HXZYMIND

sometimes i be considering going back to my groomer bc at least then i felt wanted

friends talked me out of it. slept the alcohol off. though i cant guarantee i wont be drinking the rest later and slitting my arms open when everyones asleep. maybe if i hit muscle again then the hospital will finally realize that i need to be put in a ward so i dont have to deal with this shit for a while.

Im drunk enoyu to not back out this time. I'll go to the rooftop once im home alone.ill finally befree.

ive been crying a lot recently and it makes me feel so pathetic, because i usually don't cry even when im really distressed, but this current situation has me curled up in a circle crying my eyes out. i miss him so much dude.

the razors calling my name its saying "use me ren use me" /cj

gonna go out and finally pick up the knife today if nothing goes wrong ^_^

pulled my sleeve up forgetting i relapsed and got confused why there was blood on my arm

im sure my friends are tired of hearing about how much i miss him.

i miss him a little extra when stuff like this happens. he'd be so disappointed to learn ive started drinking everyday ever since he left. i miss him.

mfw i relapse simply because an account that reminded me of someone who sexually exploited me dm'ed me. i know logically its not her and yet i still. whatever.