someone dropped a bitcoin on my head from on top of the empire state building in an act of guerrilla trepanation but since there weren’t any evil spirits in my skull the hole just sprouted a flower and now everybody says i look like a damn pikmin smh
my impression of what a translation of this post would look like if they found it ~4200 years from now and the language was poorly recorded and the concepts some of the words were describing no longer exist and they had trouble with the grammatical order due to the lack of punctuation:
during the glory days of Empire State Building¹, i lost the money i had been planning to use to buy a computer. a stranger, who was an untrained soldier, responded by trepaning me and releasing my evil will from the top of my head². yet, regardless, a tree has only recently grown out of the sewers. it is still said that i am like the much-hated Pikmin³. i do not believe it.
¹ a great structure, perhaps a bank, said to exist during the 20th century. it is likely mythological as no evidence of it has been found, but it is mentioned often enough that we can assume it was universally-known among USAmericans
² this implies that personality was believed to originate from the top of the head, though most other accounts from the time placed it in the heart
³Pikmin is an unknown figure, only one other account of which has yet been found. it may have been a folk hero, or a force, or some other thing more metaphorical than literal. it is worth noting that it is also associated with the growth of plants in its other mention
the relevance of this passage is not known, and it was likely a joke or humorous story, though its punchline makes no sense to us as is. its true meaning seems, unfortunately, to be lost to time.
