i'm learning absolutely insane fucking things on the wikipedia page for penn jillette of penn and teller
In that radio show he also talks about getting it installed in his home (before patenting it) and explaining to the tech that he wants a water jet placed for a woman's sexual pleasure and the tech at first assumed he wanted a jet angled to shoot water up at 90 degrees (that is, into the vagina). Which I imagine would be neither fun nor all that healthy. Penn had to explain how he wanted it to hit the clitoris, which apparently this tech had just forgotten existed or something.
I lost my copies of this radio show ages ago but anyone who knows where to get it, I recommend listening to it, because his explanation of just how Debbie Harry gave him this idea is fucking hilarious.
sorry, what???
He lost all the skin on his scrotum because Bees. You know how it is with bees.
I'm telling this from memory so I might get a couple of details wrong, but a while ago, Penn and Teller did a bit where they produced a shitton of bees onstage:
Now, Penn is an experience raconteur who did at this point in his career lean into producing a lot of bombastic energy onstage, but you might notice that he's a little off-kilter in this act, talking faster and more scattered than usual. That's because he is high as all fuck on speed. I don't know what he's like recently, but at this point in his life, Penn did absolutely zero drugs, as in 'does not drink caffeine' levels of zero drugs, as in 'filming a scene with Criss Angel where they have cigarettes in their mouths was a big deal drug-wise' level of drugs. But their medical guy said that if they insisted on doing something very very stupid like getting into a small box with hundreds of bees and absolutely no protection, they' need to take a precautionary drug (which Penn says is basically a low dose of speed, although I'm not sure how accurate his information is on that) so they don't die if they get stung by a fuckoff amount of bees.
He got stung by 24 bees.
The next day, Penn finds himself with a somewhat distressing medical issue -- all the skin is pruning up and peeling off his balls. Naturally, he goes to his GP immediately, because like. That's not the kind of symptom you wait and see on.
The GP takes one look, gives a world weary sigh, and says, "What did you take?"
Penn insists he hasn't taken anything. He never does. He doesn't do drugs.
"Yeah, you've been saying for years that you're completely clean, but this is something I only see in long-time users who have been taking unsafe levels of drugs. Have you been lying to me? What did you take?"
They have a sort of medical stand-off, doctor's expertise vs. Penn's memory. The doctor insists that it would take sudden high levels of toxins in the body to do this, Penn insists that he doesn't take anything. Until he suddenly remembers that oh, yeah, he did take something.
He tells the doc about the precautionary 'speed' that their medical guy gave them. "Could that do it?"
The doc says that no, that drug in that weak dosage shouldn't do something like this. This is quite puzzling. Oh, and what was that drug for?
"Oh, for the bees."
"... The bees?"
"Yeah, we were working unprotected with hundreds of bees."
The doc stares at him. Asks if he was stung by the hundreds of bees. Penn says that yeah, he was stung by 24 bees.
The doc stares more. "Get out."
"What?"
"We just had this whole long conversation about how this could have happened and you didn't think to mention the TWENTY FOUR bees that injected TOXINS into your body yesterday?? You didn't think that was worth mentioning? It was the bees. It'll grow back. Go."
"Should I put anything on it, or...?"
"Salt! You can put salt on it, for all I care!"
Penn did not put salt on it.
He also once grilled his dick on a hairdryer.
That one was one hundred per cent his fault.
I mean they're all his fault but that one was especially his fault.
