Too soon?
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@i-am-a-whalien
Too soon?

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how dare they delete this
this exact scenario occurs every couple of years when they release a new spiderman
I'm so emo that Fleabag and the Hot Priest's relationship both started and ended with a question
I genuinely believe that if Ilya accidentally made Shane cry while they were in a nasty fight that he would get so nauseous that he would throw up.

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I was looking for photos of one physical condition that happens to penises and came across this photoset.
level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might
I saw someone say that they only love Ilya because Ilya loves Shane and I may have to rip my hair out.
What do you mean?????
WHAT DO YOU MEANNN???????
I can understand preferring Shane over Ilya, but I cannot understand not loving both of them.
I'm going to throw rocks at people in the words of my bestie and the actions of the Losers Club.
There is a photo deep in the Centaurs media reel archives from a community day thing where baby Shane (7) is running away from Chuck the Beaver and being βprotectedβ by the then-Captain of the Centaurs.
Harris finds it while combing through the archives for fun comparisons to the current team.
Instantly posts it with a picture of Ilya pulling Shane away from a fight single handed, and with the photo from Shane and Scottβs post-game fight when he was a Metro.
βIt only takes one Ottawa Centaur to keep national treasure Shane Hollander safe. How many Metros does it take to stop gay on gay crime???β
Ilya never gets dementia. He worries about it, with his genetic predisposition and his frequent head injuries. But he never gets it.
His brother does.
His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.
He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.
Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.
He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.
One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.
Ilya declines.
After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.
Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.
Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.
Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.
He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.
He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.
One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.
Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.
Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.
But their phone calls are enough.
About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.
He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.
And dearly missing when they end.
When Shane gets traded to Ottawa, Harris posts a pic of itty bitty toddler Shane in an Ottawa Centaurs jersey that he is absolutely drowning in (itβs Davidβs) cheesing like there is no tomorrow, next to a pic of current Shane in his new Centaurs jersey with the caption: welcome home, Shane.

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Hudson reminds me of the sharksmile son of TikTok fame.
And that's beautiful.
Learned that the girl that SAed me the summer before high school got worms.
Living la vida loca.
would it be emotional torture if I told one of my best friends (of 4 years) that he and I remind me of Syd and Carmy from The Bear?
I'd be Carmy, he'd be Syd.
Ottawa wins the Cup, wins it in LA, and due to the proximity to stardom and the several actual celebrities who make a point to come out and celebrate with the Centaurs, there are approximately seven hundred angles of the festivities on every social media by the following morning.
One of these is your classic TMZ highly invasive round-the-corner spy shot of Shane and Ilya--like, waiting for an Uber, is what it looks like, and the bass from inside the club is pounding and you can barely hear what they're saying except that the guy standing next to them is also TMZ and he's got a directional mic sticking out of his pocket pointed at them and when he gets into position you can hear Shane Hollander, like, fucking giggle.
"I'm sorry," Shane says, and his arms are around Ilya's neck. "I got--I'm a little drunk."
"It's okay," Ilya says, and he brushes a hand through Shane's hair. "Did you have fun?"
"Ye-s-s-s," Shane says, nodding his head decisively. "We won the Cu-p."
"Yes we did. I am proud of you."
"I'm proud of you!" Shane cups a hand around the back of Ilya's neck and giggles again into his shoulder. "Why aren't you drunk? I drank the same things as you--"
"I'm drunk," Ilya chuckles. "But I have twenty pounds on you and I am Russian, so."
"That's not a thing. That's not really a thing." Shane sighs and goes a bit boneless against Ilya's body and says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, uh--"
"Shh. You said you had fun, and this is all that matters. My beautiful winner." He kisses the side of Shane's face, loudly and repeatedly.
Shane makes a sound that Twitter, TikTok and Instagram comment sections will all agree is a purr.
There are also, by the following morning, about a hundred discrete comments on various platforms that all say some version of Oh I just know he talks him through it.
thinking about Yuna Hollander in her glasses rn and feeling a lottt like Ilya

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oh my god why did i just fucking realize. cliff marleau SAVED hollanov. ilya was hammering the nails in his own coffin and was gonna put in the final one THAT NIGHT after the game. his stupid ass was gonna end it. this is not communicated in the show but in the book he was about to pull the fucking trigger.
BUT THEN MY MAN, HEATHCLIFF MARLEAU, LAID SHANE HOLLANDER SMOOOOOV OUT WITH HIS BIG BEAUTIFUL BODY AND BROKE HIS COLLARBONE AND CANCELLED THEM PLANS AND SENT THAT COFFIN STRAIGHT TO THE WOODCHIPPER
EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND SAY THANK YOU CLIFF MARLEAU!!!!!!!! WE OWE YOU EVERYTHING KING!!!!!!!!!!!
My most implausibly self indulgent hollanov au is still picturing them as the protagonists of a romcom opposites attract secret high school romance,,, Ilya is the leather jacket wearing, cigarette smoking, motorbike riding bad boy and Shane is the clean cut golden boy, Captain of the hockey team and dating the class president Prom Queen,,, imagine Shane with his nice sensible haircut and his varsity jacket making out with Ilya and his multiple against school regulation piercings behind the bleachers,,,
imagine them trading jackets. shane blushing as ilya drapes the leather jacket over his shoulders one night early on in their relationship. shane in the parking lot after school shyly handing ilya his letterman jacket, only to have ilya smugly and proudly wearing it everywhere he goes