what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

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what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

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#letsallpoison
Can I hit or do I have to pay tribute to the rest of your polycule first
Twenty bushels of millet to milady with the neopussy. Twenty five to the it/she because it does the dishes most often.
hey can you guys keep an eye on my red explosive barrels while i go take a nap
do NOT smoke weed beside them

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This dock is holding a Greg on it’s Held. If you even care
me when they call my name at mcdonals (i am approaching the counter)
here you go sir
thank you
Saw a comment calling The Pitt "the hospital yaoi show" when the only canon queer relationship is between two women
getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes
one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."
My very first time in Boston. I was absolutely miserable, trying to drag my giant suitcase up a lengthy set of stairs in the pouring rain. This guy who had already reached the top looked back at me with the most pure expression of disgust I’ve ever seen in anyone’s eyes, marched back down the stairs, grabbed my suitcase, carried it to the top, left it there for me, and walked away without ever saying a word. I think about him often.
For the people in the notes going "why is Boston like this": a) the insults are a way to show you have no ulterior motives when helping someone (and don't need to be thanked or repaid), and b) Boston was settled by the Irish
also the Italians. mixing Irish and Italian sociocultural attitudes had the effect of multiplying the Sass Levels by the power of infinity, in the sense that you get all of the clever dry wit of the Irish and all of the bitchy gossipy condensation of the Italians rolled into one very stereotypically overly-friendly American package.
also worth noting that who you are to them doesn’t matter. they’ll talk to strangers like that and will also talk to their best friends like that. they’re just Like That.
More from the notes:
as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.
The children yearn to be Mewtwo

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"there's no way toby can wrap all this up in just 2 chapters!"
toby, preparing to drop chapter 6 chapter 1:
deltarune fans in 2031 sitting through chapter 6 chapter 5 intermission 25 when they thought the whole thing would be done three years ago:
trans girls are allowed to be annoying and stereotypical and socially inept and hyperactive and hypersexual and various types of animalgirl and there's nothing you can do about it. in fact if you're mean to that skirt go spinny reddit trans girl i'm stealing your entire house
You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this
Please, how do you know this?
quicksand does not have any hands
You can make a movie with where the only white character is a man named Ray Cism whose one line of his 16 seconds of screen time is “I seriously hate women and minorities.” and you’ll find fifty bajillion reader x Ray Cism fanfics and renaissance style drawings of him with a halo of golden light

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i have no idea why i made this