ilana

team7 on a hiking trip!!

naruto ruined his water bottle and had to ask for papashi's for the whole trip

sakura is the only one who forgot her hat so she had to wear papashi's stupid cap instead

I feel like kids borrowed half of the kkshi's stuff because they forgot something. sasuke didn't forget anything but pretended that he did just to feel included

So like picture with me. The otsutsuki are known for invading planets and cannibalizing them like a spider. Inject their chakra into the world and then suck it and the dissolved life right back out. Except Earth fucking cannibalized the otsutsuki right back and gave all its native life forms chakra instead. Which humans gleefully adapted to and took advantage of so it's their chakra now bitch. (This isn't too far off from my usual hcs about how canon chakra being from space works actually)

So now all of space is fucking terrified of this deathworld where the most dangerous parasitic species in the cosmos was just. Fucking ate. Not even by the lifeforms or like military might. But by the planet itself just fucking uno reversing them.

Everyone is TERRIFIED of the human race after that. They took the otsutsuki source of power and just. Used it as their own. The ultimate adaptable race got handed some crazy wack shit power and said "no take backsies". So Earth was designated as a "go there if you want to get devoured like an entire branch of the otsutsuki did" quarantine zone

Except we all know people don't like to listen to that shit, and think humans could be dangerously cool warriors or fighters or cool exotic pets. So someone kidnaps a very confused Tobirama who is EXTRA exotic because of his 'coloring'.

What proceeds is a very pissed off and emotional Hashirama coming after his only remaining brother and hunting him down (with MUCH chaos and destruction in the process) while Tobirama was at first squicked by being treated like a wild animal, but already broke himself free ages ago. He's been 'kidnapped' or 'enslaved' by one ship after the other as he actually studies the aliens around him more than they're learning about him, then when they go too far with some bullshit he busts out and goes and finds the next group of suckers. All is fair because if they didn't actually try to hurt him or experiment invasively on him he wouldn't destroy their ships.

Then a very confused and horrified Madara and Izuna find a deathworlder held 'prisoner' and 'rescue' him for his own safety. Tobirama is fine with this. A much nicer group of aliens who let him study them just as safely and respectfully as he studies them? He's having the time of his life.

Madara and Izuna are not having a good time. They are terrified both for and of this deathworlder who keeps trying to poke them. Hashirama is still tearing apart like entire slave networks trying to find his baby brother. The mokuton just needs carbon and water to work. It *works in space.* Aliens across the galaxy are fucking trembling.

At some point someone attacks the Uchiha ship or whatever and Tobirama just fucking. Obliterates them with a water dragon. Goes and starts poking their corpses.

I’ve always thought that the line about how Itachi, even as a child, “thought like a Hokage” was one of the most damning indictments in the series of the entire village system.

He “thought like a Hokage” and therefore he slaughtered innocents who had nothing to do with a planned coup.

He “thought like a Hokage” and therefore he sent his seven-year-old brother into a coma where he relived the deaths of his kin over and over, in a successful attempt to fill him with hatred, though an unsuccessful attempt to get his brother to be loyal to the village.

He “thought like a Hokage” and therefore he joined a terroristic group that took any job no matter how vile at a cut rate price, and assisted in the murders of innocent jinchuuriki like Yugito Nii, in order to maintain his cover.

He “thought like a Hokage” and therefore he believed that the ends justify the means.

Unfortunately the Naruto manga never actually fulfilled its promise of reforming the shinobi system and therefore to the very end, all of these choices by Itachi are held up as more or less good and noble, if tragic, choices. As “the only thing he could have done.” As what it means to be a ninja.

Naruto was supposed to be a different kind of Hokage. A Hokage that changed the Hyuuga, that would find a true peace.

sennokami‌:

In Japan, there is a mountain range called the Iizuna range. There is a mountain in it also called Iizuna (or Izuna), and this mountain is also one of five mountains dubbed the “Five Mountains of Northern Shinshu”.

The other four mountains are: Mount Myoko (妙高山), Mount Kurohime (黒姫山), Mount Togakushi (戸隠山) and Mount Madarao (斑尾山).

(Madara, Madarao. Potato, potato.)

Adding to this, Mt. Izuna is famous for being the home of a daitengu (Izuna Gongen). Five mountains, five brothers, connections to tengu – it adds up.

OP I LOVE this theory and I hope this doesn’t come across as raining on your parade–I think it can definitely still be made to work, but there are some issues.

First off, strong points! 斑尾 is parsed as Madara-o, and the first kanji is actually the one used for Madara’s name in Chinese translations. It means “spotted, speckled” and the second character means “tail” (in the sense of a mountain range, the shortest one–indeed, Madarao is the shortest peak in the range, which fills me with glee).

Izuna or Iizuna 飯綱 in the mountain name is also the Japanese word for the common weasel, mustela nivalis. Since we already know that the Uchiha like naming people after weasels (Itachi = Japanese weasel, mustela itatsi), I think this is an exceptionally strong candidate to be what Kishimoto truly intended to reference in his name. VERY GOOD WORK HERE!!!!! I’m only mad that I didn’t work this out myself.

Togakushi (戸隠) is also a FANTASTIC name for a ninja because it’s related to a historical school of ninjutsu from the 11th century, 戸隠流, “the flow of the concealed door”.

Okay now time for the drawbacks regarding the other two mountains. 

Kurohime means “black princess”. So… not an ideal name for a boy. But you could do the Madarao approach, lop off the last character, and then it’s Kuro, which would mean only “black”.

Myoko is even trickier because not only does the name sound feminine as a whole, but lopping off the last character doesn’t work, because 妙 is still a feminine character and name (it has the “woman” radical). Since we’re dealing with a boy, I’d go for the second character 高 instead, which could be pronounced a number of ways, but I’d go for Kou so it would sound the most like the mountain’s name. (It means “tall”.)

If you’re curious about birth order, here’s what I would do, based on the mountain’s order from north to south:

Uchiha Kou Uchiha Madara Uchiha Kuro Uchiha Togakushi Uchiha Izuna

Bonus bonus: this is a volcanic range, as one would expect in Japan but still. Mount Myoko is actually still an active volcano!

It’s finally figured out (fanfic writers rejoice, we finally have sorta-ish canon names for the three other brothers!). I stumbled on this during a wikipedia trawl and lemme tell ya – I was really surprised by how it all worked out. I like your meta on the other three names, because I was scratching my head on what to do with them once I realized some of them weren’t quite right for boys.

(Which honestly could’ve been avoided if Kishi simply let Madara have sisters tbh)

First let's estimate Naruto's age and when he first met Hiruzen, and his age throughout the flashbacks.

This is the first time Naruto met Hiruzen, as he questions who he is, at this time he's likely between the ages of 4 and 5. I say this because, in this same episode "Naruto and Hinata" (Episode 480) during Hinata's part, she met Neji for the first time. She had just turned 3, while Neji was 4. Naruto's birthday is October 10th and Hinata's is December 27th. He also seemed older during his half of the episode. Therefore Naruto was already 3. For a photo, here:

So for starters...WHY is he just outside, and just discovered Hinata and was like "I don't have anyone, but I don't cry." This raises questions and has plotholes, like where was he living who got him that jacket and scarf, who was feeding him, and things that need explaining.

Onto the next one:

Naruto met Hiruzen, and he comes through to give him his monthly allowance. Once again between 4, 5, or 6 since it was the same episode, he is living independently and is being given funds from Hiruzen, in order to take care of himself.

Next:

He seems to be about 7 or 8 here, this was when he met Yota, and all that stuff.

Next:

He was likely a solid 11 or 12, this was before Iruka accepted Naruto for he was and not for Kurama's past actions.

Now lets back track. If we look at the information gathered he started living alone when he was very young and we all kniw this, however Kushina's dying wish was for Naruto to be taken care of. We don't see Hiruzen really do much, but add to Naruto's pain. He told him his parents had died during the Ninetails attack the day he was born (Episode 257)

Naruto then tells him that he didn't ask about that since he had heard it before, Hiruzen then looks at him and walks away saying something along the lines of "There's no use in learning that, it won't bring the dead back." AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE HE IS ALREADY DOING A BAD JOB. Naruto should have at least been told about his clan, or about his parents personalities, just something about them so he could know just a little about where he comes from he didn't even need to know their names or what they did in rhe village until he met them, but a little something would have been nice. Not to mention how Danzo affected the situation, he was the one who told the village that Naruto was Kurama's jinchuriki, despite the fact that it was taboo in the village.

I don't know what Danzo thought everyone knowing Naruto was the jinchuriki of the Leaf would do for the village positively, because it could've had a negative impact on the village. What would've happened if Naruto decided to say "ya know what, y'all hate me and I hate you, I'm out, and I'll be back to annihilate you all." We know Naruto at some point started to return the hatred of the villagers, and he eventually had to rid himself of these negative feelings towards them in order to overcome his hatred.

Overall Naruto didn't seem to resent Hiruzen, and had a pretty good relationship with him during the start of Naruto before he eventually dies. As far as Naruto's childhood he did a pretty doodoo job, but when Naruto got old enough to take care of himself he didn't need as much support. Another question is who took care of Naruto as a baby?

BONUS:

Sasuke wasn't told to stay away from Naruto because Kushina and Mikoto were friends 😌

Also:

like team 7 summons are gangster frog , emo snake and eldritch being bigger than the god tree with an unknown age who breaks the summoning rules , that lives alone in a place never touched by humanity that has carried everyone in that series (pein , the war)