asexual disaster

EVERYONE STOP TELLING ME HOW OLD YOU WERE IN 2008 I DONT WANNA HEAR THAT SHIT

SOME OF YOU SHOULD BE AT THE OPRHANGE

preschool. I meant preschool.

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

It is not enough to get into a comfy sleeping position- one must go through several and spin like a rotisserie chicken to arrive at the position you started with.

i’m so thirsty… won’t you use /water to water me?

/water

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

love the phrase "but I digress." yes I temporarily got lost in the moors I wander in my mind but don't worry I'm self-aware about it

i think something a lot of people don't get is that years of mocking your child, even in jest, does in fact tend to get under their skin

a decade or two of even light verbal harassment is very much accentuated when it's an authority figure you are in every meaningful way subservient to

no you do not need to hold fictional characters "accountable". they are not real.

do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time