and all i’m doing is SURVIVING. surviving. surviving. HOW DO I START LIVING? (x)
ind. priv. sel. zane from legos ninjago.

★
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@iceled
and all i’m doing is SURVIVING. surviving. surviving. HOW DO I START LIVING? (x)
ind. priv. sel. zane from legos ninjago.

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went to update my about but then i slipped and started writing a Whole Thing
“astra inclinant, sed non obligant.”
The stars incline us, they do not bind us!
pokes my nose in
jay
The silence flood in for a moment; nothing was being said, no words, no sounds– just silence. And where there’s silence, there are troublesome thoughts invading the ninja’s mind. It seemed like Zane was a lost of words. Or so Jay had thought, which was quite unusual, right? However, those thoughts simply popped when a pair of arms wrapped around him. He had to blink, realizing with no delay that Zane was hugging him.
A hug of comfort—— one that soon brought tears to his eyes and those tears rolled down his freckled cheeks. The hug had unleashed his emotions, breaking them apart and cracking that fake happiness. It was a good thing Zane was hugging him, it was a way where Jay could hide his sad expression and tears by resting his forehead on Zane’s shoulder.
A soft hiccup mixed with the softest of chuckles came from him. He can’t hold back the sobs. Damn it. He lets out a shaky breath, now trying to build up back his composure. “It’s——”
He breaths in and out– deep breaths; in and out. “——It’s okay. You… You did what you had to do, and you did what any brave ninja would’ve done. And yeah– people did suffer. Emotionally. I felt so blue– ah, no pun intended.” Oh god, that pun did make him chuckle just a little bit.
He leans back, shaking his head and smiling more genuine. He then playfully, but in a soft way, jabbed at Zane’s side. “C’mon. Stop apologizing. You’re back. That’s all that matters. And I’m glad you’re back. I’m so glad that we found you. I’m just happy that you’re here.” Jay said with a happy smile.
“And now you’re here. I can start with my ice puns again. How cool is that? Haha. Sorry.” Despite that little apology, Jay chuckles once again. Honestly. He was just… so happy that Zane was here– all back together in one piece. And yeah, he was saddened by the past, by how Zane had died, and by the thoughts and memories. But Jay always found a way to bring back the chuckles and those chuckles did help build up his happiness a bit.
as much as he might hate admitting it to himself, it changed him too. he never talks about what exactly happened that day and afterwards ( especially afterwards. ) and he would prefer to keep it the way. being lost, left for dead, memories scrambled from the trauma. the crushing isolation, ( isolation that he’s so very use to. but he shouldn’t be. ) ( he shouldn’t be. ) he thinks the worst part was how CRAMPED and TIGHT and SUFFOCATING it was.
but that is the past now, and he would rather never have to confront it again. so maybe it’s WRONG that he’s glad it’s him prodding at jay rather than the other way around. ( not that he would EVER admit to anything being WRONG. )
when jay moves to draw away he lets go with no hesitation. knowing it must be ENOUGH now. how jay seems to quickly shift the mood, he will never understand. from bawling his eyes out to making PUNS. it blindsides him, sometimes. ( maybe he’s reading the mood wrong. )
and subconsciously he wipes the tears from jay’s eyes, draws back further and cocks his head to the side ever so slightly. he doesn’t know what he’d do without him, any of them really, after spending so much time with them. they’ve practically GROWN UP together and yet there’s still subtlties he can’t entirely pick up on yet. that’s not what matters most to him, though. what matters is that they’re all still alive.
even if it took him a little longer to find his way back home again, he wouldn’t change his decision.
❝ i’m glad to BE back, truthfully. i was so lost without you all... ❞ it’s BETTER than the alternative. BETTER than the isolation. BETTER than being half - dead in some pile of rubble. BETTER than being locked away. BETTER than being DEAD.

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and all i’m doing is SURVIVING. surviving. surviving. HOW DO I START LIVING? (x)
ind. priv. sel. zane from lego’s ninjago.
I have so many unpolished doodles of these ninjas
"Cole called me a himbo the other day. I don't know what that means."
he tries not to chuckle, he really does, but… it’s just… so funny. ❝ kai… a himbo is an attractive yet unintellegent man… cole’s not entirely wrong. ❞
jay: ‘ we learn to laugh in the midst of the inferno ’
【 prompt. acc. @raitcningu 】
he’s never been one to do such. always the serious type he is. ( it’s easier for him to UNDERSTAND that way, he thinks. ) ( he may be the smart one but he’s never been ADEPT at expressing himself. ) so the comment catches him. how DOES one learn to laugh in such stressful situations? that's always JAY’S area of expertise.
never his.
and will never be his.
but yet he’s requested of such. it’s CONFUSING, really, how it came to this. four complete strangers coming together with one purpose. to safeguard the BALANCE in the world. but no matter what they do it just never STAYS in balance. ( how long can they keep doing this until too much becomes too much? )
zane hums in response, eyes turning away and fixating on the landscape of their HOME before them. ❝ maybe you can do that, jay, but i don’t think that’s something i will ever be able to do, myself. ❞
anyways zane’s got claustrophobia and he’s autistic yes i do make the rules

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credit
‘ something’s terribly sick in my head ’ ‘ these are my darkest thoughts , the bad things lurking in the closet ’ ‘ is this how i tear the monsters from my body ? ’ ‘ i want everything to stop ’ ‘ fuck your immaculate existence ’ ‘ today i want my heart to tremble ’ ‘ i want my teeth to shatter bone ’ ‘ today i want killing to mean living ’ ‘ nothing you do can hurt me but you better try ’ ‘ you can’t live without burning your comfort and safety as firewood ’ ‘ maybe the ghosts learned how to build stairs into the mountainside ’ ‘ believe me when i say there is no pride in this ’ ‘ i want to be one of those city sprites among termites ’ ‘ cleanse this body through tears and emesis ’ ‘ circumvention was futile , damnable ’ ‘ we’re all burning ’ ‘ we learn to laugh in the midst of the inferno ’ ‘ i realize now that i am the one out of place ’ ‘ i want to destroy all the parts that aren’t working ’ ‘ i never knew i had the capacity for cruelty ’ ‘ i condemn myself to failure without batting an eyelash ’ ‘ choosing to protect ourselves is not failure ’ ‘ nothing is working ’ ‘ at some point i stopped , i sank ’ ‘ breathing seems so difficult now ’ ‘ living was easy as breathing once upon a time ’ ‘ i don’t think it’s living , but it’s not hurting either ’ ‘ my body is a room made of glass walls and wooden floors ’ ‘ today , i ache for somewhere to hide ’ ‘ how do i turn the light on in my eyes ? ’ ‘ please , no one look at me today ’ ‘ i mused over all the times i had prayed to a god i do not believe in ’ ‘ the gods died laughing ’ ‘ you must learn fear ’ ‘ let’s not be enemies tonight ’ ‘ hold my hand while our greatest tragedies are lost and forgotten ’ ‘ you are only a murderer if someone cares ’ ‘ dreaming is so painful and i wish i would stop ’ ‘ i can still love you with my eyes closed ’ ‘ i’m not sure why you’re acting surprised ’ ‘ let me pretend that i’m made of magic ’ ‘ i am a creature of contradictions ’ ‘ remember your strength , unchanging and eternal ’
alright so, i think i’ve got it figured out. zane’s primary styles are jujutstu and aikido.
jujutsu - joint locks & throwing techniques. its’ aim is the ability to use an attacker’s force against them and then counterattack. he incorporates older styles of jujutsu for if he’s going against a highly armored foe.
aikido - very similar to jujutsu, however it’s about joining the rhythm of the opponent in order to find the optimal position and timing, so then the opponent may be lead into their downfall. there’s also an emphasis on personal development and reflecting on spiritual background.
ninjago really came out when i was 11 huh
and all i’m doing is SURVIVING. surviving. surviving. HOW DO I START LIVING? (x)
ind. priv. sel. zane from lego’s ninjago.
anyways zane writes a lot of his experiences down because he’s afraid he’ll forget again!

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looks into camera like in the office.
MUSE ICON MEME
repost, do not reblog!
when happy:
when sad:
seeing something they want:
when their berserk button is pushed:
seeing someone they dislike:
Tagged by: @raitcningu tagging: @flamedevoured