Hi, I'm Captain Crunch

Rb to force new people from twitter to eat bees

did you just fucking have this

my dad always tells me that when he’s with people bragging about their kids’ accomplishments and such he goes “yeah but are they like ....cool?” and the parents always give him a confused look and he goes “are they cool? my kids are so cool. i love hanging out with them.” and it always throws people off and i think that’s so funny and sweet like i may be a fucking idiot with just about zero accomplishments but at least my dad thinks i’m cool

Never not reblog.

how funny would it be if at the debate trump just lunges at biden n starts chasing him around the stage saying 'i'm gonna getcha i'm gonna getcha'

at first it's a little bit scary because nobody knows what's going on least of all Biden but then he looks back and sees the good natured look in Trump's eyes and he starts smiling and laughing and they start rolling around tickling and hugging and kissing each other a little bit and everyone in the audience is laughing and clapping and having a genuinely great time

sorry that male intimacy makes you so uncomfortable. seems like something you need to work through.

It would be like walking in on your shitty, horrible uncle having sex - I’m not into it

He only strangles tattletales... why you worried?

It’s easy as 1, 16, 3

goodnight all you sluts, whores, harlots, gamers, nerds, bitches, chads, virgins, piss drinkers, my chemical romance fans, shrimp, pixies, tax evaders, motherfuckers, and 17th century archers with impeccable aim

*me taking yet another buzzfeed quiz at 2am* please tell me who i am

.....so none of yall was gonna a tell me Lowes WAS BLACK OWNED????

What the hell Home Depot? You used to be home, now you’re just depot...

I’m sorry... a movie? I don’t recall 🧐😗