Still got a lot of cutting to to, but I’m leaning out little by little! 👍
Byyyeeeeeee! 💀💀💀💀
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@iab1992
Still got a lot of cutting to to, but I’m leaning out little by little! 👍
Byyyeeeeeee! 💀💀💀💀

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Akhenaton “the Alien hybrid” pharaoh according to Ancient Alien theorists
The argument is “WhY dOesS AkHenAtOn lOok DiffreN to OhEr PhaRaOhs? ALIEMS????”
Here’s the answer and its a wild fucking ride, lemme tell you.
Akhenaton was a fucking revolutionary Pharaoh and almost single handedly tried to rewrite ALL of ancient Egypt’s religion during his rule. He;
1: Moved Egypt’s Capital to a new city further down the Nile called Akhenaton after himself which is entirely based on worshiping the singular god, Aten. 2: Established a new religion that saw a singular god called “Aten” rather than an entire pantheon and esentially said “Yeah all those other gods we’ve been worshiping for literally thousands of years? Yeah just throw those out. They’re not canon now” 3: Re-worked how ancient Egyptian art was drawn (and this is the big one) where he was essentially bored with the “Eyptian style” of art and instead urged all HIS depictions in art capture his appearance more accurately to real life. His frescos also, unlike any other pharoah, show him in domestic scenes, spending time with his wife and children in very mundane, every day situations
(an image of Akhenaton with his wife playing with their young children. Akhenaton is shown kissing one of his daughters in fatherly affection)
Akhenaton was not traditionally handsome (probably thanks to hundreds of years of inbreeding thanks to how Ancient Egyptian royalty worked) and did not want to be depicted in a way that wasn’t true to himself. So his image is always shown as gangly with long limbs, slightly over-weight with a belly, elongated features and pronounced lips.
So….. this kind of really REALLY fucking pissed off literally every high ranking priest in all of Egypt because they’re now, to put it plainly, out of a job. Akhenaton’s moving of the capital also severely crippled the religious structure, moving political power away from where most of the greatest temples were, and since the Pharoahs are meant to be living gods on Earth, what does it say when the gods of Earth don’t live in the same city any more?
Akhenaton dies from unknown reasons but most likely the same genetic disease that gave him his appearance (some have obviously suggested assassination but there is no proof of this that’s been found and it remains up for debate) and the priests and historians go about striking his name from history and destroying and defacing artwork depicting him and his new religion.
(whoops)
He is then excluded from the king lists and is referred by later Dynasties as “The Enemy” or “That Criminal” in archival records. When Akhenaton’s mummy was located his sarcophagus and funerary mask were both deliberately destroyed.
You may have heard of his wife, btw. Nefertiti.
You ever wonder why she’s called the most beauiful woman in history? It’s probably because she was one of the few Pharaoh women accurate sculpted to relfect what she really looked like, versus a stock style.
also fun fact, this most famous image of her is an incomplete wooden bust found in the ruins of a sculptors’ workshop, presumeably because she was killed before he could finish it and he was like “aw shit… NOW what do I do with this?”
Now the problem is, the priests can’t just appoint a brand new Pharaoh, because pharoahs are descended from the gods themselves and their blood can’t be mixed with that of mere mortals (which is why Egyptian pharaohs marry their mothers and sisters. To keep their godly blood “pure”). So, the hastily appoint Akhenaton’s son who is 9 years old as the new pharaoh (and of course the child will have advisors to help him rule until he is an adult… of course.)
Problem. Akhenaton’s son’s name is Tutankhaten. “Living Image of Aten” and that just won’t do. So 2 years into his reign (aged 11) his name is changed to Tutankhamun, “Living image of Amun”after the sun god Amun or Amun-Ra. The city of Akhenaton is abandoned and falls into ruin.
All is well and Tutankhamun’s kingdom is ruled by his advisors… until he’s about 18 or 19. Whoops! Now he’s an adult and probably wants to start actually doing his job as the ruler of Egypt.
Oh wait no nevermind. he conveniently died. We’re not sure how exactly because, oh… uhm… it seems there are no surviving records of King Tut’s final days! Whoops!
Ok that’s an over simplification. In truth, thanks to many… many… many…. MANY scans and autopsies, we now now Tut broke his knee recently before he died, had a very aggressive strain of malaria which led to a bone disease and also, due to being inbred as FUCK because of how Pharaohs work, also suffered from mild kyphoscoliosis (a curved spine), pes planus (flat feet), hypophalangism of the right foot (missing bone), bone necrosis of the second and third metatarsal bones of the left foot, and a club foot that was so bad he could not stand unless aided by walking sticks. However the exact cause of death is still unknown but it seems direct assassination is unlikely.
But anyway.
So King Tut dies as does the two stillborn children of his and Akhenaton’s family line reaches an end. It did not end well for Tut’s wife either as she disappears from history after a war which left Egypt defeated and her new husband, Ay the new Pharaoh, with a sudden second wife. After Ay’s death a new Pharaoh comes into power by usurping the throne and has a complete and utter “Stricken from history” campaign against all of Tutankhamun’s family, including father, mother, daughters, wife, half sisters, and all other family members.
King Tut is buried in an unusually small tomb most likely due to his sudden death, that became forgotten and buried.
Fast forward 3,245 years to 1915 and his tomb is discovered by Archaeologists. The tomb is one of the most intact and untouched tombs EVER discovered in the history of all Agyptian Pharoahs, and almost single-handedly caused an absolute obsession with Ancient Egyptian culture and kickstarted what we now call “Egyptology”. A fascination which has never truly died even in modern times today.
…..
Anyway Akhenaton wasn’t an alien.
The outfit I spend weeks planning in my head vs what I look like on the night of the event
Why is she ashy
Still don’t get how early/mid 2000 make up and prosthetics are light years better than the SHIT they’re doing now
It’s actually cause Jennifer Lawrence refused to come back if they did the rigorous make up still so they put her in a suit and less make up, why she looked so bad in apocalypse
you’ll never see me again 🧳✌🏽
FOLLOW LO•TI•ON ON INSTAGRAM
I was entertained
#ME AF

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I never needed something so much
jameelajamilofficial: If influencers and celebrities were actually honest with us about some of these Slimming/detox products… #itburns
Andro cast Charm Person and rolled a Nat 20 ✨
Love him!
Thicc and blue like the ocean
Daddy
chris evans w/ text posts about him

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YES! Perfection 😜
Thought you might like that
While we’re at it Tarzan could get it too. White dreads and all.
hey baize do you accept criticism on your posts
he’s a british man from the 1800s, he’s probably not circumcised, and he’s been living with gorillas. it doesn’t matter what he’s packing he’s probably got some of the strongest aged dick cheese under his hood…
Gorillas are actually pretty clean animals, and a nice river bath before the great dickdown of 1892 would clear any remains dirt right up
*throws holy water on this post*
*Washes Tarzans cock (yeah, I said it) with it
My ex and i were watching that a few years ago and she absolutely ruined the whole movie for me by saying “so how bad to you think he destroyed jane’s pussy the first time because gorilla’s ain’t exactly bout that gentle lovin”
She probably had months of construction work after the first time. Probably had to build a whole new pussy from scratch
We need more discussions like this
Thank you! The Tarzan dickscourse is so important. Like did you see the size of his thighs? If the dick didn’t kill you on contact the piston power from those thighs definitely would. Have you mad and crawling around the jungle like
Fellas, reblog this post with your best reaction images. I’m rebuilding my collection.
Bonjour
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Dad!
women dating men with bubble butts and not running that ass in the ground is homophobic and violent
have yall seen how straight men handle personal hygiene? wishing that experience on a woman is misogyny

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Fake news
A Full Face of Rhinestones
#listen I don’t watch Jenna Marbles#I’ve never subscribed to hr channel#but there’s one thing about her that I absolutely respect#she does NOT clickbait#she fucking COMMITS to whatever bull shit she says she’s gonna do#90% of her video titles LOOK like clickbait#but then the video is EXACTLY what the title says#how many balloons does it take to life my chihuahua off the ground#I DON’T KNOW JENNA WHY DON’T YOU FIND OUT#spends entire video reporting on increasingly annoyed Party City employees#as she ties over 100 helium balloons to a sling that her dog falls asleep in#while floating 4 feet above the ground#because she fucking found out how many balloons it took#‘MY DOG RATES SOAP’ says the video title#her Italian Greyhound has some kind of soap licking neurosis and shows clear preferences#by the end of the video her dog does indeed have a favorite brand of soap#I EAT DOG TREATS WITH MY DOGS#literally does exactly that and actually enjoys like 2 of them#I don’t follow her at all but DAMN does Jenna Marbles not fuck around#she just … does exactly what she says she will#like some kind of chaotic entity that combats clickbait by being exactly as absurd as the marketing implies
I love her so much