disabled & suicidal

i want to be loved, but i dont actually think i deserve it. Even i cant justify it for myself. I wish i could turn back time to when i was a kid and people thought i was nice and good. I want to be clean again. I want to deserve to be loved.

why are they closer to them than i am? its not fair. i should be the one to know everything. i should be their favourite.

"I am okay, don't worry" *proceeds to cry all weekend, barely eating or getting up from bed, has an episode*

i LOVE clingy people, i love it when you tell me all about your day I love it when you treat my dms like a journal, tell me every little detail, every little thing you found interesting, ramble to me about your interests, tell me if youre feeling mad at someone, rant to me or something I really don't mind! I love hearing it!

maybe killing myself is the only way to sever the attachment i have to you.

I disappear when I don’t feel loved

sorry for being your biggest mistake

i cant even pretend like i'm not hurt. i am. i'm too sensitive. i'm too vulnerable. i get hurt easily. i'm afraid of everything and everyone. i take everything seriously. i dont want to put on an act

Lately the loneliness has been crushing. I crave touch, I crave closeness. It hurts. It hurts so much.

i feel like i’m not allowed to be happy. whenever i feel slightly content with my life i immediately get anxious, like i did something wrong.

I know im a shit friend but oh god am i fucking trying

i need to crash out. i need to explode. i can't fucking do this.

Did you know that I am CONSTANTLY trying my very best not to scare you off or weird you out whenever I'm talking to you?