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So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. 

If this gets notes I’ll tell the full story

Storu

I thought it wasn’t possible to crack an egg in your palm like that how to fuck did he

This is a good one 12/10

this is legit my favorite vine compilation ever, i’m crying

#Erin your friend Jackie is in it and it’s a different vine than usual! – lmao omg elvira your tags are the best

Fun fact: James Gunn, man behind The Gaurdians of the Galaxy movies, wrote for both films!

one time at a wax museum i thought one of the tour guides was a wax person cuz they were just standing there not moving so i go up to them like “who the fuck is this supposed to be” then they just looked at me and laughed

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

me walking into lush about to eat a chunk of soap

that sounds like something patrick stump would say

God bless the Simpsons

damn people really go out on saturdays and have fun thats wild

As far as I’m concerned Gasolina is classical music. You can play it at any club in any year and it’ll still be a banger. Mozart can eat my ass. Thanks for coming to be TED Talk

the applause is the notes

im so tired of this life. i want to be a roomba. i want knives taped to me. and i want to be set loose.

​the energy of this post is dark and mysterious