Careful, it bites

snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean

a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

2026 is gonna be the year of banging your head against a wall. in 2027 maybe we can do other things

i love leaning into a bad feeling #mytwistingknife

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

we need to start legally protecting these like make this kind of bathroom part of the national park system