Our Endless Imaginations

Hey, so I just wanted to ask you something. I searched up the word "Imaginatus" since it is a word that is also important to me, in more ways than one, and here I saw your blog, with the same name, too. I'm sorry, but I'm just so curious. How did you come up with this same name? Is it important to you in any way?

i want a sliver of time from this toxic land

an explanation

no matter what i say or do, i’ll always just be a caged bird. i long to fly around the world; to have the tip of my wings graze each and every ocean; to have my feet hop through every desert and every mountain. i want to sing my songs of freedom and love, letting it echo throughout the day and night. i want to live all my days adventuring all i can, letting the wind be my guide. perhaps they would remember me as the one who let her heart soar, wouldn’t that be lovely? the sky is supposed to be the limit, but it seems that for me, these chains will forever be all that i know.

you know what i wish? i wish that something could happen between us. that we could go on moonlit walks and immerse in the gentle, night breeze, where we would lay under the stars and laugh until the sun began to rise. i wish that we could be together and fall deeply in love, so much that even the  heavens would envy it. if we feel the same way, then what’s stopping us, why can’t we both accept our feelings for what they truly are? no, it’s not a love that burns hotter than a thousand suns, but it’s worth acknowledging. maybe if i weren’t this goodie-two-shoes kind of a girl, you would be the perfect, dream guy. but perfection doesn’t exist in this mundane world, we all have flaws, and we all make mistakes. i suppose that’s the perk  of being a mere human. yet, it’s that one flaw, that one mistake that will always hold me back.

i beg of you to not speak.

my heart does not belong to you, nor does it belong to any other person. all you ever did was carve out my skin until you had my naked heart in your hands. i asked you why you wanted it, and you said you merely wanted to protect it. but naturally, it was a blatant lie. you held my heart and gently kissed it. you told it what it wated to hear, things that made it melt like an ice cube on a hot, summer day. i thought it was all for the sake of proving that i was not just some random nobody, that i was truly a somebody for once. my heart than began to beat, not to keep me alive, but to prove to you that it was yours to keep. it kept leaping to you, for you, so much that your name might as well have been incised on it. once you knew that it was your true and loyal slave, you finally told it the truth. i wish i could say that my heart was sorry for being so enchanted, but your name is still there

“there’s something that’s drawing me to you. i think about you way too much and i wish i knew why. i’ll dream about you day and night not knowing what it means. do i miss you? do i love you? but these are just more questions that will never have an answer. if i told myself a year ago that i wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about you, i’d laugh hysterically. honestly, a year ago, you wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. you were somebody in my past who had once meant so much to me, but time pressed on and we forgot each other. out of the blue, i started to think about you more and more... here i am today feeling these odd emotions. it’s funny because we don’t talk at all, nor do we ever see each other. is this the extent of the human mind? to dream day and night about somebody who exists, but not in my own world anymore?”

trust me, darling, you’re safe in my arms so let me look at your bare heart, and let me see you when  you’re vulnerable and fragile to the point where one sound, one word, one whisper can break you apart. let me prove to you that my worlds hold truth when i say that i love you and that i’ll protect you  with all that i have.

“sometimes i lose myself and forget what it means to be alive, truly alive. i lose a sense of purpose and a sense of belonging. i’m not sure what i’m meant to be doing, and that terrifies me. sometimes i feel like i’m supposed to know where i’m going, like my life is supposed to be planned out... so when i stray from that path, the path i had been walking on, breathing on, living on, i crumble. i shatter and all those pieces scatter. i’m so terrified to pick them back up because broken things are all so delicate. they fall apart when we do everything to keep it together. i’ve been told by others what’s supposedly best for me that in the process, my mind got warped in a way that i now fail to make sense of it. i’ve drowned in all these voices in my head, but still i live on. i make decisions that i’m not even sure are my own, but i’ve grown to become so tired of finding my voice. i wish i knew because with that, maybe i’d be able to find that pathway once again.”

at some point in our lives, our dreams become nothing but a distant memory. they become a part of our past that we wish we could hold onto for longer, if not, forever. but when we try to hug those dreams, they disappear into the sky. so close, but so far. we wonder when it was we left them behind and how we strayed so far from them, when they had meant so much to us. it was the one thing we knew for sure, the one thing that could never change no matter how many times we fell down. maybe we just fell down too hard that when we were finally able to get back up, we never wanted to go through that same torture ever again. dreams aren't supposed to hurt, are they? they're supposed to be sunshine and rainbows, the perfect happily ever after, one that was supposed to come true. but even if our dreams never existed, we would still fall over, and over, and over again. we know that though, don't we? so what made them disappear in the first place? how could we grow out of something, that we only ever wanted to grow into?

he loves me. he looks at me like i’m the centre of his universe. he whispers these sweet nothings into my ears, making the hairs on my skin stand up as shivers shoot throughout my body. he touches me like i'm  an angel sent from heaven, delicately. there’s nobody else like him. he loves me, right? he loves me not. he forgot what today was… just like last year. he promised me it wouldn’t happen again, but i guess he was being disingenuous. here i am stuck crying all alone with this aching pain in my heart, while he’s out doing who knows what. maybe getting drunk, or maybe he’s messing with other women. gosh, it hurts so much picturing him with women all over him, caressing his chest and putting their lips on his. is this really what love is…? i-i don’t know anymore. he loves me, he loves me not. he loves me, he loves me… not. he-