welcome to frank sinatra's warehouse

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

I can use excel and the toilet

Tee, (and i cannot stress this enough) hee

You dumb motherfucker life isn't about smelling flowers or feeling radiant sunshine on your skin or making meals with your loved ones. You idiot son of a bitch. It's about apps. It's about scrolling through apps.

Hi honey how was your day at the gaslighting factory?

ive never worked there. stop saying i work there

Honey, remember what your union rep said about working off the clock

The Ikea biphobia couch is the funniest thing that's ever happened. We found it gang. Nothing will ever top it in terms of being funny.

The what???

???

I don't know what to tell you man.

genuinely irritated about the prevalence of brother-sister character designs where the brother has a huge nose and the sister has a tiny nose. 1) why are you a coward who hates the joy and beauty of women with big noses 2) have you looked at any real human siblings lately 3) why do you appear to think the nose is a secondary sex characteristic

wishing all women with big noses a beautiful day i hope you get everything you want forever and i'm sorry about the rank cowardice of general society you deserve better

I just felt someone Z-target me

[clearly circle-strafing you] don't be ridiculous

I looove when food is in a bowl. Frequently plates are being brought out and I'm thinking this could've been a bowl meal but nobody gets it

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister