Stay Broke

One father briefly forgets their child’s birthday? All men must be bad fathers, right?

One man burns dinner and suddenly all men cant cook?

One man on the street catcalls a woman and suddenly all men are creeps?

Your one boyfriend cheated on you and suddenly “all men cheat”?

Literally hundreds of posts on this website of one man saying something you dont like, and the common response is along the lines of “why are men like this?”

The same people reblogging this will unapologetically make sweeping generalizations about men. That men are stupid, or incapable, or untrustworthy, or dangerous. There are entire buzzfeed articles about this.

If a single man fails at something or does something bad, you will generalize men as a whole as having the same faults. And god help us if men chine up with the entirely correct “not all men” response.

Women regularly give men opportunities, give them the benefit of the doubt. Just because they say “men are pigs” in a moment of hurt or anger it doesn’t diminish the fact that women DO have to perform better than men to be noticed. I’ve said men suck in anger, but I know they don’t. Some Do. That’s just how communication of pain works. Applying logic to someone who, say, has been assaulted by a man? As a member of the human species, that’s just out of pocket. I see constant reminders that men don’t care about women’s trauma unless they go through specific hoops to prove it wasn’t “deserved”. Women don’t get to fail. We have to prove we were wronged. Every time.

And I can say this anecdotally because that’s how you came in to a commentary about the uniquely unfair issue surrounding women as gamers and how frequently we come up against hateful boys with low expectations.

Asians for instance experience hate crimes the most, not from white people who are the majority, but from black people. Should asian Americans get to make generalizing and hateful comments about black people? #killallblacks? “Black’s are pigs”? Mocking “not all blacks”? Your stereotypes and generalizations have consequences.

I literally mentioned things men receive the same treatment for. Men cant make mistakes while around children for example, or they are deemed incompetent or untrustworthy around them.

I also brought up that the bad done by the very very very small number of men who are criminals is used to represent how all men think or behave. Again, this would not be allowed if used on another group such as African Americans.

“We have to prove we were wronged”. No, you just need proof when making an accusation. Such generalizing comments are unfair. And if your personal trauma causes you to negatively generalize a group, go to therapy. Black people for instance lead in violent crimes in the US. There are tons of people who have been victimized by someone who happens to be black. But that is not and has never been a valid excuse to generalize black people as dangerous, bad, or untrustworthy. Why? Because it’s bigotry. Why do you get to do it to men?

“Where are you when men-”

Okay? Where also am I when black people-?

As a black male, I am not responsible for what other black people do, or what other men do. Gang violence in Detroit doesn’t represent me. The facebook live torture doesn’t represent me. Nick Cannon and his millions of followers agreeingwith him that white people are inferior does not represent me as a black person. Same with men. You being assaulted by someone doesn’t represent me as a man. You being harassed or (I suspect) merely disagreed with doesn’t represent me as a man. You being wronged by any man who isn’t me does not represent me as a man and should not be used to generalize or hate me.

I mean…where were *you* when I get harassed by radfems for including men in equality?

Where were *you* when my dad’s three ex girlfriends threatened his life (knife, road rage, etc) when he broke up with them?

Where were *you* when all of those female teachers raped their students?

Do their actions represent you as a woman? Are you partially responsible for what they do? No. That is entirely unfair. And generalizing you as part off those groups, as dangerous, as sexist, as a predator, is unfair.

If you don’t like women being generalized as incompetent, or as rapists, or as untrustworthy, why would you do it to men? Why is it only okay for you to do it to groups that you aren’t a part of?

Why are you talking about Asian people?

Genuinely baffled. Your thinking is so black and white I just cannot relate, maybe that's my issue here but I don't think people are that simple.

Btw the fuck does that nitty "(I suspect) disagreed with" mean? You don't know dick about my life or what I've been through. Loaded fucking language there in a post mouthing off about how bad it is to make assumptions about people.

I have no idea why we're talking about this shit on a post about gaming... but if I have to explain to you why people who are, for example, raped by a man would then go on to be scared of men in general I swear to god. That, to me, smacks of zero understanding of how trauma works. You're expecting their adrenal glands to be like "oh, don't supply me with cortisol right now cause that would be bigoted of me". The same shit extends to men being distrustful or having trigger reactions towards people who resemble their abusers. Bigotry? For sure, but who the fuck demands reason from someone who is hurt like that? That shit takes time and understanding.

"Go to therapy?" sheesh whatever, dude

Where was I when female teachers rape their students? I was here, my guy, pissed off and livid for the rape of children and the complicity of adult dudes saying "lucky lad".

Where was I when you get harassed by rad fems? Idk dude you wanna gimme a login to your account and I'll be right on that for you. That sucks. Radfems suck. You can quote me on that.

Where was I when your dad went through all that? Idk how old you are but I'm guessing I was a kid or something. I know a guy who got stabbed by his missus more than once and they're still together that shit is wild. She's super nice too, weirdly. Male domestic abuse is a huge issue. Did you see that one guy on TV who refused to press charges against his missus and he full on died in hospital after cops begged him to leave her? That is insane.

Did you think I wouldn't care? I care a lot. Anyway all of this rounds out to my final point. It's super important, crucial actually :

One father briefly forgets their child’s birthday? All men must be bad fathers, right?

One man burns dinner and suddenly all men cant cook?

One man on the street catcalls a woman and suddenly all men are creeps?

Your one boyfriend cheated on you and suddenly “all men cheat”?

Literally hundreds of posts on this website of one man saying something you dont like, and the common response is along the lines of “why are men like this?”

The same people reblogging this will unapologetically make sweeping generalizations about men. That men are stupid, or incapable, or untrustworthy, or dangerous. There are entire buzzfeed articles about this.

If a single man fails at something or does something bad, you will generalize men as a whole as having the same faults. And god help us if men chine up with the entirely correct “not all men” response.

Women regularly give men opportunities, give them the benefit of the doubt. Just because they say "men are pigs" in a moment of hurt or anger it doesn't diminish the fact that women DO have to perform better than men to be noticed. I've said men suck in anger, but I know they don't. Some Do. That's just how communication of pain works. Applying logic to someone who, say, has been assaulted by a man? As a member of the human species, that's just out of pocket. I see constant reminders that men don't care about women's trauma unless they go through specific hoops to prove it wasn't "deserved". Women don't get to fail. We have to prove we were wronged. Every time.

And I can say this anecdotally because that's how you came in to a commentary about the uniquely unfair issue surrounding women as gamers and how frequently we come up against hateful boys with low expectations.