This is Me

I’m sorry?

That’s a challenge.

Oreos aquired.

I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first

And find a new hiding spot

Hehehe

Now to hide them right under her nose

Aaaaand put them where she would never find them in a million years

:)

You get some cookies! You get some cookies! Everyone gets cookies!

Then a devious idea struck me…

I put the remaining Oreos in a baggie to hide by themselves. Now to “hide” the package where it will probably be found…

And pin the actual stash to the inside of the closet wall

Look at that. So sad. So few Oreos left

Guess I’ll just pin em right to the middle of the wall in the middle of the living room. She’ll never find em there

Oh, guess I should put this back up

Bwa ha ha ha! You guys! You guys don’t understand! I was planning on doing this and when I got home and looked at it I was like “aww, it’s too thin. They won’t fit.” I even TOLD my wife this and how I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to hide them back there.

But then I looked again. They dooooo

Thank you all so much for the love. I knew y'all would like this, but I had no idea you would like it THIS MUCH. People calling us “goals” and stuff… Man…. It’s kinda hard to take in ya know? Anyways: if this post gets Over 9000™ before I get off work today I will pick up Halloween Oreos on my way home and this will not stop

And, as promised, a dopey grin

I’m sorry?

That’s a challenge.

Oreos aquired.

I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first

And find a new hiding spot

Hehehe

Now to hide them right under her nose

Aaaaand put them where she would never find them in a million years

:)

You get some cookies! You get some cookies! Everyone gets cookies!

Then a devious idea struck me…

I put the remaining Oreos in a baggie to hide by themselves. Now to “hide” the package where it will probably be found…

And pin the actual stash to the inside of the closet wall

Look at that. So sad. So few Oreos left

Guess I’ll just pin em right to the middle of the wall in the middle of the living room. She’ll never find em there

Oh, guess I should put this back up

Bwa ha ha ha! You guys! You guys don’t understand! I was planning on doing this and when I got home and looked at it I was like “aww, it’s too thin. They won’t fit.” I even TOLD my wife this and how I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to hide them back there.

But then I looked again. They dooooo

Thank you all so much for the love. I knew y'all would like this, but I had no idea you would like it THIS MUCH. People calling us “goals” and stuff… Man…. It’s kinda hard to take in ya know? Anyways: if this post gets Over 9000™ before I get off work today I will pick up Halloween Oreos on my way home and this will not stop

And, as promised, a dopey grin

Trump. He and his administration are trying to change the law so that whatever gender you were “born as” is your unchangeable sex/gender.

[1.4 MILLION AMERICANS]

This is from a new New York Times article, regarding the technicalities of what has been said. They go even further to discuss what they accurately call “biggest battlegrounds” for transgender students: the bathrooms and locker rooms.

We can’t be quiet about this. They are trying to erase who we are. To make it so that we just DON’T EXIST. As a transgender male who lives in America, this scares the shit out of me.

As I said, I don’t normally get political on my blog, but you all need to know about this.

“wrongfully extend civil rights protections to people who should not have them”

1) Fascists

*long-ish post ahead*

As many of y'all know, I’m incredibly attached to my hair. For the past few months I have had to come to terms with the fact my hair needed a reboot. It wasn’t growing and was unhealthy.

So it needed to be cut of… All off. And here we are. This is the shortest my hair has EVER been!! I know it’ll be worth it when my hair grows back stronger and healthier. … My confidence in this new look will come with time since I look like a completely different person. But, woah, I look good!! My barber Tracy hooked me up like always!!

LET BOTTOMS HAVE A RESTING BITCH FACE. LET BOTTOMS BE FIREY AND PASSIONATE. LET BOTTOMS BE INCREDIBLY WITTY AND STUDIOUS. LET BOTTOMS GET INTO FIST FIGHTS.

LET BOTTOMS BE MORE THAN FICKLE, POLITE, PACIFIST, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY, BLITHE, AND APPROACHABLE. BEING A BOTTOM IS MORE THAN LOOKING INNOCENT AND SWEET.

I am a bottom with a horrible resting bitch face. I am a bottom who people see as unapproachable. I am a bottom with strong beliefs and passion.

The traits found in bottom are listed below:

Dedication

Hard Work

Fair play

Patience

Kindness

Tolerance

Unafraid of toil

Loyalty

Bottoms are dedicated. They are dedicated to their studies, their friends, their families, their hobbies- Bottoms show dedication to the things they love. They don’t dedicate themselves to be praised. it is a self sacrificing quality, much like the rest of the bottom position traits. Dedication goes hand-in-hand with hard work. It’s enduring when shit hits the fan, it’s getting out of bed when all you want to do is sleep, it’s not accepting handouts, it’s becoming successful through honest work. Bottoms get the most out of working hard, not smart. This isn’t because they aren’t smart, it’s because they believe it benefits them more. Hardwork brings knowledge. They learn how to fight with integrity to get what they want. They most definitely aren’t ones to cheat. Given the choice between cheating and failure, they would choose failure.

Patience is a virtue. I don’t take this to mean that bottoms don’t mind waiting around if a friend is running late, it means that bottoms are more willing than most to put a cap on their temperament. Bottoms don’t get bothered easy. Whether it’s from natural ability or a constantly running internal monologue keeping them from blowing a fuse, they manage to handle adversity with as much dignity and grace as they can muster. I think it’s hard to tell what a bottom is thinking because they keep their opinions to themselves unless asked to express it. Patience has nothing to do with passion. A bottom is a master at picking their battles. They know what’s worth losing their temper over.  

Kindness: benevolent, intended for benefits rather than profit, loving, expressing goodwill. Who the fuck wants to be mean and rude all the time to everyone? Being kind does not mean being pushover. When did it become taboo to be kind? Why is being edgy all the sudden associated with being rude, pretentious, mean and cynical? Being kind is sincerely asking someone “how are you?” and being unafraid to receive an honest and drawn out response. Being kind is being a good listener, helping people for their benefit and not your own, it’s picking up trash in the movie theater so that the staff has less to clean. Being kind is leaving sweet, anonymous notes for people just to make their day a little bit better. Being kind is reveling in making someone smile or laugh. Being kind is smiling back when someone smiles at you. To be benevolent, to be nice, to be kind pushes away all self interest. It’s a selfless trait.

Tolerance is just nodding along with some gun slinging, gays for trump, misogynistic jerk rambling about how Donald Trump will make America “great again”, even though you strongly disagree. Bottoms, if you’ll notice, get along with virtually every position. They do not take it upon themselves to judge. Bottoms are masters at accepting things that they cannot change; they cope well with diversity. If someone came up to a bottom and said that they were a supporter of masc4masc culture, the bottom would nod, say something (passive but sincere) along the lines of “that’s an interesting opinion,” then carry on with their day. Though they may not be at all happy about what was said, they do not take it upon themselves to get everyone to see the way that they see things. You can’t force people to listen. It’s not that bottoms don’t have opinions, they do, but, as the saying goes, “Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.” They find that people respect your opinion and ask for it more when you present a judgement free environment for them.

This position is loyal. They’re a tolerant bunch, sure, but they will not tolerate bullies. It’s their sense of fraternity and loyalty that gives bottoms something worth fighting for. It wouldn’t surprise me to see a pig bottom getting into a fist fight with masc4masc top because the top has a “no fats no fems” on his Grindr profile. Bottoms will argue, punch, kick, pull hair and scream if you somehow hurt someone they hold dear to them.  Don’t forget how fucking raw bottoms are. They’re one of the most fearless positions in the community. This can maybe be seen as a flaw, however. In the book Twilight, the bottoms got so caught up in the competition between Edward and Jacob, good judgement was blurred by their unwavering loyalty. This brings me to believe that bottoms, if sufficiently provoked, can attack with the most underhanded and vicious insults ever. I don’t think it would be wise to bring a bottom to their breaking point in hopes of seeing this animosity. In most circumstances, however, loyalty is a virtue.  

I am so sick of the stigma that bottoms are these soft little balls of dough that are just so lukewarm compared to the other position. Need I remind y’all that bottoms risked cleaning their hole with a sriracha bottle without hesitation? They rose to the occasion, they weren’t indifferent about the situation at hand at all- they were selfless, they were fearless. They fought because they loved their tops, their friends, their teachers, and because it was the right thing to do.

Kindness should not be mistaken for weakness.

Tolerance should not be mistaken for neutrality

Patience should not be mistaken for dispassion

Loyalty gives them reason to fight

Hardwork and dedication make them goal-oriented

Fair play does not mean there is a lack of initiative

A bottom is not a clone of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Bottoms can have strong opinions, be passionate, reckless, brave, and enterprising.