Many Hockey Goal Horns Are Bad

Have you ever been watching hockey and, after a team scores, thought "Damn... their goal song kinda sucks" ? If so, this is the blog for you!

Here, I evaluate goal horn songs used by PWHL and NHL teams and propose new, maybe improved songs for them to use instead.

My Rubric for a Good Goal Horn Song:

transitions smoothly out of the boat horn

is celebratory, mocking, or both

is representative of the team/city/state it is played for

invites easy crowd participation

isn’t lame as hell

Find Your Team:

(Boston Fleet)|(Minnesota Frost)|(Montreal Victoire)|(New York Sirens)|(Ottawa Charge)|(Toronto Sceptres)

(Anaheim Ducks)|(Boston Bruins)|(Buffalo Sabres)|(Calgary Flames)|(Carolina Hurricanes)|(Chicago Blackhawks)|(Colorado Avalanche)|(Columbus Blue Jackets)|(Dallas Stars)|(Detroit Redwings)|(Edmonton Oilers)|(Florida Panthers)|(Los Angeles Kings)|(Minnesota Wild)|(Montreal Canadians)|(Nashville Predators)|(New Jersey Devils)|(New York Islanders)|(New York Rangers)|(Ottawa Senators)|(Philadelphia Flyers)|(Pittsburgh Penguins)|(San Jose Sharks)|(Seattle Kraken)|(St. Louis Blues)|(Tampa Bay Lightning)|(Toronto Maple Leafs)|(Utah Mammoth)|(Vancouver Canucks)|(Vegas Golden Knights)|(Washington Capitals)|(Winnipeg Jets)

The contents of this blog aren't meant to be taken super seriously. I'm just having fun and sharing my opinions. Please feel free to give your opinions on goal horns and suggest changes as well!

My posting schedule can be found below:

My Rating:

Great transition +1

The celebratory cannon cannot be beat.  Everything that follows is a let down. +0.25

The cannon is such a part of the team vibe, but the song is soulless +0.5

I guess crowd can sing along, but why would they? +0.25

Starts iconic, quickly becomes lame +0

The Columbus Blue Jackets get a 2/5

My Rating:

Good transition +1

Low energy, kinda meh +0

Incorporation of the avalanche warning siren is great (if that's what it is), the rest feels generic  +0.5

Obvious in-built chant +1

Kinda lame +0

The Colorado Avalanche get a 2.5/5

My Rating:

Good transition +1

Slight taunting lilt, but not overtly celebratory, joyous, or confident +0.75

So ingrained in the team’s 21st Century branding and success that it has become a Chicago song, but it’s undeniably UK rock +0.75

Easy to sing along to, but not chant forward +0.5

It only feels lame because so many have tried to replicate it +0.5

The Chicago Blackhawks get a 3.5/5

My Rating:

Good transition +1

Confident in a way that tauntingly screams ‘we don’t need to freak out, this is expected’ +1

Lyrics are overtly Carolina, and the ‘dirty south’ adjacent vibe also fits +1

Not chant forward, but invited the crowd to pop their tops off, which I like +1

Not lame +1

The Carolina Hurricanes get a 5/5

My Rating:

I absolutely LOVE this transition! +1

Self aggrandizing and mocking, but it feels a little more like an intro than a crescendo if that makes sense +0.5

This matches the rough and tumble vibe the Flames give off. +1

Good ‘oi oi oi’ chant.  Could squeeze in a ‘Cal-ga-ry, we’re dynamite’. +1

Not lame but not quite cool +0.5

The Calgary Flames get a 4/5

My Rating:

Transition is fine. +1

Upbeat and celebratory +1

This is an older, classic hockey team, so a classic rock song fits. But, in my opinion, they are copying an old Washington horn so points deducted for lack of originality. +0.5

No obvious chant. +0

Not lame! +1

The Buffalo Sabres get a 3.5/5.

My Rating:

Good transition +1

Very hype!  Feels celebratory, and in your face enough that it becomes taunting +1

Maybe not hyper-specific to Boston, but has a classic feel becoming of an OG6 team +1

Repetitive, rhythmic spaces that work great for chants +1

A little overdone, but in a way that feels classic not corny +0.75

The Boston Bruins get a 4.75/5.

My Rating:

I don't like the horn/song overlap. It feels sloppy. +0

Meh energy. The "whatcha gonna do, when they keep coming for you," part is taunting if you squint. +0.5

This song feels soulless and artificial. It would be deeply insulting to this team and this city to call it representative. +0

Crowd could do the "Oh"s? +0.5

Pretty lame. +0

The Anaheim Ducks get a 1/5.

Anaheim is on year two of this horn song, and my feelings about it are the same as they were last year.

idk if u know any catholic hymns but that could be a fun idea for a hawks horn! something upbeat like river of glory or city of god maybe

Since receiving this in May, I have been hunting on and off for a recording that fits this bill. I'm a lapsed Catholic, I went to mass every Sunday for 18 straight years, and I swear I remember there being some banger songs (recessionals in particular). Man... every recording of a song I've found is so much more low energy than my memory of that song. Like, Vatican II said Catholics are allowed to have fun music now, right? Why do so many people go boring when its time to record?

That being said, I have not given up entirely. I'm now weirdly interested in contemporary Catholic liturgical music, and I think the answer to this horn lies closer to Mary Lou Williams than to the Dan Schutte stuff I (and likely you given the songs you listed) grew up on. Thank you for sending me down this interesting rabbit hole! Watch this space.

Song: My Chemical Romance - Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

Pros:

Decent transitions

Has a classically mocking energy

Like you said, MCR is from Jersey so that's an obvious connection. Plus the band has a sort of devilish vibe about it, so it's also on theme in a way.

The Na Na Na parts and the "give me more" section at the end are easily chant-able.

Not lame!

Cons:

None inherent to the song!

My only issues with this as a goal horn song are due to my lack of sound editing expertise. The lyrics layered over the main 'na na na' part just do not match my vision for this edit. In a world where I have the sound mixing prowess to fix that this is a perfect horn (to me).

Thank you for the suggestion anon <3

Song: bbno$ - check

Requested by: @prettyboybrock

Pros:

Natural transition points, especially within the song itself

Overtly celebratory and braggadocios

bbno$ is from Vancouver and is famously a fan of the Canucks

Good chant/yell along opportunities with the "lalala", "oh my god", and "ayyy lets go crazy" sections

Not lame

Cons:

I cannot find any obvious cons! The only real knock against it is that it doesn't necessarily match the current vibe the Canucks are giving off, but I believe it is an achievable vibe and I'm a big fan of fake it 'till you make it.

One thing I like about this as a goal song that doesn't fit neatly in my rubric is that it back-loads the majority of the crowd participation opportunities. Being able to allot like 30 seconds for just screaming and blindly freaking out after the goal makes having a sing along feel more realistic.

Thank you again @prettyboybrock, this was a super fun idea <3

Song: Dropkick Murphys - I'm Shipping Up to Boston

Way back in January, someone sent an ask about this song for the Boston Fleet and while I liked it as a special occasions horn, for whatever reason I never ended up actually doing an edit. I got a couple more anons about it over the summer, so I figure this is a good one to kick of the return of hockey with.

Pros:

Natural transition points

It's a nautical song about Boston. Extremely on theme for the Fleet.

Incredibly scream-able

Not lame

Cons:

High energy, but not really celebratory. This song feels more like an introduction than a crescendo.

Thank you to everyone who asked after this song! It was a fun one to put together and a great way to ease back into doing these edits <3

Oof okay so I didn’t do any of that stuff I said I would during the offseason. Instead, I spent my summer convincing blue cross to continue covering a medication that they’d already been covering for 2 years. It was a tedious summer with several annoying side quests, but thankfully now all is well. I am back to being properly medicated and generally unoccupied just in time for the start of the NHL season!

In the next few days, I will begin posting some of the requests I received over the summer- my apologies to the people who sent requests over a month ago, I promise I did not forget about you!

As the NHL season gets underway, I will be rolling out horn reviews as quickly as I can. Like last year, I’ll generally be posting in alphabetical order and horn proposals will come after reviews. When the PWHL season starts in November, it’ll be the same protocol.

And as always, my inbox is open. If you have any goal horn intel, opinions, requests, etc feel free to send them my way!

With the PWHL and NHL seasons now both officially over, this blog will be shifting into off season mode. My plan this summer is to start writing up and posting histories of each team's goal horn song use. I don't know how many I'll end up getting done before October and pro hockey starts up again, but that's what I'll be up to for now.

If you follow me and aren't interested in this content, feel free to block the tags #ghh and #goal horn history.