choke” or experience a personal problem in their lives. This is mostly brought about due to it being a generally low point in Thomas’ life, emphasized by Nico’s lack of response to his texts. Something I’d like to mention is that if Logan possesses these insecurities of not being listened to as Thomas’ logical side, it would make sense then that Thomas possesses his own fears of being ignored, as his logic poses that thought as credible.

An interesting point about this scene as well is that Logan mentions that Thomas feels overwhelmed by the amount of tasks he has to do, which causes him to not start at all. This parallels Logan’s current position in life as he perceives himself as constantly unable to properly address Thomas’ issues. 

Another point to think about is that if Thomas is meant to parallel Logan, then Logan defending Thomas from intrusive thoughts can, in a way be seen as Logan defending himself from his own intrusive thoughts.

3. Logan/Thomas have a problem with magnification, specifically exaggerating how big of a disaster a situation might be. This is definitely something confirmed in WIDS wherein Logan concluded all kinds of love is a sure-fire way to avoid pain. At the same time, I do think Thomas’ worry of something potentially entering his house feels like it could parallel Logan’s own worry with the orange side.

4. Logan/Thomas feel frustrated at the prospect of being ignored. Why I find the scene with the tissue so fascinating is because Nico is the one who invited Thomas to talk to him. Similarly, Logan is a character Thomas created with the purpose to talk to. And for both Logan and Thomas in each of their respective situations, despite being the one asked to talk to the other person, the other person seemingly does not listen or respond back in a way they’d hope.

Remus’ manifestation of Nico amplifies this point by making Nico verbalize Thomas’ insecurities of being a bother to Nico. My favorite line in particular is when Remus, through Nico, says, “If you don’t get rid of me, I’ll get rid of you,” because it parallels a line Remus says to Logan later, which is, “You’re pretending that I don’t exist, so I’m pretending you don’t exist.” Remus, while he seems to have his own frustrations, seems to also state this line to get a rise out of Logan, especially in the context of his strained relationship with Thomas.

There’s something to be said about Nico and Thomas wielding knives as if ready to kill each other. Thomas in particular seems to be holding it in defense, anticipating that Nico would stab him. This echoes Logan’s own problems wherein he believes Thomas is trying to erase him, which causes him to be in fight-or-flight mode. 

5. And lastly, while this isn’t an insecurity per se, it is interesting that Remus seems to highlight how there is a divot in communication between Logan and Thomas similar to how Thomas has one with Nico. Remus exposes that Logan wants to tell Thomas that he thinks he’s ignoring him, and yet he doesn’t. Similarly, Thomas never outs his displeased feelings towards Nico after he finally called him.

From all these points, we can glean that Logan and Thomas have a problem with the idea of being slighted. All these insecurities stem from the fact that they both are being ignored by someone they care about wholeheartedly. 

III-c. Where Can We Observe These Parallelisms? (WIDS)

Much of the parallelisms between Thomas and Logan appear mostly in the latter half, when Logan expressed what he concluded from their time adventure. But I’d like to posit that three versions they see of Thomas in the past may mirror Logan’s own life in one way or another, although take it with a grain of salt.

For the first one, the idea of a second adolescence reminds me of the fact that Logan had to change the trajectory of Thomas’ life plans from something engineering-based to something based on arts and theatre. For the second, I think Thomas’ prioritization of online clout mirrors Logan’s internalization of how Thomas and the other sides think of him. For the third, Thomas’ depression parrots Logan’s own low state wherein he is literally incapable of doing anything to sustainably help Thomas.

But the real gold of the episode is its latter half wherein Logan concludes that Thomas should not date Nico. I’ve talked about these scenes multiple times already, but if you’ve missed it, there’s something to be said about the fact that Logan’s insights tell Thomas to leave Nico because all previous encounters Thomas had ended in pain. While Logan advocates for platonic companionship, there is still something awful about the fact that Logan can conclude that if love harbors hardships, then why even bother? This is emphasized by the fact that Logan is literally dressed as Dr. Who while he tells the others, who are dressed as the Doctor’s companions, that the Doctor should isolate from his companions due to the pain it causes him.

Logan looks especially pissed at the others, especially Patton and Thomas, when they talk about love and hope prevailing through all struggles. It implies that he does not believe in these sayings because it does not work out for him. This contextualizes his hesitations conceding to Thomas’ point about change and “not being a constant” because no matter how much Thomas had changed, Thomas was still Logan’s constant source of hurt. Because all Logan and the other sides have is Thomas. 

Much of Thomas’ own insecurities in regards to dating heavily mirror Logan’s own traumas with Thomas. Hell, throughout the series, Thomas has always possessed insecurities in relation to other people’s perception of him, whether that’d be how Joan would regard him in CLBG, how Lee and Mary Lee would perceive him missing the wedding, how Nico thought of him in the mall - Thomas is in constant peril with his self-esteem due to his social anxiety. 

And now, we see this with Logan, who is still misunderstood even if the other sides seemed kinder to Logan in the end. Everyone else thanks Logan for helping out with the process, but Thomas’ “and yet” remark imparts to Logan that his conclusions were a bust. Roman incorrectly assumes that Logan does not understand romance enough, hence why he came to that conclusion. But the thing is, Logan does understand love. He understands it intimately enough that he’s scared it would hurt Roman and the other sides if this relationship with Nico doesn’t succeed.

While talking to Orb, I mentioned how, to me, Logan and Thomas’ relationship reminds me of Pearl and Rose Quartz from Steven Universe. The way Logan perceives Nico as a “distraction” reminds me of the way Pearl regards Greg as a “phase”, since Pearl has seen Rose date many other people throughout history. But the problem is, Logan and Pearl get it wrong - Nico isn’t just a distraction, Greg isn’t just a phase. And now, Nico, like Greg, is doing the job that Logan, like Pearl, was supposed to fulfill, which is to be a good influence or backbone for Thomas or Rose to rely on. 

Furthermore, I’d like to mention that while Roman (and perhaps Virgil) pushes Thomas to pursue his desire to chase Nico, Orange serves as a parallel to Roman that pushes Logan to chase Thomas.

IV. Where do Logan and Thomas Differ?

There are two aspects wherein I think Logan and Thomas differ. That is, Logan and Thomas have an instated power dynamic, while Thomas and Nico are equals. Another; Logan is not a human and is tethered to only having the sides and Thomas as companions, with Thomas being his literal creator.

While the insecurities remain similar, the gravity of it is more emphasized for Logan because he is more isolated as a person compared to Thomas. Yes, Logan is still decently cordial with some of the sides. But again, after LNTAO, because Logan thought it fit to reduce his presence and devote himself to rationality, the sides believe he is divorced from emotions, especially love. This is a reflection of Thomas’ own doing because he expressed in WIDS that love is not a logical thing. While that doesn’t mean Logan is incapable of love, Logan is often ostracized in any passion-centric decision-making in Thomas’ life.

This is why I’ve always written Logan as someone “doomed by the narrative”. Thomas literally created Logan for sketch purposes, and now, Logan has to reap the consequences of Thomas being a generally impulsive and emotions-heavy person.

V. What Can We Expect From These Parallelisms?

While I’ve made my own theories for Orange before, I think this new episode proved that besides anger, Orange is related to the concept of fight-or-flight - defending oneself when one feels slighted or in danger. It’s a common theme this entire Nico arc - the idea that Nico may hurt Thomas at a certain point. Thing is, with any relationship, that is inevitable. But the most important part is learning how to grow from that and communicate better with your friends and partners.

So, here’s what I think will happen. I believe that in this season’s finale, Thomas will feel slighted by something Nico said or did. It can or cannot be intentional, either works, but for the entire Orange reveal to make sense, Thomas himself needs to get into a situation that demands his presence. Thus, if Thomas feels like he’s been unjustly hurt by Nico, they can connect this to Logan’s own storyline, as he himself struggles with communicating with Thomas.

As much as Thomas and Logan possess similar insecurities, they too have similar points of hope and want. Thomas wants Nico because he loves him, and Logan wants Thomas because he loves him too. During FWSA, Roman mentions how it is important for Thomas to speak from the heart. No bullshit, no lies - to have Nico is to be able to be honest with him. And to me, that’s what Logan needs as well. For Logan to be happy, he needs to be able to communicate his struggles with Thomas, or else they will never get out of their current state of depression.