Ikami Igami

I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.

I'd love to share my art with everyone be it either drawing or writing.

But I'm too scared to do that.

Because you can't really escape from putting part of yourself into art.

And it's not even that I'm afraid that people will see me and hate me for it.

But it's more that I'm scared that it'll end up the same way like before.

With me ruining everything.

Because my issues.. what even they are?

Are they even real?

Or just made up by me so others would feel pity for me?

They feel real to me.

But time and time again my suffering wasn't visible.

And the only thing that was, was that I'm weird and annoying.

So maybe that's all it is.

Because emotions are just stupid.

Why I always have to make it such a big of a deal?

And over what?

That I feel wrong?

That I feel like I was born twisted?

No one should have to put up with all of this.

Because this is my problem and mine alone.

Because if I'm a failure so maybe at least I can not bother others with this.

And I know that the art I make reflects all of that.

And I know.

I know that people can feel it.

That they can feel how wrong I am.

How my existence is wrong.

That's why I struggle with my art.

Because art reflects the author in one way or the other.

And I really don't want to bother.

So why post my art?

For everyone to see how messed up I am?

Especially if it only makes others disturbed and not even feel noticed.

Somehow others art resonate with poeple.

And mine not.

Probably because it makes them as uncomfortable as me.

I'm rotten.

So my art is as well.

And no one really likes rotten things.