reminiscent ramblings about L&D
random, but... i miss my l&d patients lately!
some of them i remember so vividly
especially the baby born on my birthday that i stayed a little later to help finish pushing with mom
and my families that didn't speak any english ( i think i have a soft spot for my lil mexican mamacitas they are such troopers)
and my young girls who were convinced that they couldn't deliver the baby on their own...and then they did it
and the moms who couldn't feel their legs because of the epidural so i held them up on my shoulder while steadying myself in the bed with fingers in position to check their pushing progress
and the moms who wanted to go all natural but gave in and finally were convinced that that didn't necessarily mean 'giving up' they just got to experience a little bit of everything- no meds and meds
and the moms who did go natural and let every moan groan cry whimper scream etc out
and the dads who almost couldn't take it and curled up in fetal position (true story)..in a warm blanket
and the dads that cried...even if it wasn't their first...second..or third..or fourth child...
and the moms of the babies that didn't make it...and how they remained encouraged..and comforted their partners/husbands
and the babies themselves
and the babies without the tops of their heads or a fully developed brain (anacephalic)
and the silence in the room when a baby almost didn't make it...and then finally (after almost ten minutes) took a little breath and made a little effort to cry (there is power in the name of Jesus)
and the doctors who were awesome
and those who yelled at me
and the midwives who taught me so much
and the nurses who taught me sooo much
and the nurses who were going through soooo much in their personal lives but still their with these moms as if that was their life
and the moms who had never been in a hospital before
and the moms who didn't know what the heck was going on and finally trusted me enough to ask questions
and the twins..whose heartbeats drove me crazy and had me on the floor holding the monitors in place while the mom slept
and the clots that almost didn't get expressed and had me freaking out that something was wrong
and the doctors that swore that if the pitocin wasn't bumped the baby would never come out
and the midwife who showed me how effective hot packs on boobies were for getting more consistent contractions without pitocin, cervidil, or cytotec
and the moms who had had over 10 or 15 deliveries...but no children to show for them...or the children weren't in their possession
and the moms battling drug addiction...they were somehow always the nicest (and they knew their veins the best...i'm just sayin..one showed me how to get one in her thumb almost and it worked)
and the girl who's parents died of HIV and she didn't feel loved but lit up when I told her how beautiful her skin was
and the dad who looked on the other side of sterile sheet during the c-section and didn't pass out lol
and the nursing students who saw their first c section
and the med students who saw their first vaginal birth
and the nurse who delivered her baby vaginally after a c-section despite being told she couldn't and that her uterus wasn't the right shape and she cried joyfully that she didn't and that she wasn't broken =)
and the nurses who were seeking fulfillment in their careers
and the nurses who were midwives in another country
and the nurses who could tell me stories about how things used to operate in labor and delivery...the good...and the bad...
and the dads that got offended when the moms in labor were 'mean' to them
and the babies' first baths
and the silly mistakes i made that left me running out the room to find help while the intern awkardly kept her hand in the vajayjay because neither of us knew the answer
and when i finally started getting IVs right
and how i rarely felt i got vag exams right
and the times the babies delivered in the bed and the dads came running out screaming for help
and the time the bag of water (intact) came out between the mom's legs and neither me nor my preceptor knew what to do (she was so calm though)
and the moms that lost their babies in the final trimester or final couple weeks...and those who had experienced this multiple times
and the mom that planned her baby shower and then lost her baby
and the first fetal demise i saw and felt...and cleaned and dressed...and eventually bagged..
and the discovery of food trucks
and how fast i got at charting
and sitting in my patient's room all night because it was easier then running in every time they got off the monitor or had a late decel
and helping my fellow nurse rush a patient back to the OR while another held her hand in to keep the baby off of a prolapsed cord
and watching the blue dye go into a patient and come out in the foley bag
and becoming a G and placing foley catheters and in/out catheters!
and the moms that pooped on the table without even realizing it
and the dads that didn't care =)
and the family members that gawked at their family member's bloody vajayjay as i placed the in/out cath and told me they didn't want to do what i do
and the mom who's amniotic fluid literally flooded the entire floor almost...and the intern who let it...and the family member who thought to grab some towels =)
and the new interns during their first week who sat and listened to late decels but figured they'd wait for one of us to come in..
and how some didn't mind asking for help =)
and how some thought they didn't need help =/
and the special ops medic team that followed the midwives (boy were they cute!)
and the sound of fetal heart beats stuck in my head...and then the sound of my own heartbeat as i went to sleep which sounded so slow that i thought i was hearing a prolonged decel and would wake up
and how cool expressing clots after a c-section looked before going into recovery ( i know..i know..)
and my moms who didn't care what you had to do to their boobs to help them with breastfeeding and finally conquered it with some help
and the dads who were dads before the baby was even born- just concerned about mom and baby
and the dads who couldn't stay in the room
and the moms who were in so much pain but managed to sit still and bear through an epidural and then finally got some rest
and the high risk antepartum moms who felt like a new woman after they got to get off the monitor for a while and take a shower
and the moms who were mean to day shift but somehow nice(r) to me (at least as nice as they could manage)
and the mom who was the meanest nastiest patient ever but before she left shared a joke with me
and the patients who I shared my love for Jesus with even in different languages and we bonded over that
and the doctors and nurses who wished me well when I relocated across the country
and my patient who begged for the pitocin to be turned off and for everything to be taken out of her..and was refused and instead offered a 'cocktail' (the one day i cried)
and the awesome baby nurses and nicu team and OR team
and the woman in triage who was giving her baby up for adoption
and the tiny baby who was born premature and non-living but who's heartbeat kept beating softly for almost 3 hrs
and the interns who looked like zombies day in and day out who rarely got help from their third-years =( (except the awesome ones who remembered their first year)
and the cool male OBs that were so chill
and the midwife who wanted just about every latino patient's urine screened for drugs =/
and the older nurses who didn't let much phase them and could laugh just about anything off and helped me stay calm
and running back from the food trucks on break because I heard anesthesia being paged to my patient's room
and the feeling i would get having to leave a mom who i had been with all night because my shift was over
and the moms who had to stay in the hospital for weeks for fear they would deliver prematurely ...and the look on their face when their kids and husband could come to visit
and the mom whose pulse was crazy high despite her calm demeanor during morning rounds with the doctor and team of residents
and the beeps lights and alarms constantly going off
and becoming immune to the emergency alarm...unless it continued after 3 seconds.
and staring at the fetal heart rates on the screen as if i was watching the child itself...and looking away for a second only to look back and see a late or prolonged decel =/
and the mom who had crazy eyes and crazy tongue while pushing...and a crazy laugh to go with it (eerie)
and the joy i felt showing the dad how to help the mom during labor in diff positions and with diff moves to combat the pressure she was feeling in her back
and how good my patients' chocolate cake looked after they'd deliver and i hadn't eaten all night
and how addicted i became to the hospital apple juice
and how awesome the scrub techs were...after i was no longer intimidated
and how bewildered a family would look when a c-section was called
how i got really good at keeping a smiling, calm face even when I had no idea what was going on...at least until I could get out of the room and run down the hall to find my preceptor
and how some women came into triage already pushing...and sometimes speaking no english
and how nice and awesome the CRNAs were to the moms
and how the most difficult patients became some of my best patients after i spent some time praying for a change in attitude ('cause ain't nobody got time for that)
hopefully more to tell soon! travel assignment coming up possibly. but now near San Fran - we shall see! =)
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