Balks are so complicated. If you sat me down and asked me to write out, to the best of my understanding, the Major League Baseball rule book, the section for ābalksā would look something like this.
BALK RULES!Ā IMPORTANT!
1.Ā You canāt just be up there and just doinā a balk like that.
1a.Ā A balk is when you
1b.Ā Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the
1c.Ā Let me start over
1c-a.Ā The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You canāt do that.
1c-b.Ā Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he canāt be over here and say to the runner, like, āIām gonna get ya! Iām gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!ā and then just be like he didnāt even do that.
1c-b(1).Ā Like, if youāre about to pitch and then donāt pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense?
1c-b(2).Ā You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it.
1c-b(2)-a.Ā Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then thereās the balk you gotta think about.
1c-b(2)-b.Ā Fairuza Balk hasnāt been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasnāt typecast as that racist lady inĀ American History X.
1c-b(2)-b(i).Ā Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse.
1c-b(2)-b(ii).Ā āget in mah bellahā āĀ Adam Water, āThe Waterboy.ā Haha, classicā¦
1c-b(3).Ā Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of
2.Ā Do not do a balk please.
And now, at last, I can point to a balk and say, āsee? He did something! That is a balk!ā Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Mike Pelfrey.
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