she groan on my tube till I eeaaauuuuuuuu

it's always "what were you doing at the devil's sacrament?" and never "how was the devil's sacrament? did you have a good time?"

Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.

Hi, um. How is being the necromancer's apprentice going for you OP?

You want I should raise dead, I raise dead, no problem. You want banish dead, no problem, have plenty more nitro. I do this, ten minutes.

CHUNKY STEW IS NOT BANISHMENT.

Chunky stew, very bad necromancer. We banish, no problem, no chunks. I give you number of cousin Yvgeny. Will power wash house, very good prices. No other necromancer does this for you.

Is....is...is Yvgeny....alive?

Eh. Is alive enough.

one day it'll happen to you. you will stay up a bit too late playing a video game and not get to bed on time. I've done it before, you'll think. I'll be fine. but no. you will make it through most of the next day and then at about 2pm you will feel like a reanimated corpse whose sim meters are all completely fucked and nothing hurts exactly but everything does feel very bad. and you'll think oh yeah. I'm not twenty anymore

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

guys i just heard a minecraft cave noise in real life

change your settings to peaceful it'll be ok

k hold on

where are my parents

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

girls I'm sorry as much as I talk about being a pervert I mostly just want someone to hold me tightly and make me feel safe and never let go

i am transfem ralsei’s #1 supporter however as a brazilian i cannot take people calling her transei seriously i am so sorry

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

Knuckle tattoo that says %APP DATA

maybe if we keep speculating about mitch mcconnell more different repub senators will drop dead