Humor Without A Voice

What Do You Want Me To Say? - Prologue (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/UiNb/NFUVzzyPPH "Hi, I'm Kate and this is my story. Not the press's, my school's or anyone else; it's mine."

I'm babysitting my mom’s boyfriend's daughters and one of them wanted soda and I said that if she could drink a glass of water I’ll let her. She said that she finished and handed me her cup. Late when I was sitting at the dining table I realized that she switched the cup full of water with an empty cup that looked exactly alike. So when she wasn’t looking I switched them and drank the soda as payback. I’ll wonder when she’ll notice

Update

When you try to pick pictures that would go with your character.

Okay, this would will because it describes the character easily for the readers.

But this character’s armor looks awesome and her title literally says 32 Illustrations For Anyone Who Thinks Women Make Badass Knights and I’m a feminist so I have to pick her.

But she looks so cold-hearted, I want the character to have some emotion

The other one looks like she’ll pick a fight with anyone, we need someone with some restraint

So it’s either cold hearted or fiery temper

Which one would be the best for the plot?

They both look the exact same way, except for their expression

That just makes it even harder!

So I’ve been reading a lot of stories of how aliens are curious about humans and their bonds with friends and animals. But what about family? Aliens are completely use to the idea of humans loving their friends and pets. They get briefed on it on a weekly basis but they never questioned if they love their family because it’s expected for it to happen without saying.

“So Commander what are we-” Gets cut off by sounds of yelling and screaming from the other room. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing Lieutenant, it’s just the Burch family. Let’s continue on shall we?”

“Why are they fighting each other Commander, aren’t they what they call ‘family’? Aren’t they suppose to like each other?”

“I don’t know Lieutenant. Let’s get them a mission so they can relieve some stress.”

Okay, so the aliens know that humans argue and fight with their family members on a day-to-day basis and try to keep them as far away as possible. Since they live in the same quarters it’s impossible for that to happen and they argue. One day, however, was supposed to be a relaxing day but got under attacked and held a human as a hostage. It was a member of the Burch family. The intruder had asked them to take them to their commander but the human spat on their face. This was to be expected since the human already had a bond with the crew.

The intruder got angry and said, tauntingly,” You are nothing but a weak pile of flesh.” At the end of the room, you see another human of the Burch family stand up with a pissed off look on their face. “Don’t you dare talk about them like that. Only I can say shit like that.” And then completely beats them up without hesitation. When they finished, they scolded their sibling for acting so irresponsibly saying, and I quote,” You know that if you get hurt I’m the one who’s gonna get blamed since I’m the oldest. I’m only doing this so I don’t get in trouble,” and began to argue once again. Finally, when they clean up the mess and the intruders had left, the Lieutenant can’t help but ask the human a question.

“Why did you help them when you obviously hate them.” The human gives him a small smile and shrugs their shoulders. “I honestly don’t know. There are some days where I hate them so much that I plan on how to murder them and make it look like an accident. I may not have chosen them or even what them but at the end of the day, they’re the only ones who accept me for who I am without hesitation since we’re family and are the only ones who understand how messed up our childhood was.” The human patted their shoulder and left the room. Only to argue with their family about how they needed to stop going through their stuff without permission.

Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your seats ‘cause it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. So I just got done getting my braces tightened, so I was already in a pissy mood because it hurt like hell. I called my dad and told him to pick me up at a specific spot so he wouldn’t have to drive around looking for me. I crossed the street and passed an ice cream shop and an old guy in a wheelchair. I ignored him because I didn’t want to be staring rudely at him. After a few minutes of walking, I felt like I was being watched but I pushed it away. When I car honked I thought that it was my dad but when I turned around it was just a car honking to a guy who was in the middle of the room. That was when I realized that it was the same old guy that I passed maybe five or ten minutes ago. I also realized that the reason that he was in the middle of the road was that he wanted to look at my ass.

I quickly turned around not wanting to make the situation even worse and began to walk faster. I saw my dad in the car and felt that everything would be alright since he was in my sight. However, that was when I saw the old guy sped up right behind me. I was praying that he wouldn’t talk to me and what fucking happened. He rolled right up next to me, looked me up and down and said suggestively,” Hey, ciao bella.” (Hey, hello beautiful)

“No grazie,” I said immediately (No thank you). But he still continued to follow me until I was a couple of feet away from my car. I busted my ass to the car and threw my backpack and myself in. My dad didn’t notice a thing. A fucking 60 or 80-year-old man just flirted with me! I’m probably over exaggerating his age but he should know better to hit on a teenage girl and follow her even though she said no. I never felt more disgusting, pissed, and scared in my life. Now I’m not trying to say that all guys are this way or something. I guess what I’m trying is if anybody is out there walking around by themselves please be careful. And I’m very sorry that I have to tell you this and I know that people tell you this a lot, especially to girls, but please don’t ignore them and label them as things that probably won't happen to you just as I did. I was taken completely by surprise and anybody could’ve taken advantage of that. So please, please prepare yourself and find clever ways of finding ways out of situations like this.

So in history class a while back we were talking about African culture and how easy it was to know where you’re from and how they can take comfort in that. My teacher said that it was not the same for Americans because we all come from different backgrounds and how it’s hard to tell us apart. I said,” Hey do you know one way you can tell us apart?” He looked at me wearily, knowing I was going to saw something weird. Cautiously he asked what to which I replied: ” Just take one whiff and you can smell freedom.”