WELL FRICK THIS

Hmm... what could Terezi be looking for there? Answers in the Cloud Mirages perhaps? Or just reassurance?

I can always respect a good pun, but... this may be a bit much.

I can’t even understand.... IS THIS COMIC REAL

OOHH!!! *O* golly if that isn’t quite the sight!! or, erm... scent. I rather like this interpretation of how smell would look visually. Pulsing, hazy, and ethereal! Almost dream-like in quality, like the subject of the portrait itself! The glow is a nice effect.

Alright, I take back anything nice I said.

(INSNIFFISPHERE??????)

OHHHH DEARR

HOW COUDL THIS??? OMNIPOTENCE GREEN EXPLOSION????????!?!? HASSLED HASIDIC HASPS!!!!!!?!?!?

yowch, pyrope! Must feel like the smell version of a welding workshop.

No more rumpuses... today, we bow our heads, not in romping rambunctiousness, but rapid reticence.

I feel like Terezi MAYYY have walked in on a tense moment.

And I have no idea which guy she’s talking about. :\ They’re both kinda stare-y.

CHASTISED CHAPS CHAFING CHANGE!!!!!!!!!! A TENSE MOMENT INDEED

Seems like you need to keep these hooligans in order! Perhaps it’s time to stop aroama-ing around... [kicks self]

Same, Karkat, same. I’m not to queasy about blood myself, but goodness if dismembered limbs wallop me like a doozy! Although, Karkat may have a sensitivity to this scene for other reasons...

1: It’s funny to see your courageous leader knocked out from pure horror.

2: Karkat is sensitive about his own blood; it would make sense for him to be extremely UNCOMFY at the sight of others’.

ORRR since Karkat didn’t pass out at the sight of his own blood, Jack’s, or his friends’ during their hemoglobin-drenched escapades in the Medium, severing someone’s legs from their torso is just a bit too much for him to witness.

Yeah haha most likely a humorous effect thing

Oh no!!! D: All the dreamselves are dead!!! This is bad... so bad. This means that half of the trolls have no more backup lives!! There are no more Cloud Mirages to guide the way!!! THERE IS NO METAPHORICAL FULFILMENT OF ONES HOPES AND ALTERNATE CONSCIOUSNESS MATURITY/CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FROM THE DEATH OF ONE BODY!!!! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SATISFYING CHARACTER ARCS NOW???? IS THIS SOME CRUEL REPRESENTATION OF KARKAT’S DEAD DREAMS??????? PROBABLY

All apocalypse new bulletins are probably pretty gloomy. Don’t sweat it.

Well... that was unceremonious and efficient. Spoken like a true doomsday era beacon of a leader!

I.... should’ve expected this reference.

Hm?? Not sure what exactly Vriska is implying here: That Prospit was destroyed because of some player fault, or that they’re all losers and there’s no chance of revival now.

Oh Terezi... I don’t think that the fact that everyone is reply 3:14 hours from now is indicative of Derse’s preservation.

Oh? I assumed that if a dream self dies, the real self will wake up automatically but now... hopefully, there is still a corpse to smooch.

OH!!!

:))))

!!!!!!!!!!! 8D !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not exactly sure what the purpose for this exorbitant amount of money will be, but at least it’s something positive!

Oh!! Looks like Feferi IS okay after all.

I see!!! Much like how the Incipisphere only comes into existence once the game is played, and yet it has always existed on its own timeline... Hm. So in the time that the trolls created the humans’ universe, the entire history of that universe has already gone by/existed.

From what I could glean from Terezi and Dave’s conversation 6 hours in the future, this whole thing was Terezi’s idea. Maybe she was establishing a time loop? To spur a realization in her past self? To alert past Terezi to the kids’ existence and possible helpfulness?

SOLLUX YOU DORK

Ahhh definitely for alerting the trolls to the kids’ existence, initially at least. Hm... good idea! The transfer of money forges an amicable bond. A boonbond, even. [PUNCHES SELF] Plus the mysteriously symbolic figures would pique Terezi’s interest, instead of making her just accept the gift... blindly. [STABS SELF]

Ohh my is this one of those...? Y’know, the moments where the trolls open up a viewport and try to give the human an absolute stinker of a name?

trolling.gif

okay now what the hell

i mean baby dave is simultaneously adorable AND the funniest thing since hannah montana singing toothbrushes so actually this makes sense

Jeez, Strider! You really gotta stop beating that dead horse! [GROANS AT SELF]

What is this? A goddamn infant coronation?

Bro’s first reaction to finding a crow headed baby in a crater with a dead equine creature: slap some kamina shades on that sucker

HOW MUCH DO HORSES EVEN WEIGHT

okay never mind he’s sliced open a meteor this is like grocery bags to him

Was Terezi an orphan though? (I still don’t get how she was chosen by a goddamn egg and how her parent was an actual fetus) Maybe in the traditional Alternian sense. Terezi’s only interactions were telepathic, most likely more refined and intimate than the communications between her fellows and their lusii, excluding Arthour of course because Arthour is amazing and irreplaceable.

HORSE LEATHER BABY BIB

DAVE WAS SO HECKIN METAL

Well.... you’d probably have to be pretty metal to survive this.

I’m surprised this hasn’t ended up on parenting done right. In IRONY, of course.

TUMBLING TUMULT IN THE TUM OF A TUMBER!!!

BRO WHAT THE ACTUAL FROCK

YOU CAN’T PITCH A BABY OFF THE ROOF OF YOUR APARTMENT!!!

And he didn’t even expect Dave to “lolnope” out of that babytoss... look at the exclamation mark! Which means that he expected Dave to... not cling onto his life? Bro was already disturbing on so many levels before but shotputting an infant off a Texas rooftop without the expectation of said baby’s survival is just... Que se passe-t-il???? Someone sic AR on this guy. The law of DOING THE VERY BASIC MINIMUM OF GUARDIANSHIP AND NOT WILLINGLY HARMING YOUR CHARGE is being degraded atrociously. Putain de enfer....

Don’t you even try to heartwarm me with this cardiovascularly themed panel of mentorship in sick beatz!!! I’m onto your game, Brother Strider. Bloggery only forgets when it’s been at least 3 weeks.

Now he’s knighting a toddler. UNBELIEVABLE!! this is so illegal. so sharp.

Eh?? I thought the trolls had a grudging respect for Dave so far, because of his... severe circumstances.

Those shades are pretty insufferable though, I have to admit.

Ahhh how one of the most beautiful friendships in Homestuck began. DIBS

It seems that troll and human standards of gender are basically similar, which I suppose makes sense since the human universe is directly spawned from trolls.

OH HEY ANOTHER THOUGHT I JUST HAD: Is there only one sentient/intelligent race per universe then? That seems rather wasteful! Maybe one universe = one universe, but not necessarily one session?? Like there are probably other trolls who played Sgrub, and maybe they succeeded in creating a race alien to humans, but within the same universe? Idk, I’m grasping at straws here.

If possible, Dave was even more deadpan-gross-out-details before 13. AMAZING

Isn’t that one of the... OH M Y GOD

Damn, Dave is actually pretty good at this reverse-trolling thing. I thought Tavros’ intense smackdown was just because... he’s Tavros, but this is TEREZI!! She’s new to this though. She’ll get her feet under her in due time...

TRUTH!!!!

DAVE YOU’RE LIKE 12

OH MY GODDD I’M LUAGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOOW JUST GIGGLING AT MY COMPUTER LIKE A FOOL

GODDAMN

THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUSEST DIALOGUE

LOST IN TRANSLATION: ALIEN EDITION

I....... Is this who Dave was before SBAHJ? A... a real comic drawer. Weed, sexual implications, skater dudes and all. This image is so vintage.

THE BIRTH

OF A REVOLUTION

I’M MCFREAKING LOSING IT OVER THIS

LITERALLY WHEEZING OVER HERE

MY COMPUTER SCREEN IS PERMEATED WITH TEEN EXHALATIONS AND BREATHS OF ARTFUL ADMIRATION

y’know what SCRATCH EVERYTHING I might’ve said about the boonbonds earlier. I know the true reason for their transferral.

First: FOR THE ULTIMATE CREATION OF SBAHJ

Second: 413 BOONBONDS IS THE ONLY AMOUNT WORTH ENOUGH FOR THIS ZENITH OF ART!!! IT IS PAYMENT... AS AN ARTIST DESERVES

tbh.... i am also feeling this. this is better than the origin story of every single everything ever. the seeds of jegus. of sbahj. this was a turning point indeed

Heheheh memos...

Terezi is the first troll from the trolls’ perspective, but others have probably gone further back in the human timeline. I got this.

Aha! A conscious remark on the Dave/Karkat parallels! I dunno. A more rational, less pissy Karkat types almost exactly like Dave, and more emotional/frustrated Dave is a lot like Karkat, if you translate the troll/human. It’s just that their typing styles make them seem eternally angry or chill!

THAT’S A LIE AND YOU KNOW IT DAVE

Oh Kanaya... we’ve been over this. I think she’s too caught up in trying to explain her thought process to realize how much leverage she’s giving Rose.

Dude, Rose is DEFINITELY dangerous.

Hmm. Much like Rose, Kanaya has this underlying NEED to know, but while Rose is more concerned with the why, Kanaya wants the how. She’s constantly deconstructing other people and situations. For her, it’s not about interpreting reason but action.

Awww... Troll Project Runway would have been fun to see!!

Again, there’s that self-doubt, that overanalysis into action!!! This pesterlog is very elucidatory of Kanaya and Rose’s respective personalities.

okay now what the hell

Aaaand there’s Rose’s “screw it, life is inevitable chaos” attitude showing up.

POSSESSION POSSESSION POSSESSION POSSESSION POSSESSION POSSESSION POSSESSION POSSESSION POSSESSION!!!! I WILL TOUT THIS THEORY TO MY NETGRAVE D:<

See? Rose is not only picking apart WHAT Kanaya is doing, but, WHY she’s doing it.

Actually hold up- possession via eldritch gods may be a little TOO obvious... So it could be a red herring. But since it’s a pretty obvious red herring, maybe it’s not a red herring at all and the very idea that it could be a red herring is the REAL red herring... okay whatever i already said i’d stick with possession. maybe there will be a twist and rose is charged with possession and reckless use of dark majyyks! in whatever manner, it WILL be possession. i can feel it in my brain.

This is all so very intriguing... 

GIANT ROCK CAPTCHA CARD

.... is that a sun? ??

OHHHH DEAR... this can’t be good

I have very little idea of what any of this is, but when things are unnecessarily large and imposing and colossally impressive... I’ve watched enough disaster apocalypse prophecy movies to know where this is going.

Haha, same here, Johnny boy! Except that my container-for-random-items-dwelling amphibian of choice is like.. an axolotl or something. o__o

This reminds me of when a friend makes a funny sounding typo and you start saying it all the time... and the rest of your friends start saying it too and it becomes a meme and no one even knows why or where it comes from. Jegus!

FROGS: CONFIRMED!!!

So frogs ARE important parts of the game, if Vriska says they should appear later. Advanced game tools... hm..... Also, the implications this has about John’s session are huge! His session is premature, which could mean something literally, given the frog life cycle metaphor thing that SBURB has. It DEFINITELY means that the kids’ session is unusual in progression and pacing. Maybe a Time thing? Hm...

New troll-kid conversation trends: Sorta dodging questions? Making clothes for your young charge. Also bossiness.

[shakes head] I can’t believe you’ve betrayed your very CORE VALUES, Vriska! How could you?! D:

HAHAHAH OFC VRISKA’S IDEA OF FASHIONABLE IS HERE OWN CLOTHES + JOHN’S MOTIFS

Still not over Tavros, I see... or herself for that matter. >:)

Alright, Vriska is the WORST at relationships, but her and John are seriously too cute. John is kind of perfect for her actually, because he’s kind of unfazed about everything, has a bit of a rude streak, loves pranks, and is willing to indulge in Vriska’s antics.

Perspective!!!!

Aha, skeptical bugger John is awake.

Self-important Vriska never sleeps.

I love how John’s reaction to almost everything is “haha ok”... and the worst he can do is pretend to be a country musician.

gooooooodness, not this again :/

Hmm I can’t remember either... It’s been so long since I’ve seen this particular configuration of red and blue!

Oh man, I’ve missed Dave’s flippancy

“no biggie, i just use this concept dreamed about by humankind for thousands of years like it’s taking the bus”

Hmm, so John DOES have a suspicious side... or at least, a stubborn one.

Yeah, John only really questions things when it contradicts with the previous information that he’s taken to be carved in stone. It’s interesting how John’s either like “oh okay” or “BUT HOLD ON one diddlydarn minute”

Alright, this Time stuff is making me loopy [john giggle], but I wouldn’t say that Breath is an easy aspect either... it must take a lot of raw energy that’s sort of released with only vague guidance, the same way that wind gusts work. Time is definitely more precise; it’s cut into sizeable, regular chunks from what is potentially endless. But Breath... hm. I think there’s a lot of symbolism behind it!

Alright... so they’re all the true Dave, but at different points in the timeline and they all become the Dave that John is talking to right now...? I guess this doesn’t make sense from John’s perspective, because in his position, he exists in only the present moment, the moment that the clock’s hand quickly passes over. Theoretically, there are also an infinite amount of Johns if we regard each moment as being its own part. However, since all of these Johns are in sensical position and circumstance after each moment that is threaded together, he is only one John who exists in the present. Maybe because of Dave’s Time powers, his perception of time is more like a series, or loop, of moments that all coexist at the same time, and that there is no real present. Hmm... if we think of time like that, then it is ALWAYS the present. There is no real relative position if all moments exist at the same time...

Um. I think I’ve got this and I should stop rambling now because what is this Act One no it isn’t

BITTER ASS FAMINE!?!?! THAT’S AMAZING!!!

Also, hypothetically, could Dave use his Time powers to put off experiencing the Reckoning indefinitely or would that interfere with the infrastructure of Time mechanics within SBURB and also i’m stopping this before it gets out of hand

Saying it like it is, Strider!

Also: “rose is crazy” POSSESSION, ANYONE?!?!? 8) 

“jades crazier” okay i have no idea. benevolent cloud mirages have possessed her, idk

LOHAC has a stock market... 

Dave is becoming a time hopping Texan video game tycoon...

Boonbucks aren’t even worth that much...

AMAZING

Ooooh so it seems that Dave’s pestertroll is Terezi!!!

... It also seems that Terezi has warned Dave about Vriska!! :O the plot thickens

Is that a frickin boonsomethingortheother briefcase oh my god

[walks into a throng of smuppet bouncing alligators and your own damn self] gentlemen

Why is this... even... you know what, never mind, I’ll pull a John and just kinda upset that Dave’s time on LOHAC is spent swindling bright red alligators.

Oi!!! Backwards 612 and 413!!!!

I swear, this is going to become relevant to the game’s Ultimate Alchemy or something... it’s just the kind of thing that would. Literal reptilian embezzlement.

OHHHH is this Terezi’s doing then? The ruthless criminal lawyer and her lucrative businessman sidekick?

Yeah, this Time powers schtick is SERIOUSLY advantageous, even if it does come with its limitations and security laser dodging.

THAT IS INDEED INCREDIBLE!!! SHE DREW EYEBROWS FOR HIM AND EVERYTHING!!!

Truly... a masterpiece. I swear, I’ve seen this exact cover like 3 times before, even once at a garage sale, but this is by far the superior iteration.

But if there are no coolkids... who keeps the planet cool during global warming? CHECKM8 PYROPE GET REKT

Ermm..... whatever the heck fraymotifs are

And whatever the heck John is outpacing Dave in

Maybe that’s why he was so brusque with John earlier: ENVY

WAITAMINUTE... Both Vriska and Terezi are manipulating John and Dave, respectively... Trying to help them level up and proceed through the game more efficiently... Could this be reminiscent of Team Scourge rivalry played through human avatars in another session? Ohhh this could be bad...

Heheheh I was confused too at first.

Very meta... very unsatisfying. Blind prophets makes sense for Terezi, although I’m not sure if this significance extends irl. It’s symbolic of John’s birthday, the start of Homestuck, a deck of card, the first number is the sum of the last two, there are four thirteen year olds, blind prophets, it’s a hexagonal diamond number....?!? Man, who even knows. This stuff is probably all contained metaphorically for Homestuck, since it stems from Homestuck’s beginning.

Huuuuhhh this is all so specific... I’m a little suspicious, but mostly just curious about what Terezi is up to.

oh god

AAAAAARRTTTT!!!!!

this is especially funny to me because my friend drew kool-aid man on my hand yesterday and it’s still there

Oh John, he was never gone in the first place! Note: TROLLS GET WRINKLES

Vriska simply has no time for these nonsense shenanigans. She NEVER gets caught up in pointless side adventures. Ever! Heh, but she is being pretty helpful to John right now, getting his ass in gear and all.

OH GOD THIS AGAIN

If there’s anything I’ve learned from actually slogging through those team memos that Karkat wrote, is that timelines are kind of inevitable. And either John is still going to blast up there out of SPITE or his time will be wasted arguing with Vriska.

HAH

Hmm, so all players with the same aspect also get the same/similar echeladder.  Not to mention that Vriska is still bitter over Tavros... This could be a problem. If she sees John as an expy or a more outgoing version of John, that can’t be healthy. I have a feeling that Vriska DOES admire John’s “whatever, I’m having fun” attitude, to some degree, since she can’t let go of her own standards of being THE VERY BEST and HAVING FUN BY MANIPULATING OTHER PEOPLE, so she might project that onto others...

BONDING!!!!! okay i may have my concerns but this is a seriously cute ship. soo many possible hijinks. SOOO MANY

New homestuck headcanon: Homestuck characters can only properly communicate through text, in real life, it’s a lot of indistinct grunts and HYAAAHHHHS

Hmm, yes. I feel that Kanaya has this desire to make herself perfectly clear. She wants to transfer her meaning to other people COMPLETELY so they understand to the nth what she means to say/or is thinking. However, this attempt for clarity is just a little logorrheic, and ends up actually muddling her meaning and making it more obscure than ever. Ah, one day, she’ll learn the virtue of brevity, which Rose seems to have right on the spot in this conversation. Probably because she’s distracted and Kanaya is the type to send messages lightning-fast, otherwise Rose would match this verbosity word for word, if for the purpose of sarcastic one-upmanship.

I also just accidentally lumped myself into that group of wordy teenagers because godDAMN did I type all of that in under a minute

IS THIS NECCESSARY

the answer is no, and yet here we are. sighs.

That’s what happens when you reply back immediately! You tend to start regretting stuff... Also I think Rose views herself in stages. Y’know, kid Rose, pre-SBURB Rose, entry Rose, dark magyyks Rose. And being Rose, she may tend to look down on her past stages. She strives toward the future, and the past does little to abet that.

Ah, the perfect snark set up. Deference in seniority to fluster the opponent and make them second guess themselves. By the time Kanaya realizes that she’s been coaxed into this complimentary spool, the only thing she can do is quickly change the subject.

Basically: you know as much as me, so I’m going to BLOW EVERYTHING UP

I think Kanaya is right to be nervous. With Rose’s self-assurance, even arrogance, she could be easily manipulated by beings who promise power and answers. But how can such creatures who dwell in the dark of obfuscation and the distance of void be any avail to Light- both literally, and in terms of understanding. Rose is smart, and I’m sure that the Gods of the Furthest Ring ARE helping her in the immediate present, but her recklessness might stop her from seeing the bigger picture.

Indeed! I STILL have no idea how Derse/Prospit dreamers are divided. Disposition? Goals? Modus operandi? Since Rose and Kanaya have a lot of personality parallels, I guess it SORTA makes sense that Rose would assume that Kanaya is also a Derse dreamer, although the latter is more nurturing.

And here we see a grain of self doubt... Hopefully this will make Rose realize that she’s making a LOT of leaps and she needs to start considering things more closely, and why she’s thinking in a certain way OH MY GOD ARE THE ELDER GODS INFLUENCING HER THOUGHTS okay well of course they are but I MEAN INDIRECTLY?? LIKE. subtle possession. an eldritch infestation. not just guiding/advising her but changing her tendencies and the way she thinks/acts. i think that’s p obvious in subtext but hear me out: Rose getting possessed. ROSE GETTING POSSESSED

Exactly! It’s ironic that a Light player should be intertwining so closely with such forces of darkness. That’s where Rose and Kanaya are different, I suppose. Kanaya can find comfort in not knowing yet, she sees the value of patience and faith, but Rose demands to be in on everything. 

I’m seriously starting to think that no one in Homestuck actually speaks out loud and they all communicate using a combination of instant messaging clients and interpretive dance.

Pshawww I’m sure Karkat understands romance just as well as the next Alternian romcom connoisseur. 

Dave parallels..... DaaAAAVE PARALLELS!!!!

Understandably, it must be pretty blood-boiling to be cheated of success after EVERYTHING they’ve done to win the game. I’m still not exactly clear on what REALLY caused the rift/the trolls being denied the Ultimate Reward, but the way Karkat is so intensely scapegoating the kids makes me wonder if he himself may have had something to do with it... It’s part of Karkat’s personality! When he makes a mistake, he tends to drastically divert the blame away from himself in the most dramatic way possible, so... this is suspicious.

Deeper than the Furthest Ring, that was, Kanaya!

Karkat is a mouthy, demanding, gift to the world.

This bit makes me think that Karkat has definitely seen his share of Superiority Complex Alien Race Sci-Fi Movies too.

This can’t be a good idea...

Oh my god... to think that during all those conversations with Kanaya... she was recording and analyzing who had the upper hand in terms of snark. AMAZING

Implications on Alternian social culture:

1. Horns are a status symbol

2. Ghosts exist, and they are also white

3. Statement 1 goes against human culture while Statement 2 is in accordance with it. Trolls sure are weird.

!!! THE METRE IS MAXED OUT!!! QUICK ROSE, GET ON YOUR COMPUTER!!!

Wow, John’s pranksterism is really working.

Well, I’m sure that this... lacklustre first impression will make it all the more surprising when Rose starts really talking to Kanaya.

2late.... the computers are bing.... MONI TORRED!!! caught in the ACT mar yams... coght in the filthy, l00d.. A CT

Just LOOK at that single pixel thick mark of disgruntlement! Ohoh oho, the trolls have their way!

Erm... this file has retcon in its name but there doesn’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary, except for....

Hey ho! Wait a second! This is BEFORE the game! How did oil/imp secretions get on one of John’s posters?

Hrm seems like John is packaging a gift of shirts and pumpkin seeds! For Jade, I’m assuming...? Although that bottom shirt has the same colour, it’s quite the different symbol.

Best to let John just... naturally absorb the situation.

Kanaya gets flustered surprisingly easily for a troll who seems so composed.

John averts being trolled!! By.... being a nerd apparently.

pffhfahha!!!

1. Younger John is dumber than closer-to-present John.

2. Definite reference to Dave assuming Kanaya’s a guy, inference that Kanaya has... a masculine online aura???

Oh my god... all this time... JOHN WAS THE MASTER TROLL

There’s so much trolling going on here; I am thoroughly confused. Triple Trolling Reacharound!

HOOO BOY 

HERE WE GO

So!!! Snow exists on Alternia, but not any good fashion HA

Looks like Rose has received John’s present, and Kanaya is READY

Hmm I’m placing my bets on Rose being the ultimate winner of this. John’s shenanigans and the surprise of introduction gives Kanaya a bit of an advantage in the beginning.

Aaaand Rose takes the lead!

Ahh my predictions were correct! But this forlorn looking Kanaya does nothing to inflate my gloating...

oh good grief

Seeing this all from Kanaya’s perspective really elucidates the situation. If possible, it’s even STUPIDER than before.

Eh? What could that be- are yOU SERIOUS

JUST SAYING, WHEN PEOPLE AR E SURROUNDED BY GLOWING LIGHT THE COLOUR OF THEIR MOTIF AND HAVE ACTION LINES DRAWN BEHIND THEM IT’S PROBABLY NOT A GOOD IDEA TO START A CONVERSATION!!!!!!

EXPLOSIVELY EXPENSIVE EXPENDITURES EXPECTING EXPONENTIAL EXPERTS!!!!!!!!!

SHE’S BLOWING UP HER GATE

THAT WAS RAD, TERRIFYING AND PROBABLY A BAD IDEA ALL AT THE SAME TIME

THE EXPLOSION WAS SO INTENSE THE TIME OF DAY CHANGED AND KANAYA’S METAPHYSICAL METRIC OF SNARK WAS ALSO DESTROYED

Indeed, Kanaya, O_____O

Awww jeez, this reckless, supercharged version of Rose can’t be up to any good....

This is ...  g oing ito be intere stnig.....

MAN!!! That was a really good line somehow. It really sorta... exemplifies Rose’s character I guess? She’s still so put together despite basically turning into this super-powerful witch whose very purpose is to DESTROY THINGS. Underneath all that, she is still driven in pursuit of knowledge, more than anything and she’s not afraid of asking basic, simple questions for fear of appearing dumb. She wants to understand the world around her so she can better.. uh... manipulate it, I guess? Also, idk this line makes this seem like a really dramatic part of a movie and I’m a sucker for those.

[wiggles fingers mysteriously] incipispheeeeere mechaaaaanics

HAH A THAT IS SO LITERAL I LOVE IT

Ah... touchy subject for Vriska. I wonder if she truly misses Alternia, or if there’s so much guilt embedded in her memories of that planet that she doesn’t want to think about it at all... Maybe a bit of both. Vriska was in her 

Very objective of you John... although those movies may as well be about clowns! [crowd behind me oooohs]

That IS a pretty good title, if slightly spoiler-y. Con Air wasn’t too bad, imo, just sorta cheesy. Can’t believe it actually WON STUFF though.

Omg all of the recommended videos on the sidebar are for homestuck (nothing i don’t recognize already though so i think we’re good)

Computer glasses are probably HORRIBLE on eyesight and visibility, and I guess John might be feeling kinda nostalgic, which is why he’s using Dad’s PDA.

dude is that suburban dad twitter

the usernames really make it! wonder which one dad is..?

Well, I’m still betting on nostalgia, and that this is a handy way to showcase what other SBURBan (haha) dads are up to... Presumably, Dad isn’t shown because his family is only 25% deceased (Nanna DID sorta come back) and John’s got his PDA anyway.

Vriska says that like John has his fly down or something heheh.. I suppose this is a reference to those filial pails that the trolls have got. Considering the circumstances that filial pails are included in Alternian culture, I’d bet that they aren’t just pornographic, but maybe even traumatic.  

Most of the time, the trolls and humans have no problem communicating despite cultural barriers (except for when it’s clearly meant to be humourous, like now) which I guess sorta makes sense since their universes are so closely linked, but this... I never saw this coming.

Either Vriska’s something of a prude, which I think is unlikely but funny for her character, or pails are THAT BAD..... or they’re thirteen year olds who still giggle at “boob”.

[sighs] Oh, John... And that was actually a pretty good pun. I’m surprised John didn’t misunderstand it and say “you spelt secret wrong”. I definitely would have done that, even if I knew Vriska’s real name. On that subject... why is she concealing her identity? Does it even matter, or is she just being cagey?

BYE I HOPE YOU DON’T BECOME PLOT RELEVANT LATER

Imp: [DOFFS HAT FURIOUSLY AT GREEN (both in colour and maturity) BOFFIN, ALSO THERE ARE PRINCESSES AROUND]

JEEZ, everyone but John is having their run of the place!

Great cultural sensitivity, John! Throw out all your cleaning supplies so your house will forever reek of crude oil and cookies!

Rogue = ASSAILED

okay rose that’s a bit too liberal a use of the clone stamp tool

Ah Rose... you haven’t changed one bit I see.

The kids are SBURB rich and John seems to be the only one that gets prank’d by Nanna. Run of the mill developments.

Alright, now I’m concerned. Has Rose been studying hypnotherapy? Is she blackmailing everyone? Is this a Seer of Light power? WHAT IS GOING ON

HOLD up... so technically, everyone’s birthday is 4/13!! and they’re all the same age, give or take a half minute

Idk what to think about this, but Rose seems super distant... Now I’m REALLY curious!!

Hmm. It seems like Rose is trying to challenge to parameters of the game, pushing it as far as she can. Probably not wise, but suitably Rose-like.

WHERE IS SHE GETTING ALL THIS INFORMATION???????

Well, I guess it makes sense that she wants to play outside of the rules now; it must be infuriating to find out that even if you do everything you can, your quest is doomed for failure.

It’s true, John is the heart of the team! Or maybe if not the heart.... the lungs. (heheheheh)

Yeeeup. ANARCHY

That is the face of a girl on a MISSION

She even has an animal familiar to aid her!

Ha! So Rose still IS a thirteen year old... Nothing more telling than dressing up cute animals. Although, that turtle looks awfully concerned at the sight of this gothy teen.

THAT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE INVESTIGATING

NOT THE TURTLES!!!! THE TURTLES DID NOTHING WRONG

O roseate reptilian friend... I understand your fear now.

Jesus,Rose is all kinds of terrifying and, OH WHAT’S THAT?? I anticipate a page of sass after all this... intimidating display.

NOW IS NOT THE BEST TIME TO MULTITASK

GA: And I Feel As If I Know You Intimately

oh okay it’s just hate. nvm

HAHAHAH OH MY GOD JOHN

YOU WONDERFUL KID

Ah... so this would be the last conversation John has with Karkat. That’s odd... there still seems to be a lot of story left, surely they keep talking.

It is only now that I realize the comedic potential of this whole backwards conversation thing, and it is FANTASTIC!!! On the other end, with John being kind of hostile and Karkat just sick of everything, it was just confusing and frustrating, but now... oh my god NOW

John treating aggressively hate-crushing Karkat like an old beer buddy is great, especially since he’s not so prone to being “ughh it’s pointless trying to explain things bye i’m going to just jump around everything important like a goddamn leprechaun you’ll understand later”, or otherwise simply categorized as “evasive”

this is 24 karats right here of COMEDIC GOLD

It seems that this conversation takes place right before John’s timeline is wiped, prior to the scratch, which the trolls have been guiding the kids towards. I’m still not quite sure what exactly a scratch does, except that it disrupts a session and stopped the trolls from claiming their prize somehow, and with this pesterlog taking place before John’s timeline is eradicated... I’m guessing it does a lot of destruction, like “scratching” something off a list or “starting from scratch”.

Given that the above is true, then it DOES make sense that this is the last conversation that John and Karkat have, and there are ones we haven’t seen, which include... “stutid fuckass”, somehow.

I change my mind, this is refined, cut, and polished COMEDIC DIAMOND

............. the second hand embarrassment of everything is going to kill me

THIS IS WHY??? because he was EMBARRASSED??? rulers and rupees, i never expected this

wow okay first it was troll italian and now it’s troll japanese is Alternia just earth everything but with troll added to the beginning of it??

Wait, what? indeed!! Is the scratch going to get them to meet up soon?!?

For John’s own sake, it’s best that he stays out of this.

Finally... storyline...... they are converging

I can’t believe there’s a whole internet subculture created from Karkat’s spite

JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS

Still on Prospit, are we?

UH OH

Although. If Blue John fluorite is anything to go by, this maaaay be the start of something beautiful.

HOHOHOHOHOLD UP

VRISKA CONFIRMED FOR CURT CONNORS!?!? SHE CAN REGENERATE LIMBS (and an eye too i guess) IS SHE STRAINING BECAUSE SHE IS ABOUT TO TRANSFORM INTO A HUMANOID TROLLOID LIZARD???

....Definitely.

Awww shucks

The Ahab’s Crosshairs! How did that make it’s way to John’s session? Everything about this bunny is just so mysterious. Jade is also still falling endlessly... someone should probably help her.

DAZZLINGLY DAPPER DADS (and Mom) DANCING DANDILY ON DANTON’S DACKER

OH MY  G HY GODD

NOW IS NOT THE TIME

NOOOOOOOO!!! a heartfelt paternal reunion..... foiled by tenacity and the incessant need to prove one’s self worth

bnonon onONOHNOHHHHHH MY GOD THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN I ORIGINALLY HTOUGHT

Heh, Mom looks like she’s about to ask Dad to boogie... or maybe she’s went into teapot-arm mode from shock at the Cloud Mirage sight of her mansion blowing up.

... Maybe I was more right the first time.

John sure is funny looking with vision eight fold.

Right you are, Johnny boy.

Funny you should say that, Vriska. :\

I don’t know how I feel about this. On one hand, it could turn out much like another Tavros disaster, or they could have a real relationship. John’s definitely more strong-willed than Tavros, albeit easily manipulated. Both John and Vriska are kinda tricksy too, and I could see John bringing out the fun side of Vriska, or vice versa, Vriska bringing out the mean-spirited side of John.

Alright, THIS definitely doesn’t sound good. Making John dependent on her for the life of his friend?? Yowza, this could be bad.

Eh..? Or not.

He’s so happy to be hit in the face with a video game.

Bec to the rescue!!!! Becscue!!!!!!! :O

[sighs with 700 pages worth of anticlimactic relief]

aawbLWKJGELJGE!!!!

oh my hell....

wow WV just unwittingly looted everything he has from john

Poor WV. He spent his whole life subjugated as peasant and once he tried to take a stand, everyone who rallied behind him died, collateral damage in a war much bigger than them.

Hm, this relationship might turn out more positive than I suspected!

I’m guessing she’s talking about Tavros, given the disdain in her voice and that he rather liked being on Prospit.

That’s interesting... no dramatic turnaround event or cataclysm for Karkat until he was on the meteor. Wonder what his awakening was..

john you DOOF

I really have to question what dictates a Prospit dreamer from a Derse dreamer... Maybe it’s in enthusiasm? Derse dreamers generally seem to be more aloof, engineering things to happen, while Prospit dreamers like to plunge themselves in the thick of the action.

Hmm, that’s interesting. Vriska is turning out to be very helpful. I wonder where Derse dreamers end up...

1S TH4T J34LOUSY 1 SM3LL? >:]

Yeah, Vriska seems to be the type who would do things just for the ride, although she has shown herself to have ulterior motives before. Glad that John isn’t letting all this “doomed to fail” stuff get to him.

STILL trying to wrap my head around how astronomically powerful and significant Sburb is. It started out as just a video game but then it began messing around with reality and different dimensions and now... dude. This is literal worldbuildling, god-level, Big Bang creation in the form of a video game!!! Whaaaat!!!

Jeez, I’ve lost track of the gates. This has gotta be what, the third or fourth?

Hm, now this is odd! Wonder if there’s any new game constructs hidden in John’s house

That’s right Johnathan! Shake your fist at those pesky underlings, that’ll teach ‘em to dress in weird clown clothes and break your computer!

He doesn’t even break out the hammer, he’s just a tired dad coming home to find his house ransacked by pesky teenagers, and they will obey because of his fatherly authority, smelling slightly of shaving cream and business papers.

It’s okay John, you’re in the middle of a video game that can probably create just about anything that one might find in a tangible universe so I think you can just get new posters.

Between pixel quality and harlequin style desecration, I’m seeing more a mix of dark patches and dull MSPaint suggested hues.

OH MY gOD ANO THER ME MO

I installed a swear filter on my browser.... heheh this is gonna be hilarious

Wow! Jack really is quite a useful ally.

Actual Real Life Gossip Buddies!!! I hope we see this convo later :P

This future plot information that is kinda hinted at but not really shown is INFURIATING!!! Bluh... so Future Vriska claims that Operation Regisurp went well, without requiring Karkat's leadership. While the former may be true, I think that Karkat still has some claw in O:R's eventual success; that's just how time shenanigans work!

karkat is so r00d

Never mind, this memo has absolutely nothing to do with Operation: Regisurp.

An exile!!! Lemme guess... HEARTS Boxcars?

Aww... with this whole meteor destroying game thing and literal monsters at every corner, it's hard to forget that these guys are like. 13. I remember when I was 13.......... fresh teenagers sure are weird! Romance-crush problems were the EPITOME of EVERYTHING, last year, and it was kinda hilarious.

Um... Vriska is taking this way too well and I'm a little suspicious honestly. She probably has a plot to get revenge on Tavros, one way or another. It's just... unusual for Vriska to be behaving so maturely with someone who has "wronged" her. And Tavros upsetting Vriska is definitely a "wrong", to her. She might be convincing herself that she's not angry, although I think that deep down she really is quite upset. BUT Y'KNOW it looks bad to be all TOPPLED over something as trivial as a crush. Vriska has an appearance to maintain!

this even looks like a disaster

Boxcars(?) really does care about the wellbeing of his young protegé's love life. Not sure why he would care except that it's fitting of his assigned card suit. At least he is characteristically aggressive and blunt about it!

haHA!!! correct on an OBVIOUS thing that isn't even plot important!! 

It's so UNSETTLING to be reading a Homestuck arc about Tavros and see Pickle Inspector staring back at me, trembling like a blancmange. 

Er, I'm assuming that Sn0wman isn't prone to giving relationship advice, so either this is like a ROMANTIC EMERGENCY, or it's about something else.

I see; the latter.

Huzzah! I would know that wide brimmed capeline anywhere!

I suppose with Terezi's help. Hm. Future Vriska said that she exiled the Black Queen almost singlehandedly, yet Sn0wman is engineering her actions...? Either Sn0wman helped Vriska bring about her past self's downfall for an unknown motive, or Vriska goes AWOL and uses what information that Sn0wman has given her AGAINST the monarch.

Have I mentioned that I think Sn0wman's design is absolutely GORGEOUS??? *o* Heh... she literally has a universe inside of her...

Oh, so she usurped herself on purpose. Because her kingdom betrayed her somehow...? That first paragraph is a little confusing and I'm not sure I understand it entirely (revenge against Jack Noir, maybe???), although I'm positive the second is referring to her alliance with Lord English.

Hoo boy. This is starting to feel like a caper film.

Okay maybe more like medieval Europe based fantasy

Again, I'm not following completely, so I assume that this is to stop Jack from gaining too much power, lest he destroy the session and Sn0wman's plans.

Mother Grub skull so that's Vriska's command centre... Wonder what the deal is with that light thingy. A reference to Kanaya's land/proclivity to sunlight, perhaps?

Flooding + concealing with water seems to be a recurring motif in Homestuck, particularly around this volcano/meteor impact site/island...

Land of Rays is pretty fitting for Kanaya, but I reeeally have no idea what the last word is. Hussie did a good job of obfuscating it!

A forge! I'm guessing that's the volcano. Hm. I'm wondering about the significance of this forge in the kids' session. I have a feeling it's going to be particularly important there because a) it's Becquerel's birthplace, and b) Dave's denizen is Hephaestus, lord of the forge, who works in a VOLCANO!! cool stuff

THAT SEEMS A LITTLE PERILOUS, KANAYA!!!

No...... ANOTHE R MEMO....... they're hilarious but my eyesight is not good today and these blocks of writing are not helping

Of course, we know that something inevitably goes wrong with the trolls' session, but Karkat is right! So far, everything's fallen into place perfectly; it's prototypical Sburb session, even WITH 12 players and 12 prototypes and the two team dealio in the beginning. Which means that it's probably horribly, horribly flawed. I'm guessing that things aren't supposed to go right in Sburb, and if everything is falling into place like flour out of a sifter, there's something wrong. 

25 days to beat the game. The trolls' session is very artificially-engineered, with all this future advice and carapacian politics revolving around them, the players themselves may as well be pawns for the greater machinations of the masterminds behind the command centres. I guess this is what's "wrong" with their session: it's controlled by the NPCs! I'm betting that once the trolls start acting on their own, things are going to go wrong and they'll finally have a NORMAL Sburb session- full of strife, chaos, and pandemonium! And then they all go on a meteor somehow idk

!!! Sollux + Feferi are officially a thing in the future!! I propose "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" to be their very long ship name. (O+T+R+B)xF for short. I mean, there's a two AND red/blue in it, what more do you want

That explains why Karkat is so short with the kids... He's just glad to exercise his pent-up rage!

Wow, this got real sad real fast... At first I was going to make fun of Karkat for talking about troll Christmas in a game memo but then the lusii deaths came back to memory ouch

A null session? [New game terminology: STORED] From a current time standpoint, the session is far from null, but maybe things have changed by the time the trolls get on the meteor... Perhaps something happened so that it's now impossible to win the game and their session is at a standstill in terms of progress? shrugs

Yeah, a lot of the stuff that the trolls did/do isn't self driven like... it just happened and they didn't really have much of a choice in doing it, because that's the way their timeline was manipulated! So it's logical that they don't remember much, until the wool is burned and something goes wrong.

Right!! I almost forgot to talk about Kanaya's title reveal!! All I know about sylphs is that they're like mystical magic air creatures, which I don't think suits Kanaya's down-to-earth attitude at all. Heh, space + earth is pretty good combo though!! And I vaguely remember making a colour/aspect theory during the Intermission about how Space was related to green and Time was related to red, and it seems to hold up with the trolls' players! 

The title explains Kanaya's similarities to Jade, then. Space players are always a little special! I guess Space and Time are the focal players of each session and everyone else is kinda auxiliary.

Aaaand we're back to talking about crushes

very

I'M SO CONFUSED??? This could be about Rose. But. I don't think Kanaya has met Rose yet?? whaaaat?????? mayb she is asking for eridan or somethin

GUIDE..? Hm. On second thought this might be about Rose, after all. She DID set up a server in the ever timeless Further Ring.

Oh I see... Kanaya needs to destroy the ring LOTR style.

OH MAN THIS MOMENT.....  MAN. BRO

Karkat faints at the sight of blood... or. well. severed limbs.... AMAZING

o__o that can't be good

Whoa, that's some pretty sweet gear!!!

[gasps] THE DRAGON LUSUS LIVES

I've always imagined Terezi's lusus to be all sagely and wise, like some archaic creature, but she seems to be just as energetic and enthusiastic as her charge.

This looks so ridiculous... but no more ridiculous than Dave's iShades, I suppose.

Sounds like it's gonna be a real thing in about five seconds

H3LL Y34H!!!

Oh wow! That's how Jack ends up as Slick huh... I guess both plans worked, in the end. They cancelled each other out in a way that was beneficial to the trolls.

Hm... That's true, Karkat HAS grown awfully attached to Jack. I guess cold, hard, no-nonsense Jack Noir is the pinnacle of what Karkat wants to exude. Heh, I like how that last emoticon can be used forward AND backwards.

I think Terezi's intuition is right... Jack is a good ally to have, but he's ambitious, and if you put him in reach of something he wants, he won't hesitate to betray you. Jack is useful... but dangerous.

Jack definitely works for himself. You can never be sure of where his loyalties lie, outside of that.

oh my god that is hilarious

o:B

O:B

O8B

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!O8B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh... so she didn't see it from the viewport... then HOW?????

well rip out my earbuds and tell me hello

this. was unexpected.

and also. so expected.

in conclusion: hormonal alien teenagers are exactly like hormonal human teenagers

Lookit these dorks go!!! Also, we have yet to see an in person conversation with a dialogue box in Homestuck... everything has been with sprites, between exiles in the narrative text, through a command centre, or over a chat client of some sort.

Must suck to be a troll with horns so weird there's no keyboard symbol for them. :(

The tru homest uck shipp is....... Thoughtful chivalry............ how could this be

(sorry i don't have a better ship name)

That's... wow. That says a lot about Terezi. The dream self, from what we've seen, is an ideal version of oneself, the person in their prime. Most people haven't suffered any ailments, so their dream self doesn't change except for having some cool powers maybe. But Tavros can leap around and is perfectly able on Prospit, because that's what he believes the best version of himself to be. This means that Terezi thinks that her blind self is the best Terezi. Wow!!!

Being blind is such a big part of Terezi's character arc and who she is now!! I can see why it's so important to her that her IDEAL SELF is blind as well.

So this is how both missions succeed... They sorta DO end up dividing into two teams based on purpose, although I suppose the majority of the trolls participate in Operation: Regisurp.

Awwww.... I thought Karkat and Terezi crushing on each other was just hilarious before, but now I'm starting to ship it a little bit. They're sweet together. It's nice!

I have... choices? What is this???? Bardquest?????

this is sure mysterious.... here goes nothing

oh FINE then

I FINALLY get to enter some text and now you're telling me i got it wrong?? that's just cruel. i suppose this is a retcon thing, and i'll find out about it later.... the first karkat/terezi shippy page. hm. i'll have to remember that this is important somehow.

C'EST MAGNIFIQUE!!!!!!!!

A+. Best way to tell Homestuck. Keep doing this, Hussie. We need more.

Well... wouldja look at that. Maybe it's not the Karkat/Terezi that's important but this flash. It's been SO LONG since a flash!! Make her pay is a really good flash title. .it's vague but just menacing enough and there are so many people that this could apply to!!

I'm excited. And also frustrated because I'm going to have to wait until another time to do an audio react. BUT IT WILL COME, FELLOW READERS!!!! I WILL ONE DAY IN THE NEAR FUTURE OPEN THAT LINK

WATCH THE FLASH

AND PROBABLY FLAIL ABOUT HELPLESSLY WHILE TRYING TO SAY STUFF ABOUT IT AS IMPORTANT OMINOUS VENGEANCE THINGS HAPPEN

WE WAIT FOR THAT DAY, FOLLOWERS!!!!!

Crispin' crackers!!! That's a lotta dough!! Wonder what all of it is gonna be used for... Paying parking fines? Buying head accessories? The possibilities are endless! It would be really useful if boondollars could be converted into grist too.

Same, Tavros.

Oy! Vriska has an exile too! Lemme guess..... Sn0wman? It has to be, with all the eights and general antagonism.

Whoa!! You can switch your um... exilee??

Fascinating.... A Light player and a Seer.... if this exile is indeed Sn0wman, then it seems that Queens have a propensity to gravitate towards that class and aspect, since WQ was Rose's exile. Funny how things work out that way.

THAT IS SUCH A COOL PLANET TO HAVE!!! The Land of Thought and Flow huh.... Socrates is probably floating around here somewhere

A-ha! Fancy Queen writing!

That's uh... mysterious.

THAT IS BOTH A FANTASTIC MODUS AND TEREZI/NEPETA SHIP NAME

What a funny lookin' dragon in the background!

How you know if it's a Terezi page: when your computer automatically lowers brightness on the screen.

Whoa Sn0wman, that's intense!! If Slick dies before he even becomes Slick, then you wouldn't be in the control centre telling Terezi to kill him which would mean that Slick doesn't die early which means..... ugh!!! Not this again.

Instead of Longcat, I propose to you the new meme: LONGDRAGON

Oh..... OHHH..... Exile him. That's very different from an assassination. Hopefully Sn0wman is helping the trolls out instead of just aiding her own agenda.

Oh my god... Nepeta.... Just when I was talking about Scratch and Sniff being a ship name for her and Terezi. Not to mention.... LOLCAT..... WHEN I WAS TALKING ABOUT CAT MEMES......

i am the power

Oooh, that sounds like an interesting one! Heart was kinda obvious, and I guess Rogue makes sense because she scraps for a living in a cave. :P

ooOOOH MY GOD

NEPETA IS THE TRUE HERO OF HOMESTUCK

That was.... short work.

Have I talked about how much I appreciate Nepeta? Sure, she's silly and adorable and probably an actual cat, but none of that negates the fact that she's a BEAST with her claws!! And her fighting skills don't erase her fun loving personality either and that's just?? Really awesome!

Equius is so skinny

Skidoosh!!!

u can't just ditch ur girlfriend, equius! that's rude

altho she is a ghost in a robot body who ditched u first so whatever i guess... she probably has something important to do like punch vriska in the face with her newfound emotions and IRON KNUCKLES

Ah.... I see. Gl'bgolyb! That's why Longdragon was on LOTAF.

SAME!! I only bother to check in on group chats/group pages about once a week I am terrible

nice detail

dissonant karkat rambling about something that doesn't need full on ranting is my favourite karkat

OH MY GOD I SNORTED OUT LOUD

Man, this bulletin board-timeline thing is a real cheat for SBURB! As long as your present/past self knows how to skip around the timeline, then your future self can leave them messages and warnings n stuff!! Don't even have to rely on Horrorterrors or Cloud Mirages to know the future.

The future really is amazing

Shhh Karkat let's not use rude words

Sollux's new chumhandle acronym makes it look like he is speaking for all the concerned parents at the school board.

Right on cue and uh... Sollux wasn't faking it

I hope you're including yourself, Karkat.

OH MY GOD

KARKAT BANNED HIMSELF

THIS MAY BE THE BEST MOMENT IN HOMESTUCK

Future Karkat must be looking at this like rereading a diary from 2 years ago... or um.... a diary from 612 hours ago which is three weeks at least. A lot can change in three weeks, especially when you're playing such a dangerous game.

PROBABLY

It's a good thing that Karkat is so stubborn, or else he'd be convinced elsewise and the important future parts of the memo might be affected.

what in the..... what

Well... dark text lady. Deeeefinitely Sn0wman.

nvm i can fill in Sn0wman's text

Undisputable! Terezi probably needs to alchemize more chalk soon.

Is he cosplaying KANAYA???

Was that the fourth wall

what in the heck?????????

I don't actually know what the Never Ending Story is so I'm going to assume that this is what happens in it.

WOW on your hands too?? That's dedication, yo!

ARE WE DONE HERE

wait a second that is me?? that is how i look. i am literally a spherical headed black and white stick figure in front of a computer what is happening

Um... except guns are a little illegal in Canada. We have gun registration and turnovers annually in my area.

(This is literally how I draw myself though whaaaat)

All this feels so very early MSPA... Jailbreak, I think?

I think I've just unwittingly entered a suicide pact on the internet. o__o

I don't have an attic, but they're probably pretty scary. Basements are where my true phobia lies, I believe.

Okay, I'm really gonna have to read/watch the Never Ending Story if I'm going to understand these references. Y'know what. Screw it. I'mma google it right now YOU JUST WATCH ME!!! There's no HS spoilers in it anyway (assumingly..) so I might as well at least have an IDEA of what it is.

Oh. It's a book AND a movie. And NeverEnding is one word. Kid borrows a book he was told not to take.... oh man this is gonna end badly. Hey I've seen that ouroboros thing before!! Although, it was just in pictures explaining the cyclical concept of infinity, not in reference to Auryn. Wait no it's capitalized. AURYN, then. Um... there appears to be a werewolf in this story, so that's most likely what the wolf head references. Oh wow! Even the meta MSPA reader thing was a reference, because Bastian reads about himself in the book. GEE that must be a little scary. Hm! Sounds like a classic tale about imagination n stuff. Kinda the stereotypical "imagination is being destroyed by adult cynicism!" although this is probably where the trope originates. Good to know!

He's right... OH NO

HE ACTUALLY DID IT

And I can't believe I read the whole thing looking for differences, like a CHUMP!!!

Heh, without one horn, Hussie looks like some kinda of Kanaya/Equius hybrid. And L'il Cal apparently exists in ALL layers of meta. I... should've expected this.

OH..... oh man. I imagine that being a caught up reader at this point in time, to find you regular updates blocked by the hijinks of this man must've been equal parts hilarious and frustrating.

Yeah, a recap at this point would be a bit much! I think I've got a clear idea of what's going on anyway.

CENTURIES??? Aw jeez. Oh dear. Poor slick.

Oh.... each dash represents one player in the session, right? I guess this particular hub was designed for a four player session, and then... the trolls came along.

Thar we go!

Sollux was first to die (excluding Aradia, but I'm assuming her dreamself is still asleep and available for reincarnation?) so first to wake. Wonder who's next!!

Hold up a second. No one else is dead (yet, and again, except for Aradia) so that means that all the Prospit trolls are awake but not because they needed their extra life. Right now, their dreamselves should be functioning as dreamselves are meant to, a body for existence while the player sleeps. I wonder why THEY'RE all awake, but not the Derse dreamers... Hopefully the Prospits HAVEN'T died. It would be a waste of lives!

And funny... this bit implies that Sollux has two dreamselves, one on Prospit and one on Derse. I guess that makes sense for him, but it would totally throw off the number of dreamselves! Which means that there MIGHT be another troll who doesn't have a dreamself at all. And why would Sollux wake up on Derse but not on Prospit? Perhaps it has to do with person who revived him; it's entirely possible that Feferi is a Derse dreamer. Which would give evidence to the reason for dichotomy between Red and Blue team.... which moon the player dreams on! I think that makes sense? So if Blue team is made up of Derse dreamers, then Red team's got Prospit which means that someone on the Red team is missing a dream self IF Sollux having two dreamselves throws everyone else off. I think I've got it!

OH MY GOD WHY DID I TYPE ALL THAT WHEN I COULD'VE JUST CLICKED THE NEXT PAGE

Huh wow, Red team's dreamself chart is looking all normal and then you have BLUE TEAM GODDAMNIT SOLLUX!! And it seems that Aradia is the one missing a dreamself. Huh! I guess that's why she had to find a host for her ghost, instead of just waking up her dreamself.

Hey I've just had a thought! is it possible for an original player to visit their sleeping dream self? I mean, both the planets and moons are in the Incipisphere, so why not? You could go and throw yarn at your own dreamself! But... most likely, things don't line up that way.

This chart really has me wondering what separates a Prospit dreamer from a Derse dreamer. Is it personality type? Motivation? Purpose in the game? Because I'm really not getting it. With the kids it was easier because they were already a little split in characteristics, and that turned out to be because they were two sets of siblings. For the trolls... I really have no idea. VRISKA??? ON PROSPIT??? And Nepeta on Derse doesn't really make much sense either! Although this just comes from my preconception of the "personality" of each moon... So maybe they DO fit. Sighs... for now, I'm just gonna guess that what determines your dreaming moon is purpose in the game, or something.

Hey! Sollux has an exile too! And it's...

None other than Clubs DEUCE. Of course.

Uh oh

Aw man, CD isn't gonna die he's just tryna help!!

Poor Sollux... Having voices of dying people in your head all the time must be a major suckfest.

Stuff happening in the chosen timeframe also affects the hub... right. This is gonna abe bad.

SOLLUX's cruxite item was crab shaped...? Unless this is based on Karkat's (or Vriska's, it looks a bit like a spider too) cruxite item and EVERYONE'S command centre is inside of it.

Sollux is pretty much the only one that gets stuff done.

Mage of Doom! That is sooo video game-y. I guess he's sorta like a Witch. Fitting that he should be paired with Feferi then... As their classes are similar but their aspects, Doom and Life, are so opposite.

And LOBAF is such a gross sounding acronym

So um... troll brains look the same as human brains. What else is new.

TRACK 1: Crustacean

Very whistly! Very retro! Very reminiscent of Aggrieve! But crabbier! I like the kazoo sounding stuff... Oh! And the surprise end where all the instruments come back. That's pretty cool... The riffs are pretty Karkat too. Nice battle track overall. I'm lovin the tune!!

TRACK 2: Showdown

I misread this as Showtime at first. Whoops! Wrong session leader! It sounds pretty similar to Crustacean, at least in instrumental choice, just more hero-y, like the level 5 to Crustacean's level 2 battle theme. Sooo much intense synth going on here. I dunno how I feel about Karkat's instrument being so buzzy. I guess it sorta suits him, but it gets a little repetitive.

TRACK 3: mIrAcLeS

Well... this is weird, but in a good way. I like the bass line paired with the higher more plucky notes! Gives the song a really psychedelic feel... would definitely be playing in a weed shop in Seattle somewhere. Oh hey! The flutes are coming in! That's a nice touch. Very chill. Good choice to put more traditional sounding beats with some neo-Zen overlay.

TRACK 4: The Lemonsnout Turnabout

Dramatic beginning... The snare drums are nice... and it turns about into a harpsichord melody?? Yo!!! The harpsichord and violin sound really good together! A bit of an unexpected but welcome combination. Makes everything sound like it takes place in a fancy Renaissance court while the lords and ladies await the verdict of one of their fellows. Heh.... nice weird man scream too.

TRACK 5: Phaze and Blood

Cyberpunk-sounding!! Definitely something that would be playing if Karkat was actually good at hacking. I like the Final Countdown-esque drum progressions around the middle too. And there's that kazoo thing so characteristic to Karkat's music by now. It doesn't have quite as a distinctive melody as the other tracks though, which I guess is its failing point.

TRACK 6: psych0ruins

Hey is this in 5/4 time?? That's pretty cool! I like the lazy sounding main melody and how it gets warped... The bass is subtle but definitely there pushing the track along like the secondary melody. At some point everything starts to sound like strained screaming which is probably what Mr. Fox was going for. :P The echoey disintegrating ending is cool too!

TRACK 7: Walls Covered in Blood

Heheheh... This is cute! Very cheerful and sounds like a Mario song while also having a beachy sorta feel with the kalimba going on. Very distinctive tune and I appreciate how it's played with impossibly fast meows. The amount of homestuck songs with meows in them needs to be more!!

TRACK 8: dESPERADO ROCKET CHAIRS,

That's an interesting track name. Melancholy guitar? What's that OH MY GOD I LOVE IT you rock that xylophone, man! A nice spin on traditional torero music, complete with maracas and intense guitar strumming. TRUMPETS MAN gotta love 'em! I'm just imagining Tavros on horseback right now, galloping through the desert on his way to find his wheelchair, probably.

TRACK 9: Death of the Lusii

Sad string music and also ominous um.... looming noises? I can't find any other way to describe it but looming. And then sparkles! And flute! This track sounds a lot more like legitimate orchestra music, except that... is that the refrain from Crustacean?? Haha nice! A well crafted track.

TRACK 10: Virgin Orb

Implacably ethereal noises and then... the percussion comes in! Very floaty and cloud-like. Sounds like something that would come with a Samsung Galaxy phone, haha. The syncopation towards the end is interesting.

TRACK 11: The La2t Frontiier

MORE INTENSE GUITAR!!! OF THE ELECTRIC SORT!!! I really like the secondary beat and shoot 'em up game noises. Very fast paced, a lot of diverse sounds at once aaaand.... it drops off on an echo, like an electric fan over a cliff. Is it bad that I pictured Naruto running to this song?

TRACK 12: Skaian Summoning

I like the beginning tune... this Radiation guy sure knows how to use his piano. The scratchy radio sounds that come in and then later clear up really makes this track! Very sci-fi, makes me think of Sburban Jungle in that METEORS ARE COMING FOR YOU AND YOU PROBABLY WANT TO GET IN THE MEDIUM way.

TRACK 13: Spider's Claw (Bonus)

Snazzy intro! I don't really have much to say about this one since it's so short, but it did get my attention.

TRACK 14: Staring (Bonus)

Uh....... heartbeat thing. Clicky noises. Warped radio signal things?? I'm getting the heebie jeebies... which is probably the point. More techno than I expected! The drums are done especially well I think. ok can we stop now

TRACK 15: Keepers (Bonus)

A nice wistful tune! Sorta sounds like something you'd play on a snowy day. I like the chimes/xylophone things in the background. Sad but... hopeful. Ooh... and it's cool how the guitars kinda come in gradually.

today is NOT my day for reading lines of text in colours so close together

it's a good thing their personalities and typing styles are so different

And the drama begins... 

As a side note, it's actually a pet peeve of mine when people message me and don't really have anything to say... I mean, why should I have to come up with a conversation starter when you're the one messaging me?? I'd much rather a conversation begin with "so what are your thoughts on overdecorated houses at Christmas" than "hey what's up".

Diamonds are a girl's best friend, huh... And nubs are shoulders apparently. I didn't expect that.

The Anti-Vriska sentiment runs strong in this one.

rmesh (rolling my eyes so hard)

Actually, this whole empress thing is interesting. Feferi's intro implies that she is unique, even among others of her blood! In fact... it flat out states that she's the only one with her blood. Maybe that's why the current empress sees her as such a threat, because Feferi's blood is actually BETTER??? Even though all heirs face great danger from the current ruler, I guess Feferi is in ultra peril... which is why she has Gl'bgolyb? I dunno, I'm kinda grasping at straws here. Maybe Hussie meant to write she was the only one on the planet or something, because being the only one of her KIND wouldn't really make sense.

Oh. That's an interesting view on it. I thought Eridan was just one of those comic book villains who always fail for HILARIOUS EFFECT. But yeah, now that I think about it, Eridan would have even less friends than he has now if all the landwellers (I was so tempted to type landwellers with two w's.... it's happening. the transformation) died.

Honestly, a lot of the stuff that Eridan does is just for show. Who is he trying to impress? Probably his romantic conquests, and maybe he's trying to inflate his ego a bit too. He's trying so hard to be a Byronic hero (villain?) in this bit, but it's comin off a bit like a scene kid, really.

Well sure, there's physical difference between landwellers and seadwellers, but I dunno if being aquatic really ranks you as superior. I mean... Vriska does pretty well on water too, despite being a landweller.

oh man that is JUICY

okay........ ok dude wwhatevver you say

Well, usually, that sorta consorting is done for like. Procreating purposes. And maybe forming alliances sometimes?? So probably pretty close to what Eridan is doing. SHRUG

Heheh.... angling... nice one! Always appreciate a good pun.

Oh don't be a spoilPORT, Eridan

Funny that you should say that, Feferi. 8)

It's true! Even though it's a bit silly, gossiping about romance and crushes is just so fun! From what I've observed in my peers, I think most of the excitement of a crush is in the chase, the thrill of having someone to daydream about. There's plenty of drama when the crush likes someone else, but the euphoria of having a crush like you back is probably what keeps people going. After the two get together, I guess the shine of a relationship fades, because they get bored and break it off pretty soon. That seems to be the pattern, as far as I've seen. Fascinating!

KARKAT??? no WAY but also i can see it that boy loves his romcoms

Oh my god, Feferi keeps moirailzoning Eridan so hard... she mentions that they're moirails like every second line this is ridiculous and I do not feel bad for Eridan at all

Thank you Feferi for being sensible

OH GOD

Righto... trolls ARE essentially bisexual. Huh. Which means that there is little or no sexual dimorphism between trolls. I guess they sorta CHOOSE which gender they lean towards. Coolios!

Me too Feferi... Always a little disappointed when my friends refuse to tell me who their crushes are. Of course, in this case, Eridan is going to have some difficulty. :P

I've actually never really seen the deal with the friendzone... It's really not that bad, is it? I guess it's disappointing. But friendship is just as good as romance! Where is this mysterious friendzone?? Take me to it. I must MAKE COMRADES

swordsswordsswordsswordsswords

or uh. harpoonsharpoonsharpoons

OH MY GOD WHY

wait a second... Feferi has secret feelings too?? Hm. I'm guessing they aren't red ones. I'm calling it now: Feferi breaks up with Eridan

ALTERNIAN TAB!!! Can you even drink that underwater?

Tough life yo.

I automatically did the math without thinking and spent a whole minute wondering what 6dent meant

Hey! It looks kinda like a stretched out sideways Pisces sign!

Hmm... Ψ is pronounced as "psi"... Ψdon sounds like Poseidon. And I'm guessing "entente" is referring to the TRIPLE Entente in particular. Cool, cool, cool!

Oh it's a rifle, not a harpoon... OOPS

Ahab as in CAPTAIN Ahab, I'm assuming? Fitting that we first see Eridan use it by shooting a big white whale. And the mention of this campaign is interesting. I wonder if we'll come back to it.

First we have Bec VERY LIKELY going to be prototyped. Now this. Why? Why oh bubbliest members of the session, WHY?!?

Eridan might not actually be that much of a loser if he's had 2, maybe 3 of his quadrants filled already. It's just that he's LOSING all of them now so he seems like a loser and kind of is.

Jeez, Eridan, not everything is about you!

Hey! Those names each have 8 letters! Is that a rule for FLARP personas?

Mindfang as in mind control, I'm guessing. And Eridan is the Orphaner because that's LITERALLY WHAT HE DOES plus Dualscar because his symbol and horns do kinda look like two scars and it's Harry Potter reference.

Yowza!! >__<

Either black blood is a thing on Alternia or squid lusii with ink are...

This sequence sorta paints Vriska and Eridan as villains (which they are, to be fair) but they did have their reasons for committing such acts.

Yeah Feferi was a part of this too... I guess what makes her much more redeemable than the others (who also did their thing out of necessity) is that she doesn't enjoy doing it... I think? With the other two, they prolly laughed at their opponents and made a big show out of it, most likely to stomp down the guilt but it makes them look more nefarious.

The scale of Gl'bgolyb still amazes me. And she's probably infinitesimal compared to the Noble Circle!

GLIMMERY GLUESTICKS GLANCING AT GLANDULAR GLARES!!!!!

OH WOW OKAY OH WWKAYA

THAT IS A VERY DANGEROUS LUSUS FOR YOU TO BE LOOKING AT ADORINGLY, FEFERI

HOW DID YOU TAKE CARE OF HER WHEN YOU WERE A WEE BABE

DOES THIS AFFECT ONLY TROLLS OR IS EVERYTHING DEAD

WHY DOES GL'BGOLYB EXIST EVEN WHY

AND ALSO SO IT SEEMS THAT LESSER BLOODS ARE PHYSICALLY WEAKER GOOD TO KNOW

Hey! Eridan has rings on all his fingers except for... his ring fingers. THAT'S HILARIOUS and also a bit sad because that's where your wedding ring goes :(

It's a fishbowl! Very pretty *O*

Jade and Feferi are both Witches... and very soon going to prototype something unusually powerful...

That's a fitting title though! Feferi does sort of hold life in her hands, tasked with feeding Gl'bgolyb and all.

what the heck happened here

This sure is a confusing timeskip!

D8 Here it comes...

(Also: Nub = general torso area???)

nooooooo

i actually feel kinda bad for eridan rn look at him getting his hopes up

:(((((

Yeah, Feferi was only really sticking around out of responsibility. She thinks everything is her responsibility! I guess she's kind of sick of Eridan being her responsibility, and I totally feel for her but man is Eridan gonna be crushed.

Oh man.... oh man that is serious... Someone is going to cry

Okay I get that you are very sad and probably angry right now eridan but your whinging is making me feel a little less sympathetic

NOW OF ALL TIMES??? Although I guess. Yeah. Trolls DO work like that, don't they? Now or never! Go get 'em, tiger!

That sure is an inconvenient (but funny) way to say heart! 

And Feferi is gonna totally rebuff him huh

Yep. UnU

this is too much for me

Yeah, romance probably isn't the most important thing right now. :P I can't say that Feferi chose the best moment to break up with Eridan, but it's best to just move on at this point.

Chin up kid, you'll get a new crush in like 2 seconds probably

IS SHE FLYING???

Freedom must be SUPER important for someone who has so many responsibilities and expectations. One small victory for liberty!

Why's Karkat looking like that?? To be honest, I kinda forgot what happened to Sollux.

oh

Pummelled puns on a pompous pommel..........................

So this is what the Vast Glub does huh....

:'(

How did they end up here....?

The gates I s'pose. Ugh, these timeskips!!

Same tbh, Jack, same

that's because you ARE one, Eridan. Sorry to break the news to you

Oh yeah... Feferi's gonna save him! With her Life powers? I dunno how this is gonna work but I don't think Sollux is dead for realsies.... yet.

DON'T DO IT

oh. well that was anticlimactic

NO WAY YOU DON'T MEAN SHE'S GONNA

SOLLUX'S BLOOD LOOKS LIKE PUKE

LACKADAISICALLY LACKING LACTOSE LACKARDS!!!

BYE

WHOA

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME 

THAT KISSING SOMEONE'S CORPSE

WAKES UP THEIR DREAM SELF??? 

HAVE WE SEEN THIS?? I DON'T THINK WE HAVE SEEN THIS. WOW!!! OKAY

I'm all of them at once, somehow

Very heartwarming, Jack.

Awww..... sick....... these are some gross pages

It's the hormones. Can't blame 'em, they're only 13, after all!

Looks like it's my sign-sharing troll!!! Golly.... I'm just going to say right here that his fashion sense sucks. Is that a dyed streak going upwards?? A plum coloured cape (how do you deal w that if u live underwater)?? Oblong glasses that belong in an autumn catalogue for twenty somethings with acoustic guitars, beards, and no muscle definition?? Striped scarf + striped clown/pyjama pants AND bowling shoes??? This is too much.

I mean, I guess CC's getup is a little tacky, but it suits her personality at least. Plus it's cute and doesn't get in the way of her being the troll equivalent of a mermaid princess. But man... What is CA doing here?? So impractical. So brooding. SO TERRIBAD

Okay, hmm this is kind of a cool panel (seahorse lusus complete with saddle!!! NEEEEIIIIGGGlub) and oh my goodness is that a harpoon is he the one that killed gamzee's lusus BUT those pants

Oh! Usually we're introduced to characters while they're in their room, but I guess not this time.

Eridan is obvious! Eridanos, the mythological river into which Phaeton tumbled when struck from the sky, which most people agree is the real life Po River! EridanUs on the other hand, is one of the 88 constellations still recognized, and the 6th largest, although it's not as famous as other smaller ones. One interesting thing though is that the Eridanus is connected to the Aquarius constellation, and often portrayed as the river flowing out of the water-bearer's AMPHORA. Eh? Eeeeeh?? I'm so good

something silly is about to happen isn't it

O W8

i am waiting what else do you think i'm doing while i'm sitting here with a new webpage loading

hold up... seahorse lusus can float!?!?

THE SUSPENSE IS TOO MUCH

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN

WHIMSICAL WHARFS WHUMPLED WHILE WHIPPING WHINING WHYDAHS

IT'S A FREAKING SKY WHALE

OH MY GOD

WELL I'LL SCUPPERED

BLATHERINGLY BLITHE BLUTHS

brings a whole new meaning to dying whale noises

THAT WAS SOMEONE'S LARGE MAGICAL WHALE PARENT YOU JERKFACE

HAVE YOU NEVER WATCHED THAT DOCUMENTARY ABOUT WHY WHALING IS BAD

what.

Alright I'll admit... maybe Eridan isn't lame any more... he may be badass but he still has bad fashion, though.

Let's find out about CC!!

Oh! It's a double trident, and there's some underwater ruins behind her. Heh, her fuschia shoes look like those weird water socks that divers and level 3 swimming instructors wear.

Now this one I'm gonna have to do some prodding for... Looking up "peixes -homestuck" leads me to A LOT of Portuguese webpages about fish, so I'm going to assume that peixes just means fish! Oooh! And it's also the Portugese translation of Pisces!! That's good to know... Er. Google seems to think I'm Portuguese now, so I'd better fix that. Can't find anything for feferi though. :\

Look at that hair flingle! It rivals Eridan's cape.

Wait Feferi why are you involved in this killing of majestic inter-elementary lusii

Another indigo one... Do all indigo blooded trolls have part sea creature lusii, because they are so close to being seadwellers?

OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT THAT IS A WHOLE SKY WHALE

PLOT TWIST: Feferi is involved in an illicit whaling institution that traffics expensive aerial-grade blubber around Alternia. She is so strong because years of living in the toxin-saturated waters of the oceans have mutated her into AQUAWOMAN

Am I supposed to be reminded of the horrorterrors of derse because i am

Feferi may be so much darker than we all expected...

HOLY CRAP IF THAT'S A WHALE THEN THIS TENTACLE MUST BELONG TO A?????????

OH mmmYYy gooodDNES SS

IS THIS THE "SHE" FEFERI WAS TALKING ABOUT WITH KANAYA???

IS THIS FEFERI'S LUSUS????

IS FEFERI'S LUSUS A GODDAMN HORRORTERROR???????

IT EVEN HAS A SQUID MOUTH

[dying whale noises]

[SCREAMING WHALE NOISES]

[JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK FROM WITNESSING LOVECRAFT'S WET DREAM AND MUTTERED "i was right to go to space than to become a deep sea explorer... the bounds of our own earth is so much more alien than anything else the universe could produce" AS IT DIED WHALE]

Feferi's hive is huge compared to her but not as huge as the ELDRITCH ABOMINATION THAT IS PROBABLY HER LUSUS

So I'm assuming there's negative consequences if Feferi's lusus isn't fed... she'll be loud. And that's not good. Somehow. Connected to the "Vast Croak/other frog sound that Dersites make fun of" somehow??Jeez, Vriska isn't the only one with the burden of a monstrous, carnivorous lusus. I wonder what'll happen to the ocean ecosystem if a creature of that size dies...

Huh, he DOESN'T live underwater... despite being a seadweller. Odd.

:(

What do lusii with dead trolls do?? Find another young charge??

thx eridan ur a pal

FLARP treasure, a fridge, a shelf.... and horrible wizard statues? Rose had those because of her mom and dark majyyks but why would-

Oh my

OH MY GOD

LIGHTNING SHAPED HORNS AND SIMILARLY WAVY STREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS HAIR ABOVE HIS FOREHEAD

GLASSES

STRIPED SCARF

A MAGICAL LOOKIN CAPE

HAS HEAPS OF UNUSED GOLD

WEAPON OF CHOICE GENERATES ENERGY BLASTS AND COLOURED LIGHT

IT CAN'T BE 

HE'S

ERI' 'PORA!!!!!!!

i'm gone

ok but how does that work you're all thirteen

[groans and rolls eyes]

Maybe he's more like the anti-Harry Potter, seeing as he wants to kill everyone

Right on! He's like that guy in my humanities class who knows WAY TOO MUCH about European history and tries to argue each point by bringing up an example about the Crusades or something.

Yup. Definitely Anti-Harry Potter.

WHAT'S HAPPENING

So... we have some pet cuttlefish and hippocampi, along with an octopus floor pattern. Nice!

I'm a little concerned about how all the different letters of Gl'bgolyb are in my online nickname, Bloggery. o__o [looks at own hands] who am i

So... Feferi's lusus isn't a Horrorterror, just an emissary to the Horrorterrors. Which is SO relieving. Ha. Haha. Hahaha. 

Hmm.. both the seadwellers are connected to Rose! Eridan with his wizard statues, and Feferi with her... creature of zoological dubiousness that could probably be found in Rose's grimoire.

AND the Vast Glub!! Geez. What is with all these SUPER MEGA ULTRA PINNACLE BIGGEST OH MY GOD YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE things in Homestuck?? like, chill out yo

If the Vast Croak has something to do with creation... then maybe the Vast Glub has something to do with destruction? Seeing as Feferi wants to prevent it... shrug.

Ah... the troll queen I'm assuming? I guess she really wants to keep her seat...

Although that sounds better than execution, treating people like pets is prooobably not the best idea js. :\

Hm. Feferi is nice, but she seems to have something of a saviour complex, while Eridan on the other hand, has a genocidal one. They're the two coin faces of oppressors, I guess.

oh god

why

where did you get a cowboy hat with custom holes for your pisces horns

why is your wand shaped like your horns

Huh. Considering Kanaya's maintenance of composure while she SAWED HER DEAD LUSUS IN HALF, she seems awfully agitated by witnessing one of her friends kiss another... Unless..... wAIT NO WAY

OH SWEET JESUS CA CAN'T BE RIGHT

IS THIS WHY SHE CUT OFF TAVROS' LEGS

wait a diddlydarn second

green tears? huh. troll tears are the colour of their blood. fascinating! maybe that's why karkat's so ornery... if he cries his secret's out

i was about to make a joke about rocks but then i realize that this is a throwback and CA was wiser than we all thought

We all underestimated CA.... but here he is..... absolutely right in more ways than one

Hey ho! Kanaya's land??? Let's get a longer shot on that, lads!

Or um we could look at this instead. Just saying, that is a really ugly border and kind of a mistake, aesthetically. I sincerely hope that was a purposeful touch because.... wow. Really. I was tempted to crop this picture before putting it in this post.

Dearie me... I smell an exposition coming along. I don't know whether to be afraid or excited for all the new knowledge about to be dispensed like hand sanitizer out of an airport Purell canister while the flight attendant eyes your sneezed on elbow crooks

Hm, I think for me, personally, romance isn't all that important. It's fun to consider and read about, I guess, but I don't think that type of relationship is necessary to me :P Friendship is where it's at, yo! Idk... maybe I'm just jaded because everyone comes complaining to me about the crush problems and I'm a little annoyed because I can't empathize. 'sides, I think I should figure out my gender before I figure out any orientation stuff.

It IS true though... romance appears an awful lot in human art of all forms! Particularly ROMANCE, not love. I wonder what's up with that?? Romance must be somethin' might powerful indeed, if it is to prompt all this art! Alternia must be an absolute TREASURE TROVE of finery then....

HERE WE GO

red = pity

black = hate

concupiscent = well... lustful, according to the dictionary.

conciliatory = placating... again, a definition that should probably be put into context

Fascinating!!! New terminology!!! Man... all the puns that could come out of this are amazing. "flushcrush" (OBVIOUS), "palefail" (for when your moirail lets you down and allows you to do something stupid like backflip off your hive roof/when you get rejected by a potential moirail), "CALiginous" (for when your kismesis spontaneously turns into Lil Cal), "ashen-faced" (when you're auspistice-crushing hard on someone).... it could go on forever

Ah, that clears it up a bit! I'm still a little confused though, how are you supposed to reproduce with someone who hates your guts? That must be awkward.

Hm... yeah. We humans have friends and mediators, we just don't think of them as romantic partners. Although I would argue that platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones to human beings from an evolutionary perspective. Connections, peacekeeping, emotional support, those and many more vital benefits all come from platonic relationships, so it's still quite puzzling to me why humans prioritize romance over platonism at such a severe degree. I suppose it also depends on culture too, I know mine in particular is very family-oriented, but in North America?? In general, romance definitely takes a scoop out of platonism's importance.

Another question! Are trolls monogamous? Are there different standards for each quadrant or does everyone do their own thing?? 

YEE troll puberty must be tough! No troll adults to teach young trolls about growing up, lusii aren't much help with stuff that is biologically troll and the only older people around are probably teenage trolls who would grab the chance to punk a prepubescent troll like a leprechaun with unhealthy breakfast cereal

whoa W AAAIT

EXCITED EXTENSIONS EXTRAPOLATING EXTANT EXILES

MOM and DAD oh my god

the guardians are on a quest to help their kids' session... four guardians.... two of which are MOM AND DAD oh M Ygoddness

THIS IS GOING TO MAKE THINGS SO AWKWARD FOR ROSE AND JOHN

poor bro n grandpa.... third and fourth wheeling alongside a couple so destined to be together that their names are mOM AND DAD!!!! unless bro and grandpa are a couple too in which case i resign from lighthouse duty, because clearly, i cannot see ships even when they hit me in the face

so much revelation... and only about half of it is about troll romance -__-

I guess it's pretty useful we have a name for Jack n the BQ's relationship now!!! Although this new "concupiscent" bit is going to throw a loop in my interpretations.

I thought they just hated each other, but clearly, I was incorrect in that assumption. :P

what the hell is this

Looks like a wrestling referee... Y'know, they wear a coloured wristband on each arm and raise the arm with the colour that corresponds to the wrestler who gained points with the number of points gained on their fingers... but I have a feeling those buckets have to do with a different type of wrestling altogether. o___O

o dear lord i am too young and pure for this

it's a.... it's a hard knock life.

The only good outcome of my newly gained knowledge is.... 'rails...... before pails........ eh............

Welp. Now we know how troll babies are born. And how they sort of have parents but don't. No family trees or genealogy.net for trolls, oh no, just thank your local Mother Grub by offering your procreative juices.

Oh? What's this?

Ah! So they ARE kinda monogamous... at least within each quadrant.

and now things get even MORE CONFUSIN

someone needs to get between these two....

KANAYA HOW COULD YOU

Finally! Some stability!

Platonic soulmates!! Duuuude that would be so cool

Emotional symbiosis.... now THIS is a concept I can dig.

So there are friends, and there are moirails. And sometimes there are also matesprits. GOSH

:O!!!!!!! THE SEA PRINCESS AND TRASH LORD IN ALL THEIR GLORY

Wow! Kanaya sure is popular! I guess this happens regularly with trolls... dagnabbit.

*cracks knuckles* CHALLENGE ACCEPTED ANDREW HUSSIE!!!

Let's see... CC and CA are moirails, Kanaya and Vriska are as well. However, both CA and Kanaya have unrequited flushed feelings for their respective moirails. Meanwhile, Tavros and Vriska are oscillating between flushed and caliginous, while Kanaya auspisticizes for them, although she may not be doing so any more because of her own emotions for Vriska interfering. CA and Vriska are most definitely in a caliginous relationship, and Kanaya again mediates because she's good at that, and what CA calls a "vvillage twwo wwheel devvice" which I now realize is the iteration of the term "village bicycle" that contains the most amount of v's and w's possible.

I.... I think I've got it down pat.

I think I'm getting it, but I might be in the John zone still; who konws! :P

Of course he would! There is no greater art than a Nicholas Cage movie. Except for every movie in existence ever, that is, and that includes the obscure knock off of Ratatouille you bought in the back alley of Pricesmart at 11:56 PM from a guy named Pook.

I don't know what's coming but here it comes

Oh, these two?? I wasn't expecting that, seeing as they have differing intentions but. Charge forth!

Except um.... that I can't because i have homework I really need to do. Sunday is my rest day! I recharge for the whole week so I'd really prefer to finish everything today rather than tomorrow... Sorry! I'll leave the introductions for next time. :V