Stuff and Whatever

howdy!

Assamites: The most impenetrable discourse you've ever seen in your life. The kind of callouts where you need 350 years of context and several PhDs to figure out what the person's actually being accused of. Despite the fact that maybe 10 non-vampires on earth know what any given post means, it still gets 80,000 notes worth of argument.

Brujah: An otherwise blank page that simply says "if you venmo $20 to this account I will eat your landlord no questions asked"

Followers Of Set: As a group of soulless immortal monsters dedicated to spreading wickedness in service of an ancient god of evil, the Followers Of Set's profiles sometimes make the top ten most fucked up things you've seen online today.

Gangrel: Extremely distressing furry art pages.

Giovanni: They reanimate dead memes and send them after you. More then one prince has been destroyed after having a LolCat captioned "I can has your soul?" myspaced to them.

Lasombra: The Lasombra don't show up on camera so instead of putting out content they just break into your house while you sleep.

Malkavian: Listen. Listen. You look me in the eyes and tell me you aren't following at least one blog obviously run by Malkavians right now.

Nosferatu: Monsterfuckers but the other way round.

Ravnos: Sadly if I continue White Wolf will delete my blog for bringing up that time they wrote the Ravnos.

Toreador: Toreadors have literally never experienced anything they have loved more then Instagram. The entire clan has gone feral, several elders have been killed over follower counts and the Toreador Antediluvian reentered torpor because it couldn't stop Instagram scrolling. It's a fucking bloodbath.

Tremere: You know those "occult safety" tumblrs that say things "don't use Ouija boards on Halloween"? The opposite of those. "Hey kids! Break a cursed doll over your head while yelling the true name of Satan! It'll be cool and fun!"

Tzimisce: Yet more unrealistic beauty standards for women.