no more cupcakes

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

The person who made cookie clicker thinks we should all have buttons that you click and the numbers go up? You don't say.

[ID: A political cartoon. The image is divided in two. On the right, the Artemis II mission is taking off towards the moon in a clear sky. On the right, missiles are raining on a city on fire, presumably in Iran. On the left upper cadran, there is the quote "Humanity has once again shown what we are capable of..." by an Artemis crew member. End ID]

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

That and the monkey barrrsssss

actually, caesar was stabbed 60 times. it just looked like 23 because, after the tumblr update,

somnophillia is super funny like im honk shoo honk shoo having a good nights sleep and now you must pass the ultimate test of fucking me without waking me by knocking something over or stepping on a crisp packet i've left on my floor. can you finish your mission while my pet geckos judge you from their tanks? because they're not leaving the room okay the geckos stay in here. also the markiplier fnaf playlist stays on. i sleep better when he's screaming.

all kink stuff is playing pretend but with somno you're not playing pretend you're locked in you're comfy cozy you're snug as a bug in a rug and your partner is playing pretend instead

and like. if you're the one awake you're playing pretend so hard right now like ouuuuhhh look at me i'm a scary evil intruder or a demon or vampire or whatever we're doing tonight and now i just have to uhhhh okay shimmy the duvet off and shhh dontfucking breathe so loud and okayyyyy alright now. ah shit they're sleeping in the family guy death pose how the fuck do i get in there how. how do i. help. why are these geckos looking at me.

plus you have to not get too scared when freddy fazbear jumpscares you or else you're waking them up with your screams

oh great and this guy's here in the cuck box wondering if the screaming is me waking up or markiplier dying or toy bonnie throwing a tantrum

i'm gonna keep it real with u guys i don't think we're ever becoming the new pdf like this

big shout out to tumblr for being the first major site in like two years to implement an ill-advised "feature" nobody wants, likes or respects that doesn't involve AI

perfect website. no notes ❤️

wheres seasons greasons

its that time of year again

It doesn’t have to be

its not optional

kitten, stop fucking around and tell daddy where you hid his prozac or daddy's gonna add another 'hey there delilah' to the sex playlist

why do you guys only like my bad posts