Isabella Musilli

I saw this before I left work last night and had a quiet hope, and today I checked my phone at about quarter to two, while I was still on my lunch break, and I’ve just got a job interview with the BBC next week

I think my feelings for you are genuinely fading away. I thought I’d never get over you, but now I find myself deleting those pictures, deleting those little memories, traces of you are slowly leaving my heart. The butterflies are fluttering away, the blush on my cheeks is disappearing, the idiot grin I had when I thought of you is turning into a blank expression.

Tell me if it’s real, fucking tell me how you feel.

“We all have someone who we just can’t fucking let go of.”

“What do you miss the most about him?” “I’m not sure,” she whispered, looking down to the ground, “I’m not even sure if I do miss him. I miss the memories, and I miss talking to him and the way he made me feel. But I still don’t know if miss him, you know?””

“In a way, you didn’t deserve how hard I tried to hold onto you, how hard I tried to get you to stay. Yet at the same time, I know I would’ve regret it had I not tried.”

“You see, at first, I did regret you. I regretted ever giving you that satisfaction of having me so easily. I used to regret ever being so vulnerable for you. I would regret the memories we had created at 2PM as well as the ones at 4AM. Now, I’m just so thankful for you. You taught me that there is nothing wrong with showing a man just how crazy you are for him, it is not my fault you were incapable of loving me back. You taught me my worth. That I should not lose an ounce of sleep, crying over something that is completely out of my hands. You taught me how to love myself enough to let you go. Because of you, I know what I deserve now and I will never settle. You did that. I am forever grateful for you.”

It’s scary reaching the end

“I miss you, I think about you, I want to text you, but I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t do any of it because you don’t deserve it. I shouldn’t do it because I know you don’t care about me, and that’s the worse part about this all. I know you don’t care about me, yet I'm still hung up on you.”

“It was April when I met you, and April became my favorite month. April turned into May, and May was full of maybes. Maybe we could work, maybe you were playing me, maybe I loved you. June is here and you tell me you’re leaving. May’s maybes turned to no’s, and I flooded June with the tears of my sorrow.”

“I really really like him and its driving me insane”

“I deleted your number from my phone; yet I cannot erase the memories of us, and the nights we spent alone.”

“In the dead of the night I find myself wondering. Wondering if you ever think about me, wondering if you still care. If I told you how much I regret how we ended, would you laugh at me? Tell me everything happens for a reason? Or would you smile that smile you only used to give me and tell me you’ve missed me too. I still miss you like a limb and even if I’m certain we ended for a reason, I can’t stop myself from wondering if you want to begin again as much as I do.”