smad

do u have those mutuals who are like WAY COOLER THAN U and when they reblog/like ur stuff ur just like 👀💯✔️👀

You were accidentally born into the dev build version of Earth, and you can use commands to hack the “game”. Describe your life.

there’s a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D

homer, the dm: okay achilles, agamemnon has just taken away your war prize, what do you want to do achilles’ player: i roll to have a diplomatic conversation with agamemnon achilles’ player: *rolls a 1* homer: you throw the staff of speaking at agamemnon’s face and storm off to sulk with your boyfriend

Homer, the DM: Your beautiful Patroclus is dead. What do you do? Achilles’ player: I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: You can’t fight everyone. How would you even– Achilles’ player: *rolls a 20* I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: *sighs* Fine. You cut a path through the Trojan army, enemy dead strewn in your wake. Achilles’ player: How many? Homer, the DM: …lots. Enough to clog the friggin’ river with bodies. Achilles’ player: I fight the river. Homer, the DM: You. can. not. fight. the. river. Achilles’ player: *reaches for dice*

sensory overload is Hell because how are u gonna explain to someone that u can’t do your work rn because everything around u is a little too much

and sometimes A Little can be as much as a bird chirping outside your window or your shirt feeling a little too tight so uhhh thanks brain

“Your art isn’t valued by the number of notes you get” okay but. If you spent 6 hours baking a cake for a party, but no one at the party eats your cake, it’s still disappointing.

tag yourself, then release yourself back into the wild, for scientific monitoring

this is the first piece of mcelroy content i ever saw, and literally everything since then has lived up to it

“naruto phase” my ass, once you watch rock lee drop his weights you’re in for life

This is so fucking funny bye

ancient greek word of the day: φαλλοβάτης, “one who ceremonially climbs atop a phallus;” hence, dick priest

φαλλοβάτης : one who mounts on a phallus-shaped pillar, phallic priest, Luc.Syr.D.29.