in a parasocial relationship with eduard taaffe

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

watching youtube in the 18th century: goddddddd could you skip through the 20 minutes of thanks for your ~most gracious patron her grace the duchess of D--shire, a new maecenas & the loveliest of ladies~ and get to your handel tier listing

her bff (best frog friend)

not done with talking abt affaire btw. fj is played very cartoonish and angry and unsympathetic in the new version x) in the original you could see that he was conflicted about how to deal with rudolf and his ideas, a flawed but in some ways sympathetic figure. but the new version does not even open the possibility of sympathy for fj and adds more emotional abuse of rudolf ksks. which isnt historically accurate

Every chapter of Moby Dick could literally be titled like youtube clickbait.. 'Only one bed (and he's a Cannibal!)', 'My top three favourite things to do with sperm'. 'A whale is a fish. FIGHT ME'. 'Sailor's tasks I carried out while tied to my boyfriend.' 'At least we're not on that other ship who founded a religious cult'. 'The captain had 4 Parsis HIDDEN BELOWDECKS', 'Why Sperm is vital to culture and the economy'. 'Coffin building with the bf'. 'I told this story in a South American bar and everyone LOST their MINDS'.

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

"your life is yours to mold" oh nooooooooo oh no oh my god. oh fuck me. no. oh my god. oh im so fucked dude.