Eye Broccoli: The Opposite of Eye Candy

Step 1: Be pissed off at another damn hole in a sock. Step 2: Take scissors to the arch support that doesn’t actually support anything. Step 3: Consider using it as a wrist support instead. Step 4: Use that little piece of heaven to hold up that bad ass bun.

Today I had a lovely English lady in her 80s say to me, "Excuse me deary, you have a sparkle on your face" as she proceed to try and brush off my nose ring.

Birds are the best at paintball. You never see them coming.

I received some great words of wisdom today. It applies to people who you work, date, or meet for the first time. If someone has all three then you keep them around. The three Cs are: Caring, Character, and Competent.

If you can't hear someone screaming your name over and over and over again while running towards you, your music is too LOUD. I am tired of people with earbuds being completing ignorant of the world around them. I don't care if you want to listen to music or avoid social interaction. BUT, when you are standing in a doorway or blocking someone with a stroller or a wheelchair from getting by, your music is too LOUD. Look the hell up or around you once in a while so the rest of us can actually get on with our days.

If you had to get a keyboard button as a tattoo, what would it be?

- “move back because if you are on the yellow line the doors won’t close” - “just wave your hand at the door you don’t even need to touch it” - “sorry bus driver I can’t move any more rear-er” -“how are you tonight on this crammed bus?” -“I’m going to have to tell the bus driver that the bus is too full, it’s a safety issue” -“the driver should stop telling people on now” -“would you mind telling me when my stop is coming up next, I can’t see anything standing sideways” -“thank you operator”

Stop and go traffic on a bus is the absolute worst. I still get car/shitty bus driver and traffic sick. UGH.