Fridge

well .

i think i’ve been awaiting this, a long, long time now .

i don’t even know why i bothered carrying on after she . . nevermind . i think it’s better i don’t even mention it at all . but i guess i continued, so i could cling to them, as i always had . 

they were helpless, though . i was in the beginning .  

. . how funny, how the tables turn these days .

i wish i could remember those days better . should i really have cut? my head feels as if it’s full of feathers . i’m tired .

all i can grasp clearly now, are . . flowers . 

red . 

a distinct bulb, they possessed in the center .

but weaved into all types of crafts, i remember more distinctly, crowns and such . silly and childish but so pure in nature, weren’t they ?

i think i can remember the night sky, too .

or, at least the projection that stood in substitute for it .

. . stars . so many, scattered against the backdrop of black . or was it . . navy ? it’s getting a bit fuzzy around the edges . so is the gold ? yellow . and the white, and pitch - black .

.

i’m so tired . 

tired of going on with nothing forward . 

i don’t have a future . not anymore . not since she disappeared in a flash of sparks and flames, and not since they took the last of their painful breaths .

there’s so much blood . i don’t mind it, but that doesn’t mean i want to look at it . it’s starting to get sticky even if i’m in water . but i can feel myself starting to fall asleep . so i won’t have to feel it anymore . i won’t have to feel any single thing . nothing . i’ll feel nothing .

an eternal, dreamless sleep .

i was lucky to be here this long . to even have this opportunity to be free in a final decision, that’s mine . that tells of me .   . . me .

. . . 

solei ? lang ? and others— god, my head—

a flame finally let to burn out on it’s own choices . a stargazer . a cloud - watcher . mismatched eyes . a child who had just wanted their parent . a cheerful smile . an intricately made origami crane, paired with colors of rose fading into gold . 

私が私になるのを助けてくれてありがとう .

永別 .

. 

.

.

.

.

“auri? aurien?”

“. . . is it you?”

sunshine yellow eyes . 

white and black split hair .

. . haha .

i smile .

———————————————————————————————————

ok it’s done! i thankfully, instead of just procrastinating and putting it off as i usually do, i powered through this in . . 1 day and barely much of another, lolol

anyways! yeah um . aurien is finally dead . i’d put her at around 22 to 24? maybe? but yeah . i honestly, at first, just thought to announce it on her blog, but i changed my mind since, i felt that she should get more then that . though my writing is a bit rough because i havent wrote in a loooooooong time

and i know s39 interactions were also long time ago now—but i also want to thank everyone who helped her, through interactions and such, as she said herself, become herself! i know aurien started as a sona—but i’ve found a bit ago that she’s not really much of one anymore—she’s her own character! or atleast a fleeting sense of self i had, haha . 

mentions, and symbols for characters i put in, in order :

lang belongs to @awaggaa

solei belongs to @shakingparadigm

castor belongs to @bluemoonscape

tov belongs to @ivanttakethis

azure belongs to @4listr

sai belongs to @junebluues

stasya belongs to @billwasnot

vermillion belongs to @icequeuebe

& jae and evon belong to @kofeedoggo

& tagging @alien-til-i-stage!

i’m really sorry if anyone feels the symbols i put to represent their characters don’t represent them well! : ( or if i missed or added someone who was or wasn’t aurien’s friend since i was going off memory for that whole paragraph to be honest . . i’ve been trying to be different from who i was back then as i know now of my general ignorance of how i acted, but now i sorta . well . i cringe . and get embarrassed every time i see how i acted way back then ahahaha . . also, the japanese might translate badly since i just asked google to translate the message from english to japanese