like the rock

stephanie thanked us for being there and shared a little bit of her background as an immigrant

there was an empty seat next to andy which supposedly belonged to andre, who couldnt make it

they then preceded to roast andre through a series of letters “from him” that penned his support for trump

they did a table read of goof scripts chelsea wrote -- the first had the characters obsess over chelseaperetti.com with hilarious over-the-top versions of themselves and the second had them cuss every other word (highlight: boyle saying “biotch”)

invited series writer phil jackson on the stage for “feedback” on chelsea’s script and then he presented his own script that was prefaced as “a scene from the season six finale”

ofc everyone was freaking tf out until phil was like “alright pan to the bullpen. everyone sitting at their respect desks, sweating due to unbearable heat. we’re in the deep south. 1938.”

continues an absurd script where hitchcock ends up poisoning everyone and is also jake’s dad 

oh and everyone has southern accents

q&a time! someone asked who melissa would cast for amy’s 7 bros and she immediately said lin and proceeded w diego luna, javi muñoz, and more

my memory is failing me but i asked a q about any fun stories they had from comic con and andy said that on the bus ride back to los angeles, terry made the bus stop at in n out and actually said “terry’s hungry” in the third person (further proving that they all are their character)

lovely lovely comments about representation for latinas and the lgbtq+ community!!

someone asked what each actor wanted to see their character do in the future and chelsea basically mic dropped while saying “disband ICE”

after everyone basically bowed to her, chelsea was then like “now i want some white girls to say im their inspiration”

joe (in response to the q) said he wants to see boyle judge top chef

someone asked about favorite guest star and andy jokingly said “sterling k brown -- he’s emmy nominated” and mentioned sterling several times in light of his emmy snub (all in good fun ofc)

chelsea really had to pee for the last few questions and ran off the stage, saying “no one talk bad about me!”

joel told a really cute story about how he was born and raised in minnesota but always dreamed about living in brooklyn, eventually moved there w his wife and studied theater, and finally ended up in a show called brooklyn nine nine

some gal asked a q and then after they answered, she fangirled saying “i just wanna say that andy samberg has made eye contact with me twice” and then andy proceeded to lift his left hand and point to his wedding band and it was so cute and funny

sidenote i am 800% more attracted to andy after seeing him in person; didn’t know that was possible

again memory failing me but i will update if anything comes to mind

in summary: this cast is a gift from god … so wholesome …. so pure

if you made it all the way through my shifty writing, i applaud you

UPDATE 7/24: lmao i just remembered that the cast has a running set joke where bc they’re actors, they can’t end taping a scene, which is usually signifies by the director/crew “cut cut,” so when they’re tired and want a take to end, they pretend there’s a bird in the ceiling and yell “caw caw”

they said andre is the worst perpetrator of this and sometimes just flaps his arms by his side to pretend he’s a bird