Pure Pazaak.

give me ruby dreading running into any of her parents’ old friends because they always stop and stare at her, and she can see them whispering into their hands when they think she’s not looking. she knows what they’re saying. summer’s daughter, they whisper, never catching her eye. summer’s daughter, not ruby. summer’s daughter, but what they mean is summer’s ghost.

give me yang who has tai’s eyes, tai’s hair, tai’s name, tai’s easy confidence and easier grins. yang who smiles big and wide when she’s young while people shake their heads and tell her dad she’s going to be a handful if she’s anything like him, while he ruffles her hair and tells her she’s definitely going to be a handful, but that’s not a bad thing. 

give me yang noticing how different her dad is once summer’s gone, how she still looks just like him, but no one ever mentions it anymore. they have the same features, but now they smile differently. hold themselves differently. and all she can do is watch as her dad stops being her dad.

Female Lead: I am an uptight workaholic, and am neurotic to the point of damaging my personal relationships. [trips and tells implausible lies] But I’m also clumsy and awkward so it’s okay.

Best Friend: I am a quirky free spirit who inexplicably enjoys your company. I’m sassy, laid-back, and somehow always right.

Quirky Parents: We’re benignly embarrassing! And also somehow always right.

Female Lead: I’m lonely, but I still have The Plan. That’ll make me happy, right?

Best Friend: [rolls eyes] The Plan can’t keep you warm at night, if you know what I mean.

Quirky Parents: You can’t spend your life with The Plan. [Insert adorkable old people moment]

Both Together: THE PLAN DOES NOT INVOLVE LOVE.

Male Lead: [enters, probably awkwardly] Hello, I am a charming asshole whose assholery hides a sensitive heart.

Female Lead: YOU DO NOT GEL WITH THE PLAN.

Male Lead: Fuck The Plan. Stop being so uptight. Stop caring so much about things I don’t care about.

Female Lead: But I have dreams! Aspirations that have nothing to do with you!

Male Lead: [follows her around] Me, tho.

Female Lead: [relents] Perhaps you are correct.

[They are happy for 5 minutes, in which he is overbearing and she is uncomfortable cool with it.]

[Insert The Event. Maybe she lied to him. Maybe she prioritized her career and life goals over her sort-of-boyfriend. Maybe *gasp* AN EASILY EXPLAINABLE MISUNDERSTANDING. He shames her for what she’s done and storms off.]

Female Lead: I was wrong. But it’s too late to apologize for some reason.

Best Friend OR Quirky Parents: You should apologize.

Female Lead: But it’s too late for some reason! Also The Plan! Perhaps we were never meant to be.

Best Friend OR Quirky Parents: Fuck The Plan. This guy you’ve known for like a week eclipses everything else. Go to him.

Female Lead: You’re right! [leaves friend’s wedding/important meeting/family reunion/etc. Goes to him with big gesture. Trips, because she’s still clumsy and awkward.] I’M SORRY FOR NOT MAKING YOU TOP PRIORITY IN MY LIFE, MAN I’M ONLY KIND OF DATING.

Male Lead: I’m sorry I shamed you for having a life plan that doesn’t revolve around romance/sex, but this scene still implies I was right to do so.

Female Lead: Fuck The Plan.

[They kiss]

shoutout to bi people who cringe at the inevitable “but I thought you were gay/straight!!!” reaction whenever you express attraction to someone outside of your assumed gender preference

shoutout to bi people who have had their sexuality interrogated by other bi people because it doesn’t mirror their own experiences or fit their definition of what being bi means shoutout to bi people reluctant to come out because they’re tired of having to constantly defend their sexuality to anyone and everyone

WARNING TO EVERYONE OUT THERE

YouTube is playing a new ad that has a jumpscare before the skip button. If an ad starts playing that’s a green and white cigarette box sitting against a grey background

MUTE THE VIDEO AND/OR LOOK AWAY. A FREAKY-ASS CREATURE JUMPS OUT OF THE BOX AND AT THE SCREEN.